150 Side-Splitting Jokes to Delight Both Kids and Grown-Ups

Attempt to hold back your laughter when hearing these quick jokes.

There are days when smiling feels like a challenge. That’s why we’re here to brighten your day with the funniest jokes you’ll find! Pass them along to friends, colleagues, or your children—no need to fret about appropriateness, as every joke is family-friendly. Alongside the 125 jokes listed, we’ve included dad jokes, kid-friendly humor, mom jokes, and seasonal gags perfect for sharing with even the littlest listeners (don’t forget to save our April Fool’s jokes for next year!).

Brace yourself: What’s coming is packed with puns—some so cheesy they might make you groan. But let’s be real, who can resist cracking a smile at a silly joke? A few might even have you laughing until tears stream down your face, so consider this your fair warning. Most are quick one-liners, easy to memorize and pass along, perfect for your kids to repeat to their pals, even years from now. So gear up for a wave of laughter with these 125 outrageously funny jokes!

More Humor to Keep Them Chuckling

• Dad Jokes to Make Everyone in the Family Giggle
• 150 Hilarious Jokes for Children That Will Make You Chuckle As Well
• 150 Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Have Them Rolling With Laughter

• What did the first snowman whisper to the second snowman? I think I smell carrots around here!
• Why did Beethoven decide to part ways with his chickens? All they did was repeat, “Bach, Bach, Bach!”
• Why did 20 eat so much? Because it wanted to be 28.
• Why is grass such a hazard? Because it’s covered in blades!
  
• Why do mountains always get laughs? Because they’re peak comedy.
• Why didn’t the cactus get asked to join the mushrooms? Because he wasn’t a fungi.
• Why avoid raising funds for marathons? They simply take the cash and sprint away.
• Why did the crab go to the other side? It didn’t—it took the sidewalk instead.
• Why do pirates struggle to master the alphabet so much? Because they often get stuck at C for ages!
• Why isn’t it possible for a nose to measure 12 inches in length? Simply because that would make it a foot.
• Why is it impossible to keep two half-dollars in your pocket? Since two halves equal a whole.hole,and your cash will slip away!
• Why is a moon rock more flavorful than an Earth rock? Because it’s slightly meteor.
• What is the weight of a rainbow? Very little. In fact, they are quite lightweight.
• Which fish is the most common in the sea? The starfish.
• In Jamaica, a slice of apple pie is priced at $2.50, while in Bermuda it’s $3.75 and in the Bahamas, $3. These are the pie-rates of the Caribbean.
• Why did the football coach get angry at the vending machine? He was demanding his quarter back!
• I came up with a joke about paper earlier, but it turned out to betearable.
• What types of positions are available at a bicycle manufacturing plant? Aspokesperson
• What is the role of a condiment wizard? Saucery
• What distinguishes an alligator from a crocodile? You’ll encounter one later and the other after some time.
• What distinguishes the bird flu from the swine flu? The former necessitatestweetmentand the second one aoinkment.
• How do ducks differ from dine-and-dashers? Ducks always pay their bills.
• What distinguishes spring rolls from summer rolls? Their wrappers, fillings, and preparation methods set them apart. Spring rolls typically feature a crispy, fried exterior made from wheat flour, while summer rolls use soft, translucent rice paper and are served fresh. The fillings also differ, with spring rolls often containing cooked ingredients like meat and vegetables, whereas summer rolls commonly include fresh herbs, shrimp, and rice noodles. Additionally, spring rolls are usually fried or baked, while summer rolls are not cooked after assembly.seasoning.
• What sets Iron Man apart from Aluminum Man? Iron Man defeats the villain, while Aluminum Man thwarts their schemes.
• What distinguishes a man dressed shabbily on a unicycle from a sharply dressed man on a bicycle? The clothing.
• What distinguishes a $20 steak from a $55 steak? The date—February 14th.
• What makes Switzerland so great? Its flag is a major advantage.
• I visited the aquarium over the weekend, though my stay was brief. Something about that place seems suspicious.
• I discovered a lion in my closet recently! Curious about its presence, I inquired, and it replied, “Narnia business.”
• What is a feline’s preferred musical instrument? The purr-cussion.
• Why did the snail paint a massive S on his vehicle? That way, when he passed by, everyone would exclaim: “Check out that S car move!”
• What do you name a cheerful cowboy? A merry rancher.
• What’s a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory.
• Humpty Dumpty took a serious tumble. He mentioned his summer had been fairly enjoyable as well.
• My boss advised, “Dress for the position you aspire to, not the one you currently hold.” So I showed up dressed as Batman.
• How do you create holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
• Justice is most satisfying when delivered with patience and precision. Without that, it loses its impact entirely.
• Why should you avoid tossing grandpa’s dentures at a moving car? You could end up denturing the vehicle.
• Why can’t Christmas trees knit properly? They keep losing their needles.
• What did the lunch box tell the refrigerator? No hard feelings, but I’m just a bit cooler than you.
• I can instantly detect when a person isn’t being truthful. I can also sense when they’re remaining upright.
• Some individuals may choose their nose, but mine came with me from birth.

• Which element stands out as the most impressive in the periodic table? The answer is Ber-yllium.
• I once feared speed bumps, but now I’m working to move past that fear.
• When your home feels chilly, simply step into the corner—it’s a constant 90 degrees in that spot.
• Entering a wormhole is not advisable. You could end up trapped inside the apple.
• The proprietor of the tuxedo shop wouldn’t stop lingering nearby as I looked around, so I told him to back off. He replied, “Alright, suit yourself.”
• Why did the egg take a break? Because it was Fryday.
• Did you hear about the school kidnapping incident? Don’t worry—he regained consciousness.
• I discovered a book titledHow to Resolve Half of Your Challenges.I purchased two of them.
• Keanu Reeves and baby Yoda share a surprising similarity: their aging process occurs at an identical pace.
• Why did the coffee have a dirt-like flavor? Because it had been freshly ground moments before.
• Why is it impossible to whip up a dinosaur omelet? Because they’re egg-stinct.
• Why do quarterbacks make such predictable jokes? To ensure their receivers always catch the punchline.
• Why did the Rolling Stones quit creating music? Because they reached the bottom of the hill.
• How many goats are needed to replace a lightbulb? Only one, but you must coax them into doing it.
• What did one cupcake tell the other? You haven’t seen muffin yet.
• What makes the perfect gift? Shattered drums—they’re impossible to beat.
• Have you caught wind of the latest squirrel diet trend? It’s nothing but nuts.
• I once wrote a song about a tortilla, but now it feels more like a wrap.
• Have you caught wind of the spatula’s sizzling new romance? It found its perfect match on the grill.
• Have you heard that corduroy pillows are trending? They’re currently all the buzz.
• What does a snooping pepper do? It sticks its nose into jalapeño affairs.
• Have you caught wind of the delicate myth? It’s been debunked.
• Have you heard the tale of the pirate who turned into an incredible chef? He perfected the art of the seven sea-sonings.
• Which word becomes briefer when two extra letters are included? The answer is “short.”
• When does a hippopotamus grow tusks? Following a bit of rhinoplasty.
• What do you call a lawbreaker piloting an aircraft? Condescending.
• I made up my mind to put my vacuum cleaner up for sale. It was only collecting dust.
• I spent the entire night pondering the sun’s disappearance, only to realize the answer when morning arrived.
• Why do residents of Greece despise rising at daybreak? Because Dawn is harsh on Greece.

• What drops from the sky but never requires healing? The rain.
• I meant to share a boxing joke with you, but the punch line slipped my mind.
• I don’t enjoy spring cleaning. To be frank, I’m not keen on cleaning during summer, autumn, or winter either.
• Why did the egg stay out of sight? Because it was just a small chicken.
• What did the soil whisper to the downpour? If this continues, they’ll start calling me mud!
• Why did the sunflower struggle to bike? Its petals were gone.
• Where does an egg dream of traveling? New Yolk City.
• Yesterday, I consumed a sock. The process took a considerable amount of time.
• What candy do space travelers prefer? Mars bars.
• I was looking to purchase camouflage pants but had no luck finding them.

• I purchased a chicken and an egg through Amazon. I’ll keep you updated.
• Which month has the fewest letters in its name? May, with just three.
• The snail hitching a ride on the turtle’s shell exclaimed, “Wheeeee!”
  
• I was about to share a joke about time travel, but it seems you weren’t fond of it.
• What’s the term for a sluggish kangaroo? A pouch potato.
• I once operated a matchmaking service for poultry, but I had a hard time getting the hens together.
• Why do we say “break a leg” to actors? It’s because every performance has a cast.
• What do pigs apply to soothe dry skin? Oinkment.
• When a snowman loses its cool, what’s the result? A meltdown.
• My uncle called his dogs Timex and Rolex. They serve as his watchdogs.
• Ever hear about the man who lost his left side? Don’t worry—he’s all right now.
• How do you peel a banana? With a mon-key.

• Which is quicker, hot or cold? Hot, since you can catch a cold.
• “Hey there,” said one plate to the other. “Tonight’s meal is my treat.”
• Why do oranges use sunscreen? To avoid peeling.
• My wife asked me to quit behaving like a flamingo, so I had to stand my ground.
• What’s the term for a pig that practices karate? A pork chop.
• Where does Batman relieve himself? In the batroom.
• What do you name a small horse that’s lost its voice? A little hoarse.
• What did the left eye tell the right eye? Just between us, something doesn’t smell right.
• “Why did the mama tomato tell the baby tomato? Hurry up and catch up!”
• Why didn’t the melons tie the knot? Because they cantaloupe.
• What’s the term for a counterfeit noodle? An impasta.
• What was the pig’s ride to the hogspital? A hambulance.
• I’m such a pro at sleeping that I can even do it with my eyes shut!
• Why is Humpty Dumpty so fond of the autumn season? It’s because he experienced a significant fall.
• Why did the strawberry cause chaos while crossing the road? It led to a traffic jam.
• Why did the cow leap over the moon? Because the farmer’s hands were chilly.
• A termite strolls into a bar and asks, “Hey, is the bar tender around?”
• How does an octopus prepare for a fight? Fully equipped.
• What do you call a plump fortune-teller? A four-chin teller.

• What do you end up with if you combine a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a phantom? A cocker-poodle boo.
• How do famous personalities keep their cool? They’re surrounded by countless admirers.
• “Ever heard a pickle’s favorite card game invitation? ‘Dill me in!'”
• Why does a pirate spend so little on corn? Because it only costs a buccaneer.
• Where do saplings go to get educated? Elementree school.
• Why do bees end up with sticky hair? The reason is their use of a honeycomb.
• How did the student react upon discovering electricity? Completely electrified.
• What do you name a bee that struggles to decide? A Maybe.
• Why did six feel scared of seven? Because seven eight nine.
• If the rains of April lead to blossoms in May, then what follows the blooms of May? Pilgrims.
• Yesterday, I attempted to grasp the fog. Mist.
• What’s the term for a hippie’s spouse? Mississippi.
• Two peanuts strolled along the sidewalk. Suddenly, one was assaulted.
• How can you identify a dogwood tree? Look at its bark.
• What did the bison say when his child left for university? Bison.
• As the refrigerator door swung open, what remark did the mayonnaise make? Shut the door—I’m in the middle of dressing.
• Which planet smells the worst? Poopiter.

• “Hey wall, what’s your plan?” asked the first. “Let’s catch up at the corner,” the other replied.
• Why don’t sharks ever go after clowns? It’s simple—their flavor is just too amusing.
• A horse enters a bar. The bartender asks, “What’s with the sad expression?”
• What words did the pirate utter upon reaching 80 years old? Aye matey.
• What’s black and white and spins endlessly? A penguin stuck in the washing machine.
• How do you throw a cosmic celebration? You planet.
• Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired.
• Have you caught wind of the gossip regarding butter? Honestly, I’d rather not pass it along.
• What was the reason the student consumed his assignment? His instructor mentioned it was as easy as a slice of cake.
• What did one hat tell the other? Stay here, I’ll go first.
• What do you name a dinosaur who totals his vehicle? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
• I was puzzled by the baseball growing bigger until suddenly it struck me.
• What’s the name for a boomerang that doesn’t return? A stick.
• “Why did the full glass mock the empty glass? Because you seem intoxicated.”
• Why does a bull stop charging? Because its credit card gets canceled.
• Why is it so rare to spot elephants concealed in trees? Simply because they excel at staying hidden.

• What sets a hippo apart from a zippo? The first is quite hefty, while the second is a bit less weighty.
• Ever heard that joke about the roof? Forget it—it’s probably too high for you to grasp.
• I once despised facial hair…until it gradually won me over.
• A cheese production facility in France blew up. Da brie was scattered all over the place.
• What footwear does a ninja prefer above all? Sneakers.
• Which insect has the most pleasant aroma? A deodor-ant.
• What’s the name for a toothless bear? A gummy bear.
• Why did the coach start shouting at the vending machine? He was trying to get his quarter back.

Jill Gleeson is a travel writer and memoirist living in the Appalachian Mountains of western Pennsylvania. Her work has appeared in numerous websites and publications, such as Good Housekeeping, Woman’s Day, Country Living, Washingtonian, Gothamist, Canadian Traveller, and EDGE Media Network. She serves as the travel editor for Enchanted Living. Discover more about her experiences at gleesonreboots.com.

Laugh-Out-Loud Jokes to Enjoy Every Day of the Year