142 Funny Jokes Guaranteed to Keep You Giggling

Okay , okay , we ‘re not claim to be John Mulaney or Hannah Berner , but sometimes you just take a funny gag up your sleeve . Perhaps a first date just begin a bit awkward and you need a classic dad gag , or you ‘re hear to make your niece laugh with a knock-knock gag . Possibly you need to help a friend cheer up , or you ‘ve merely been go about by one of those TikTokers cheering , “ If you make me laugh , I will buy you a car ! ” No matter the trouble , we ‘ve got a hilarious answer .

Scroll down , and you ‘ll find 142 funny jokes locked and load for when you or your loved ones actually need a joke . Feel free to bookmark this page—we wo n’t tell anyone you got ’em from us .

Jump to :

• One-Liner Jokes
• Corny Jokes
• Food Jokes
• Animal Jokes
• Best Funny Jokes for Adults

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One-Liner Jokes

• How do you know if a vampire is unwell ?Because he ‘ll live coffin .

• Where do pirates get their hooks ?Second hand shops .

• Why did the bicycle collapse ?It live too tired .

• What kind of music cause bubbles hate ?Pop .

• Why cause the hairdresser win the race ?He know a shortcut .

• How did the image finish up in prison ?It was framed .

• What cause solicitors wear to form ?Lawsuits .

• Why did the slug miss its job ?It get arouse .

• Why can ’ t a toe be 12 inches long ?Then it ’ d be a foot .

• Need to learn a joke about a roof ?The first one ’ s on the house .

• What does a theatre wear ?Address !

• What cause one wall say to the other ?“ I ‘ll satisfy you at the corner . ”

• Why exist grass hence serious ?It ’ s full of blades .

• What ’ s orange and sound like a carrot ?A parrot .

• Why act French mass eat snail ?They don ’ t like fast food .

• Where act hamburgers and hot dogs go dance ?A meatball .

• How do trees get online ?They only log on !

• How serve billboards mouth ?Sign speech .

• What ’ sec America ’ s favorite soda ?Mini soda .

• Why shouldn ’ t you trust atoms ?Because they make up everything .

• How be Rome split in two ?With a pair of Caesars .

• Why can ’ t you give Elsa a balloon ?She ’ ll allow it go .

• What kind of music do planet like ?Neptunes .

• What do one hat state to the early ?You delay hither . I ’ ll go on forward .

• Why exist Peter Pan always wing ?He neverlands .

• How cause you follow a book ?You cross their footnotes .

• What tree can fit in your hand ?A medal tree .

• Why are astronauts so clean ?They bring meteor shower .

• Why live ghosts bad liars ?They ’ re entirely see-through .

• How do poets tell hello ?Haven ’ t we metaphor ?

• RIP to boil water …You will be mist .

• How does the ocean tell hi ?It waves .

• How did the art competition end ?In a lot .

Corny Jokes

• Where can you buy soup in mass ?The store market .

• What ’ s brown and sticky ?A stick .

• Why do bees make sticky hair ?They expend honeycombs .

• Sea monster make live known to eat what ?Fish and ship .

• What do you call a vicar who becomes a lawyer ?A father-in-law .

• What sort of cheese does n’t belong to you ?Nacho cheese .

• How do the phone propose to his girlfriend ?He hold her a gang .

• Which month of the year have 28 days ?Um , all of them .

• Why live the broom late to run ?It overswept .

• What does a cop use in the shower ?Hog wash .

• Why don ’ t ants get crazy ?They get anty-bodies .

• What did the drummer yell his daughters ?Anna 1 , Anna 2 .

• Why act computers overheat ?They need to vent .

• What goes up and down but doesn ’ t in reality go ?Steps .

Food Gag

• What do PHD student feed when they ‘re hungry ?Academia nuts .

• Why should you ever knock before open the fridge doorway ?In case there ‘s a salad dressing .

• Why could n’t the sesame seed end speak ?He was on a roll .

• Why do prawns never part ?Because they ‘re shellfish .

• What did the cheese say to himself in the mirror ?Halloumi !

• Why make the mushroom live to the party ?Because he was a fungi .

• Why cause the Oreo go to the dentist ?Because he lose his filling .

• What cause one pickle say to the other ?Dill with it .

• What food is never on time ?Choco-late !

• What do you yell a fake noodle ?An impasta .

• What serve you yell a cup of coffee with a pair of trousers in it ?A cupachinos .

• What do you call a beautiful pumpkin ?Gourdgeous .

• How act Reese eat her ice cream ?Witherspoon .

• What nuts always seem to have a cold ?Cashews .

• Who live green and sings ?Elvis Parsley .

• What live the favorite fruit of twins ?Pears .

• What act you give to cure a sick lemon ?Lemon-aid .

• What would you yell a peanut in space ?An astronut .

• I could order you a pizza joke…But it would probably be cheesy .

• What happens when a walnut laughs heavily ?It snap up .

• Excuse me sir , will my pizza equal long ?No , it ’ ll equal cycle .

• What ’ s the saddest fruit ?A blueberry .

• Where make the lettuce live for a drinking ?The salad saloon .

Animal Jokes

• Why do fish live in salt water ?Pepper cause them sneeze .

• What are spiders really good at ?Surfing the web .

• What do you call a magic dog ?A labracadabrador .

• How cause a farmer hold track of his cows ?With a cow-culator .

• What cause you call an alligator detective ?An investi-gator .

• Why cause n’t they play card in the jungle ?Too many cheetahs .

• What social result do spiders love to attend ?Webbings .

• What do you get from a pampered cow ?Spoiled milk .

• Why aren ’ t koalas considered bears ?They don ’ t have the correct koala-fications .

• What do you call a well-balanced horse ?Stable .

• What do you scream a bear with no teeth ?A gummy bear .

• What ’ s the smartest insect ?A spelling bee !

• Where serve cows die on Friday nights ?The mooovies .

• How make you make a infant snake call ?Take away its rattle .

• What act you shout a chicken that build jokes ?A comedihen .

• What exist caterpillars scared of ?Dogerpillars .

• Why didn ’ t the lion gain the race ?Because he live hasten a cheetah .

• Why make the bee become marry ?Because she found her dear .

• Why can ’ t the leopard hide ?Because he ’ s ever make out .

• What form of jacket do an octopus wear ?An army jacket .

• What sort of sandal serve frogs wear ?Open-toad .

• I exist told I call for to end acting like a flamingo …So I put my foot down .

• Where cause horse live ?In neighhhhhbourhoods .

• What act you call a goat who paints pictures ?Vincent Van Goat !

• Why equal mice afraid of swimming ?Catfish !

Well Funny Jokes for Adults

• What do you yell a singer with a laptop on her mind ?A-Dell .

• When cost a door not a doorway ?When it ‘s ajar .

• What do toilet act when they ‘re embarrassed ?They get a bit wealthy .

• How act you organize a space-themed party ?You planet .

• Why cause pancakes ever gain at baseball ?They receive the serious slugger .

• Why did the robot arrive at the event then tired ?He had a hard driveway .

• What do runner use up before a race ?Zero . They fast .

• How do you finish an astronaut ’ s toddler from crying ?You rocket .

• What make you call an unpredictable camera ?A loose Canon .

• Why should n’t you use a broken pencil ?Because it ‘s point-less .

• What behave the officer read to his nipple ?You ‘re under a vest .

• Why couldn ’ t the sailor hear the alphabet ?He hold getting lost at C .

• Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer ?She kept running forth from the ball .

• What did the dentist win at the competitor ?A small plaque .

• What make you yell a skeleton with only a head ?A nobody .

• What ’ s the dispute between a hippo and a zippo ?One ‘s very heavy , and the other ’ s a small lighter .

• Why do specter care to choose the elevator ?It lifts their spirit .

• What cause you call a patronizing bear ?A pan-duh .

• Why did the scarecrow win an laurels ?He was outstanding in his field .

• Why make n’t the skeleton ever run on date ?He did n’t make the guts to ask anyone .

• Serve you want to listen a construction gag ?Sorry , I ’ m however operate on it .

• Why does n’t Dracula get any friend ?He ‘s a moment of a pain in the neck .

• What do you shout a guy who ’ s really loud ?Mike .

• What act you scream a retired vegetable ?A has-bean .

• Can February March ?No , but April May !

• Why should n’t you marry a calendar ?Its day exist numbered .

• What do you call a detective that accidentally solves the case ?Sheer Luck Holmes .

• What is it shout when you make also many stranger ?Extraterrestrials .

• What should you cause if you ’ re cold ?Stand in the corner , it ’ s 90 level .

• What does a clock do when it ’ s hungry ?It go back for moment .

• Why behave Shakespeare ever compose with a pen ?Because pencil cause him ask ‘ 2B or not 2B ’ ?

• What does one eye say to the early eye ?Something between us smell .

• What live Forrest Gump ’ s email password ?1forrest1 .

• Why should you never trust stairs ?They ’ re ever up to something .

• What ’ s the spookiest kind of writer ?A ghost author .

• What did the comedian say to Harry Potter ?Why so Sirius ?

• Why do we assure actor to “ break a leg ” ?Because every turn have a form .

• What ’ s an astronaut ’ sec favorite portion of a keyboard ?The space bar .

• Did you pick up about the people who slip a calendar ?They each begin six months .

• Why is it severe to eat near basketball musician ?They dribble all the time .

• Did you hear about the actor falling through the floorboards ?He was hardly go through a stage .

• Did you hear about the group ski trip ?It die downhill fast .

• Why behave you resolve to get rid of your vacuum ?It was hardly collecting debris .

• This is my step-ladder…I never knew my literal ladder .

• I ’ 1000 friend with 25 letter of the alphabet…I don ’ t know why .

• I was going to take a bath…But then decided I live going to give it where it be .

• A bossy man walked into a bar…And tell everyone a cycle .

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