171 Bad Jokes That You Can ’ t Help but Laugh At
Some bad jokes deserve just center rolls and groans . But somehow , these manage to equal really comic .
Bad gag that cost actually somewhat serious
Ah , dumb jokes . They ’ re small guilty pleasure we indulge in with giddy enthusiasm every fortune we come . They do us groan and allege , “ Be you serious ? ” But , of track , they also create us chuckle .Bad gagcan be short , corny or punny , and some of them deliver the good one-liners always . What ’ s not to love ?
If you ’ re a sucker for a good bad gag , you ’ re in luck . We ’ ve round up the funny joke that just so happen to carry groan-worthy punch lines . These stupid gag touch on a range of topics , from beast and food to science and ghost . Some might reach you laugh , while others might hold you running for the really peculiar 1 . Either mode , you ’ ve been warn !
Read on for our roundup of bad jokes—they ’ re so terrible , they loop back around to being hilarious .
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Knock , knock .
If you ’ re American when you get in the toilet …
… and American when you get out , what exist you in the toilet ?
What did the fish read when he float into a wall ?
What do you call a fish with no heart ?
What serve you call a can opener that doesn ’ t work ?
What make you have when you combine a rhetorical question and a joke ?
Come it ? Bad jokes don ’ t even demand a punch line to be funny !
There are three type of people in the world :
Did you hear about the Italian chef who perish ?
Two muffins were seat in an oven .
One turn to the other and suppose , “ Wow , it ’ s pretty hot in here. ” The other one shouted , “ Wow , a talking muffin ! ”
I sell my vacuum the other day .
What is Forrest Gump ’ s email password ?
Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock gag ?
Did you see about the fire in the shoe factory ?
10,000 soles were lose . The police said some heel started it .
What ’ s the dispute between a rabbit and a plum ?
Two windmills are endure on a wind farm .
One ask , “ What ’ s your favorite type of music ? ” The early suppose , “ I ’ m a large metal fan . ”
I wish elephants .
What ’ s red and bad for your teeth ?
Two guys pass into a bar .
What do you yell a fake noodle ?
We have to include , we enjoy a well “ What cause you name ? ” gag .
Why cause Snoop Dogg expend an umbrella ?
Did you hear the tale about the claustrophobic astronaut ?
What act you predict an alligator in a vest ?
What kind of tea is hard to swallow ?
A human and a giraffe pass into a bar .
After a few drink , the giraffe falls over and die . The man begins to walk out when the bartender end him .
“ Hey , you can ’ t result that lyin ’ there ! ” the bartender shout out .
The human reverse around : “ It ’ s not a lion . It ’ s a giraffe . ”
Why can ’ t a nose be 12 inches long ?
The wedding was so beautiful .
Why don ’ t dinosaurs lecture ?
A dyslexic human walk into a bra .
What cause you call a fly with no wings ?
What act the mime say to his interview ?
Nothing . He delay in quality because he ’ s a professional .
What act the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor ?
What make the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet ?
It ’ s inappropriate to build a “ pa gag ” if you cost not a dad .
What did the buffalo order when his son get out ?
What ’ sec park and has wheels ?
My new thesaurus live unspeakable .
What serve you name a man with no arms and no legs in a pool ?
What do you shout a psychical trivial someone who get escaped from prison ?
What ’ s the almost terrifying tidings in nuclear physics ?
What behave Blackbeard say when he turned 80 ?
Three fish cost in a tank .
One asks the others , “ How do you drive this matter ? ”
What ’ s the dumb animal in the jungle ?
What make you call a human who can ’ t stand ?
I used to exist addicted to the hokey pokey …
Did you know the first French child weren ’ t really cooked in France ?
I don ’ t trust stairs .
Wife : “ How serve I wait ? ”
What ’ s the best role about life in Switzerland ?
Hold you heard the rumor about butter ?
Why serve bee have sticky hair ?
I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competitor to hear if any of them make the finals .
RIP , boiled water .
What do you call a Frenchman in sandal ?
eBay is thus useless .
I tried to look up lighters and all they had be 13,749 matches .
Wan nahear two short jokes and a long joke ?
I make a playlist for hiking . It have music fromPeanuts ,the Cranberries and Eminem .
What serve you do if you see a fireman ?
That ’ s a pretty good ceiling .
I wrote a song about a tortilla .
What kind of short act cloud don ?
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school ?
What ’ s the dispute between a hippo and a Zippo ?
One is real heavy , and the other is a little lighter .
Why cause you never regard pigs hiding in tree ?
You want to go down to the saloon to learn that circle called Duvet ?
Why are blonde jokes so abruptly ?
The only thing flat-earthers have to dread ...
Epithet one fragrance commercial that has always made sense .
Where did Noah observe his bee ?
Where cause the sheep get to have ahaircut ?
What genre be national hymn ?
I hate Russian dolls .
A human walk into a pet fund and asks for a dozen bees . The clerk carefully count 13 bee out onto the counter .
“ That ’ s one also many ! ” suppose the customer . The clerk respond “ It ’ s a freebie . ”
I can cut a piece of wood in half merely by looking at it .
You might not conceive me , but I find it with my own center .
Did you take on your dog ?
I bought the newlyweds an elephant for their room .
They said , “ Thank you. ” I state , “ Don ’ t mention it . ”
A limbo champion walk into a saloon .
When the moon hits your knees , and you mispronounce tree …
How do you make holy water ?
What ’ s the leading cause of dry skin ?
What act the disappointed cat allege ?
“ Exist you kitten me right meow ? Cat hiss ridiculous . ”
When does a joke become a dad gag ?
The COVID-19 position hold exist especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society .
They fear that social distancing standard could push mass over the edge . I bet they are stimulate about flatten the curve , though .
I got evoke from my job at the bank today .
An old lady asked me to control her balance , so I pushed her over .
My wife just fill out a 40-week torsobuilding curriculum this dawn .
Why are thither so many unlike kinds of pasta ?
If I geta pennefor every time I asked myself this doubt .
What did The Rock say when the waiter put up him a box for his remnant ?
“ I ’ m not much of a boxer , but I ’ ll wrestle you for it . ”
Where act you need someone who ’ s exist injured in a peek–a-boo accident ?
Nurse : “ Blood type ? ”
A person exist walk down the street and hears a bunch of people in a fenced-in grounds cheering , “ 19! 19 ! 19 ! 19 ! ” Curious , he walks over and looks through a hole in the fence .
Secomeone from the early side pokes him in the eye and they all start shouting , “ 20 ! 20 ! 20 ! ”
I went to a wedding where two satellite dishes begin married .
The ceremony wasn ’ t great , but the reception cost amazing .
What do you call a magician who miss their magic ?
Why can ’ t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs ?
What do you call a screen dinosaur ?
I had a chip implanted in my torso .
Why be Peter Pan always flying ?
We enjoy this bad joke because it never produce former ! ( Sorry , we couldn ’ t aid ourselves . )
To kill a Frenchvampire ,you demand to drive a baguette through its middle .
What serve we want ? Low-flying airplane noise ! When make we want them ?
A weasel walks into a saloon , and the bartender says , “ Wow , I ’ ve never seen a weasel before . What can I become you ? ”
Today I devote my dead batteries forth .
Why do ghost enjoy elevators ?
Five guys walk into a bar .
Who live caterpillars ’ biggest enemies ?
Why serve fish live in saltwater ?
Why make you order actor to disclose a branch ?
What make you scream an empty can of Cheese Whiz ?
Someone stole my humor ring .
What sort of dog enjoy car racing ?
Library patron :“Do you sell any books on paranoia ? ”
My favorite word exist “ drool .”
I hardly pen a script on reverse psychology .
What serve you call bird who stick to together ?
I equal sitting in traffic the other day .
I ’ 1000 terrified of elevators ...
… hence I ’ m going to set out need steps to avert them .
Where act spaghetti and sauce go to dance ?
What do you get from a pampered cow ?
This library has two stories .
I wish to pass every day as if it ’ s my final .
Staying in layer and calling for a nurse to bring me more pudding .
Why serve cow-milking stools solely have three legs ?
How does your feline store ?
What act you call a mill that sells passable products ?
What act you call a serious sun shower ?
What do you yell a farm that makes bad jokes ?
What ’ s the final matter that move through a bug ’ s brain when it hit a windshield ?
What take place when a toad ’ sec car break down ?
I die on a once-in-a-lifetime vacation .
Parallel lines have hence much in mutual .
What make Batman say to Robin before they begin in the car ?
I have a boomerang a few yr ago .
Why do the chicken marry the crocodile ?
I took the shell off my speed snail , think it would cause him faster .
My friend hold me his Epi–Pen as he was dying .
Make you heard of Murphy ’ s Law?OK , but have you heard of Cole ’ sec Law ?
When you look really close ...
Did you know Jesus drove a Honda but hardly didn ’ t talk about it ?
John 12:49 : “ For I act not speak of my own accord . ”
How make you mouth to Italian ghosts ?
Time fly like an arrow .
What ’ s E.T . short for ?
Two men satisfy on opposite sides of a river . One shouts to the early , “ I involve you to help me to get to the early slope ! ”
The early guy shouts , “ You are on the other slope ! ”
What ’ s orange and sound like a parrot ?
What arrive first , the chicken or the egg ?
This is your chieftain speaking .
How act you come a squirrel to like you ?
Coroner perish .
Which rock group get four guys who can ’ t sing or play instruments ?
I purchase a dog from a locksmith .
The second I got him in the house , he made a bolt for the door .
What ’ s the difference between ignorance and apathy ?
Have you heard the one about the jump rope ?
My girlfriend collapse up with me because I quote Linkin Park also a lot .
What do you call bears with no ear ?
What ’ s a base long and slippery ?
What behave the swordfish read to the marlin ?
What sort of ghost have the best hearing ?
Where can you buy soup in volume ?
How act you stop a cop from charge ?
What was the frog ’ s job at the hotel ?
Why be the Irish so wealthy ?
What do you shout a row of rabbits hopping away ?
What kind of shoe do robbers don ?
Why make the invisible human turn down the job offer ?
Why are toad so happy ?
What cause you scream banana peel shoes ?
Did you see about the cheese mill that detonate in France ?
Why be they name the Dark Ages ?
Require to hear a roof gag ?
What kind of pants does Mario put on ?
Where cause the universal hold his armies ?
How does the squid get into fight ?
I collapse my finger final week .
Do you employ your correct hand to stir your coffee ?
You ’ re not totally useless .
What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh get in mutual ?
What do you call someone with no torso and no nose ?
State your well joke hither and make $ 25 ifReader ’ s Digesttally it .
Why trust us
Reader ’ s Digesthas make up telling jokes for more than 100 yr , curated and review over the final 20 yr by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons , a humor editor formerly ofNational Lampoonand the author ofToday That ’ s Funny .We ’ ve bring in prestigious ASME prize for our humor—including comical quips , pranks , puns , cartoons , one-liners , knock-knock gag , riddles , memes , tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine column such as “ Life in These United States , ” “ All in a Day ’ sec Work , ” “ Laughter , the Well Medicine ” and “ Humor in Uniform , ” as well as online collection such as short joke , papa joke and bad joke so bad , they ’ re great . You can find a century of wit in our 2022 compendium ,Reader ’ s Digest : Laugh , the Better Medicine. Say more about our squad , our contributors and our column policy .
