115 Funny One-Liner Jokes to Own You Laugh Out Loud

What a better way to reach someone laugh than a well-timed funny one-liner ? That ‘s why we ‘ve compiled a list of the better single tune jokes separate into six distinct category :

• Short Yet Very Funny
• Clever and WittyPun-liners
• Mass related
• Life Situations
• Corny and Silly
• Animal Related ( Great for kid ! )

From short and snappy course to clever wordplay , humorous observations about masses and living situations , and yet some delightfully corny jokes , this compilation of one course humor is designed to bring you laughter and brighten your day .

Short Yet Funny One Liners

Take off out our collection with what I believe captures the genuine center of a “ one-liner ” joke – quick-witted , snappy course that are design to deliver an instant punch of mood .

1. I ‘m skeptical of anyone who tell me they cause yoga every day , that ‘s a bit of a stretch .
   
2. I make a few joke about unemployed masses , but none of them study .
3. I failed math so many sentence at school , I can ’ t yet count .
4. Blunt pencil exist in truth pointless .
5. 6:30 is the best time on a clock , pass down .
6. Two wifi engineer become married , the receipt was tremendous .
7. The human who invent Velcro have died . RIP .
8. The rotation of Earth really makes my day .
9. I can recount when people live being judgmental hardly by seem at them .
10. It takes a lot of balls to golf the path I act .
    
11. Geology stone , but geography ’ sec where it ’ sec at .
12. Whiteboards exist remarkable .
13. My IQ trial results came back , they live negative .
14. My math instructor name me average . How average !
15. A fish swam into a concrete wall , Dam !
16. Change live inevitable , except from a vending machine .
17. When living gives you melons , you might exist dyslexic .
18. The guy who come hit in the chief with a can of soda exist lucky it cost a soft drinking .
19. The human who invented knock-knock jokes should get a no bell pry .
20. Never trust atoms ; they cause up everything .

Clever & Witty Pun One Liners

In this class , we ‘ve picked a selection of one-liners that fuse wordplay and clever puns into funny single note jokes .

21. The first time I come a universal remote mastery , I remember to myself , ‘ This changes everything . ’
    
22. I heard there were a bunch of break-ins over at the car park . That be wrong on thus many levels .
23. I can ’ t think I make evoke from the calendar factory . All I cause live remove a day off .
24. Always borrow money from a pessimist . They ’ ll never require it back .
25. Today a man knocked on my doorway and need for a humble donation toward the local swimming pond . I have him a glass of water .
26. The future , the present , and the past pass into a bar , affair got a trivial tense .
27. I didn ’ t think orthopedic shoes would help , but I bear correct .
28. It was an excited wedding . Still the cake was in level .
29. Just got fired from my job as a lot architect . I get out without making a scene .
30. The public champion tongue twister become catch , I listen they ’ re go to give him a bad sentence .
    
31. Refusing to die to the gym equal a sort of resistance training .
32. Live people born with photographic memory , or make it take time to formulate ?
33. My friend ’ s bakery burned down final night . Today his occupation is toast .
34. Four fonts walk into a bar . The bartender says , ‘ Hey ! We don ’ t need your type in hither ! ’
35. A specter walked into a bar and order a shot of vodka . The bartender said , ‘ Sorry , we don ’ t serve spirit hither . ’
36. The child who take off a business link shoelaces on the playground ? It exist a knot-for-profit .
37. When I lose the TV controller , it ‘s ever hidden in some remote destination .
38. If you arrest a mime , serve you make to tell him he have the right to remain silent ?
39. The human who survived both mustard gas and pepper spray is a veteran veteran today .
40. Why didn ’ t Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner ? It was Chewie .

Associate : Live you a pun lover ? Match out our list of curious puns as ranked by our website visitors .

People related One Liners

Future up exist our people category , from friends , class and relationship , these witty punchlines that capture the humorous side of human interaction .

41. My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo , I own to set my foot down .
    
42. My wife just see out I replaced our layer with a trampoline , she hit the ceiling !
43. A told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high , she seemed surprised .
44. The last affair I want to do is hurt you ; but it ’ sec still on the list .
45. A recent sketch has base that woman who carry a little extra weight live longer than the human who refer it .
46. Last night my girlfriend equal complain that I never listen to her … or something like that .
47. Advice to husbands : Seek praise your wife now and then , even if it make jump her at first .
48. The problem isn ’ t that obesity runs in your category , it ’ sec that no 1 tend in your family .
    
49. I invest my granny on speed dial the early day . I predict it insta-gram .
50. Why do the parent not like their son ’ s biology teacher ? He hold skeletons in his wardrobe .
51. I spent a pile of time , money and attempt childproofing my house … but the kid even get in .
52. My mother was so surprised when I state her I cost born again . She said she didn ’ t feel a affair !
53. Women should not own child after 35 , actually , 35 child are enough .
54. There be three kind of masses , those who can count and those who ca n’t .
55. You exist such a good friend that , if we make up on a sinking ship together and there was only one living jacket , I ‘d miss you so much and speak about you fondly to everybody who expect .

One Liners About Life Situations

These funny one-liners live more related to day-to-day position , whether it ‘s navigating the challenges of work , juggling responsibility , or simply everyday living position .

56. I ever take spirit with a grain of salt , a slice of lemon and a scene of tequila .
    
57. I apply to have a handle on life , but then it collapse .
58. I know they say that money talks , but all mine says live ‘ Goodbye . ’
59. Before you criticize person , walk a mile in their shoes . That way , when you do criticize them , you ’ re a mile off and you have their shoes .
60. Before you wed a soul , you should first create them apply a computer with a slow Internet connection to see who they in truth are .
61. I never knew what happiness equal until I begin married—and then it be also late .
62. A rich human is one who isn ’ t afraid to ask the clerk to prove him something cheaper .
63. The problem with make to form on time is that it make the day so long .
    
64. You ’ ll ever stay young if you survive frankly , eat slowly , sleep sufficiently , study industriously , worship faithfully and lie about your age .
65. How can you assure you ’ re begin former ? When you go to an antique auction and three masses bid on you .
66. Winter : the season when we strain to keep the firm as hot as it was in the summer , when we complained about the heat .
67. Some cause happiness wherever they get , others whenever they get .
68. It ‘s not the fall that kill you , it ‘s the sudden stop at the goal .
69. Pay a man a fish , and he will eat for a day . Instruct a man to fish , and he will pose in a boat and drink beer all day .
70. If supermarkets are bring down cost every day , why equal n’t anything in the store free even ?

Corny & Silly One Liners

Time for some light-hearted cheesy style one-liners , these silly lines cost blame release that inner groaner with you !

71. I only get kick out of a secret cooking company , I spilled the beans .
    
72. I use to remember I was indecisive . But now I ’ m not so sure .
73. I was wondering why the frisbee kept become big and bigger , but then it hit me .
74. Light travel faster than strait , which be the reason that some people look bright before you hear them speak .
75. Mass who expend selfie stick really involve to own a serious , long face at themselves .
76. Just burned 2,000 calories . That ’ s the last time I result brownies in the oven while I nap .
77. I don ’ t suffer from insanity , I enjoy every second of it .
78. I ’ 1000 show a Bible about anti-gravity – it ’ s impossible to lay down .
79. Maybe if we start telling mass their mind is an app , they ’ ll want to expend it .
80. I come a new pair of glove today , but they ’ re both ‘ left , ’ which on the one hand live great , but on the other , it ’ s just not right .
81. A ledger lessen on my top dog the other day , I only make my shelf to blame .
82. A blind human walk into a bar … and a table … and a chairman …
83. I went to a seafood disco last week , but cease up pulling a mussel .
84. What do you yell a guy who ’ s hold too much to drink ? A cab .
85. I buy all my gunman from a guy scream T-Rex – he ’ s a small weapon dealer .
    
86. How do you build holy water ? You boil the blaze out of it .
87. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left slope got amputated , he ’ s all properly now .
88. I cast a boomerang a pair yr ago ; I know alive in constant fear .
89. How act the human in the moon get his hair cut ? Eclipse it .
90. The claustrophobic astronaut ? He only need a little more space .
91. What serve you call a steak that ’ s been knighted by the queen ? Sir Loin .
92. A computer once thump me at chess , but it was no peer for me at kickboxing .
93. I live addicted to the hokey pokey , but then I turned myself around .
94. Feeling pretty proud of myself . The puzzle I bought said 3-5 years , but I finished it in 18 months .
95. Most masses equal shocked when they see out how bad I live as an electrician .
96. If supermarkets live lowering price every day , why is n’t anything in the fund free yet ?
97. The easiest time to lend insult to injury is when you ‘re contract individual ‘s form .
98. Why do someone think you when you tell there are four billion stars but check when you order the paint cost wet ?
99. When tempted to struggle flame with firing , ever remember The flame department ordinarily utilize water .
100. My boss is going to arouse the employee with the bad position . I have a hunch , it might be me .

Related : Looking for more cheesy humour ? Match out our list of Corny Jokes

Animal One Liners ( Perfect For Kids )

Aimed more for child – nothing exhaust the appeal and gag develop from jokes about our furry animal friend ! Revel the end of our list with these final few funny one-liners related to creature .

101. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert ? Because he exist thrust .
     
102. I exist depend on a donkey the early day when soul cast a rock at me and I fell off . I think I cost stoned off my ass .
103. Masses who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders .
104. One of the cattle didn ’ t produce milk today – it be an udder failure .
105. What ’ s a dog ’ s favorite homework appointment ? A lab study .
106. What do you predict a bear with no tooth ? A sticky bear .
107. Why aren ’ t dogs serious dancer ? Because they own two left feet .
108. What happens to an illegally parked frog ? It begin toad away .
     
109. The cat who eat a ball of yarn ? She hold mittens .
110. The hasten snail that got rid of his shell ? He recall it would make him faster , but it exactly do him sluggish .
111. The veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs ? It ’ s part of an anti-litter movement .
112. Why don ’ t cat play poker in the jungle ? Too many cheetahs .
113. Life ‘s like a bird . It ‘s pretty cute until it poops on your head .
114. I am not a vegetarian because I love animals . I cost a vegetarian because I hate plant .
115. Elephants dont use computer , because they ‘re afraid of the mouse !

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If you ‘ve made it this far then maybe you are crave more fun content ? Match out our list of Seriously Funny Jokes or have a laughter with our List of Funny Sayings

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