180+ Best ( and Worst ) Dad Jokes : Let ‘s Make it Cheesy
Novel dad joke to make even your sullen teen giggle . 👑
I own a lot of regard for my dad . He ‘s able , full of serious advice , passionate about matter like grilling , card games , and ’70s rock-n-roll ( which he never fails to remind me used to be super cool ) . That ‘s right , he ‘s a pa . And he cause thus much right that it lead me marvel what ca n’t he make ? Plainly , state a joke . But that ‘s why we love dad gag .
These days , the honored pa joke cost a genre of its own . It ‘s the essential “ so bad it ‘s well ” gag — commonly a quick pun or one-liner , issued with an over-eagerness that ‘s much more curious than the joke itself . Whether your papa ‘s a nerd , honed specially to tell you bad jokes , or whether he ‘s the kind of pa who would n’t correct you when you ‘re explore for elbow dirt under the kitchen counter , we ‘ve all run into our share of cheesy dad gag . And sometimes , we are all papa , and our joke can rival .
Can I let you in on a little secret ? Sure , we moan when he tells them . We wrap our eyes and say , ‘That ‘s then corny , dad . Why act you always do this ? ‘ But if I ‘m cost honest , I enjoy every one he tells . So scroll down and control out our collection of our top good dad jokes ( no , that ‘s not an oxymoron ! ) , from the wittiest , to the corniest , a few zingers , and some that are ( forgive me ) absolute steamers in the best manner potential .
Okay , inner papa , it ‘s time to serve your worst . Give your favorite cheesy , top or bad dad jokes a thumb up !
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Best Dad Jokes
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Dad Jokes for Adults
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Random Dad Joke 🎉
Hit the magic button and permit the population serve up your next groan-worthy dad gag from this page !
Cheesy Dad Jokes that Are Super Pun
Why cause bees receive sticky hair ? Because they apply honeycombs .
Why ca n’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom ? Because the “ P ” is still .
What make one ocean say to the other ocean ? Zero , they just waved .
What cause you call a detective who accidentally solves all his event ? Sheer Luck Holmes .
What act the buffalo say to his son when he leave family ? Bison .
I ca n’t bring my dog to the pond anymore because the duck go on assail her . That ‘s what I get for take over pure bread .
Never play poker with cows , the steaks are too high .
And the God said to John , “ Come forth , and have eternal spirit . ” But John occur fifth and gain a toaster .
I ‘m an expert at heating fragrant leaves in water . You could say it ‘s my special-tea .
How make you make a robot angry ? Keep pushing his button .
How serve you make a tissue dance ? Put a small boogie in it .
What act you scream a group of unorganized guy ? A cat-tastrophe .
Why make the coffee taste like soil ? It live lately earth .
Where cause a pirate go to come his hook ? The second hand store .
How do a penguin make its house ? Igloos it together .
How much does a rainbow weigh ? Not much , its actually quite light .
What fruit gets resentful at weddings ? Melons . ‘Cause they ca n’t elope .
My wife order me to remove the spider out sort of than killing it . So we went and had some drinks . Turns out , the child ‘s a web designer !
Why is n’t a leopard serious at hide and attempt ? Because it ‘s ever spotted .
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack ? An abdominal snowman .
What do you shout a mill that cause okay production ? A satisfactory .
What do you begin from a pampered cow ? Thwart milk .
I ‘d avert that sushi if I exist you . It ’ s a short fishy .
What did the cop say when it result the oven ? It ‘s bacon in thither .
Why do n’t skeletons fight each early ? They ai n’t get the guts .
What do the duck read after he finish dinner ? Lay it on my bill .
The Best of Dad ‘s One-Liners and Zingers
I get to buy some camo gasp but couldn ’ t find any .
I ‘ve have bad experiences with elevators , so it ‘s time to take steps to avoid them .
When god equal handing out brain , you guess he said trains and asked for a toy one .
When living hold you melons , you might exist dyslexic .
The worst thing about working at the unemployment office is getting fired one day and still having to depict up at work the future day .
I can ’ t think I begin fired from the calendar mill . All I did was choose a day off .
I ‘ve just write a song about tortillas ; really , it ’ s more of a rap .
Never-ever trust stairs . They ‘re ever up to something .
If you see cow sleep in a field , does n’t that mean it ‘s pasture bedtime ?
I would tell you a construction joke , but I ‘m yet working on it .
Lost my wife ‘s audiobook the early day , and today I ‘ll never hear the goal of it .
To every who ‘s always said my procrastination would contain me back from my true potential : just you wait !
A blind human walk into a bar , and a table , and a chair .
I was addicted to the Hokey-Pokey , but I turned myself around .
To whoever happened to steal my depression meds : I hope you ’ re happy now .
I used to have a task crushing pepsi cans ; it live soda pressing .
Look hon , if you he ca n’t appreciate your fruit humor , it ‘s time to let that mango .
I apply to make a soap addiction , it ‘s alright I ‘m clean today .
The past , present , and next pass into a saloon . It equal tense .
Of course matter are always in the final seat you look ! After than you stop looking .
I ‘m write a script about cyclones and tornados …. but right now it ‘s just a draft .
Top Dad Jokes ( He Affirm ! )
My boy demand whether we pyromaniacs . I state , “ Of grade we arson . ”
What serve you name a fish tire a bow-tie ? Sofishticated .
Do n’t mean to brag or anything , but the cashiers at the grocery store exist ever checkin ‘ me out .
What ‘s the well thing about Switzerland ? I act n’t know , but the flag exist a big plus .
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school ? It ’ s fine , he wake up up .
I have n’t been to the gym in then long that I ‘ve become back to calling it James .
What do you scream a human wearing a carpet on his brain ? Matt .
The kids build a powerpoint to convince me to require them to the water park . It had several slides .
What do you call a tomb entire of coin ? A crypt o’currency
Why make cool pa always carry a pencil ? To pull a bunch .
Why make gardeners make the best gossipers ? Because they know the soil on everyone .
Say a joke during the TV conference , but no one laughed . Guess I ‘m not remotely queer .
My wife ask me to go get 6 pot of Sprite from the market store . I realized when I got home that I had picked 7 up .
Why did the scarecrow win an award ? Because he was outstanding in his field .
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes . She have me a hug .
Why are pirates bad at singing the Alphabet ? Because they get stuck at C .
A man walks into a zoo . The only creature there exist a dog . It ‘s a shitzu .
Clever and Funny Dad Jokes for Nerds
What do you yell it when software developers reach fun of each early ? A cyber boolean .
I ’ d never permit my children look on the orchestra . There ’ s too much sax and violin .
I ‘m understand a book on anti-gravity . It ‘s impossible to place down !
Why don ’ t scientist trust atom anymore ? Because they make up everything !
Why was the math book sad ? It have too many problem .
Papa : “ Doc said I have the peek-a-boo virus . ”
Kid : “ Is it grave ? ”
Dad : “ Ca n’t allege but they sent me to the ICU . ”
So about the claustrophobic astronaut … He ‘ll be alright . He merely require a little space .
What act you yell a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary ? A thesaurus !
It cost a known accuracy that a wizard never farts ; he casts spirit .
Did you learn about the restaurant on the moon ? Great food , no atmosphere .
Girlfriend told me , “ One more number joke and we ‘re through . ”
Thus I looked at her and suppose , “ Pair enough , then . ”
I tell my wife , “ I learn Old McDonald ’ s farm be outsourcing project to artificial intelligence . ”
Her : “ AI ? ”
Me : “ AI . ”
Her : “ Oh . ”
Why did n’t Han Solo bask his steak dinner ? It equal Chewie .
Why do n’t programmers like nature ? It get too many bugs .
What do you come when you cross a computer and a lifeguard ? A screensaver !
What do you name a triangle without any angles ? Nice effort .
A apothecary froze himself at -273.15 C , and everyone said he equal crazy . Call on out , he was 0 K .
Land is 70 % water and uncarbonated . Technically , it equal level .
Two antenna become marry . The ceremony was alright , but the response was incredible !
Oldies but Goodies — Best Dad Jokes We Even Laugh About
Boss expect why I only get grim on work day . I guess it must live my weekend immune system .
A momma tomato , daddy tomato , and infant tomato are walking along . The baby tomato fall behind , so the papa tomato goes back and smashes him , state , “ Catch up ! ”
My friend could n’t pay his water bill , so I sent him a “ get good soon ” card .
Did you pick up about the cat that ate a lemon ? Today it ’ s a sour pussy .
Why did the banana get to the physician ? It wasn ’ t peel good .
3 month pregnant woman fell into a deep coma . Six month later , she woke up and need about her infant .
” You make twins , ” the physician said , “ a boy and a miss . They ‘re both fine , and your brother mention them . ”
” Oh no ! My buddy ‘s an idiot . What did he cite the miss ? ”
” Denise . ”
” Hey , that ‘s not bad . And the son ? ”
The doctor rock her chief and said , “ Denephew . ”
Why did the tomato act red ? Because it saw the salad dressing ?
Why did the coffee file a police report ? It get mugged .
My wife purchase a bundle of graph paper . I remember she ‘s plotting something .
What serve you call a fish with no eye ? A fshhhhhhhh .
A man equal driving place when he gets a call from his wife .
She says , “ I just saw the word . There ‘s some maniac driving the wrong mode on the interstate ! ”
He says , “ One ? There ‘s hundred . ”
My coach told me to have a good day . So I behave n’t live into study .
My wife fill out a 36-week torso build up program …. It ‘s a baby boy : 8lbs , 1 ounce .
When make a gag become a dad gag ? When its punchline become seeming .
Final night , individual stole my limbo stick . I signify , how low can ya go ?
I once gather a shy pebble . She bid she live a little bolder .
For sale : a couple of sock puppets ? Today , who ‘s concerned in taking them off my hands ?
What seat on the seafloor and hold anxiety ? A nervous wreck .
What make one wall say to the other ? “ I ‘ll meet you at the corner . ”
Bad Dad Jokes for Adults
Hence a guy yell a swimming pond caller and state , “ I got a leak in my pond ” .
The man that resolve the phone says , “ Well , go forward . ”
So I asked my wife how come she like me .
She said , “ It ‘s movement you do me gag . ”
” Really ? ” I tell , “ I recall it was because I be so serious in bed . ”
” See ! Sooooo queer ! ”
A woman in labor call , “ should n’t , would n’t , could n’t , cause n’t , ca n’t ” . The Doctor tells her husband , “ Do n’t worry , those are exactly contractions ” .
A musical note pass into a bar and orders a beer . The bartender reply : I can ’ t serve you . You ’ re A Minor .
A mushroom walks into a bar and orders a drink .
The bartender says , “ I can ’ t serve you . ”
The mushroom order , “ Why not ? I ’ m a fun-guy . ”
My trader sold me a pair of shoes . I put on ’ t know what he twine them with , but I ‘ve cost trippin all day .
A pirate walks into a saloon with a steering bicycle attach to his crotch .
The bartender asks , “ Hey Cap’n , what ‘s with that guide wheel thither ? ”
” Yarrrrrrr , ” the pirate says , “ it ‘s driving me nuts ! ”
You really become ta hand it to short mass … It ‘s only fair since they ca n’t pass anyway .
What ‘s the dispute between outlaws and in-laws ? Outlaws are desire .
When God cost pass out looks , you guess he said ledger and require for a funny one .
Picked up a hitchhiker .
He ask : “ You ‘re brave . How do you know I ‘m not a serial killer ? ”
I answer , “ The odds of that there are two serial killer in this exist insane . ”
What act one ass cheek say to the other ? Together , we can block this crap .
What ‘s the dispute between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants ? One is a crusty bus post , and the early cost a busty crustacean .
My friend exist obsessed with taking blurry pictures of himself while require a shower . He hold serious selfie steam issue .
My wife is enraged at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard . Personally , I ’ m on the fence .
Two dragon walk into a bar .
One suppose to the other , “ It ’ s hot in here . ”
The early snaps back , “ Shut your mouth ! ”
What ’ s the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Simply one get nuts .
The Worst Dad Jokes of All Time
Did you know bunnies feed more carrots than people ? Of course ! When cost the last time you saw a bunny eat a person ?
Pa : What equal the dispute between a piano , a tuna , and a mass of glue ?
Me : I do n’t know .
Dad : You can tuna piano but you ca n’t piano a tuna .
Me : What about the mass of glue ?
Dad : I know you ‘d make stuck on that .
Kid : “ That ‘s not average ! ”
Dad : “ Fair comes to town once a yr . There ‘s a large bicycle that goes round in circle . ”
When my wife be sad , I let her color in my tattoos . Grow out , she just require a shoulder to crayon .
Reverse camera are great ! I get one when I purchase my fresh car and since then I ‘ve never looked back .
This morning , my neighbor was talk to her guy . Crazy , properly ? !
Then , when I got home , I told my dog and we own a actual good laugh about it .
Thus I opened the water bill and the electricity bill at the same time . Lem me tell you , I be shock !
I ’ 1000 thinking about take out my spine . I feel like it ’ s merely keep me back .
How do you make holy water ? You boil the hell out of it .
I made a pencil with two erasers . It live pointless .
My wife said to put ketchup on the grocery list . Now I ca n’t even take it .
I hardly get out I ‘m colorblind . The diagnosis occur completely out of the purple .
Why did the calendar go to therapy ? Because its days exist number .
I distrust someone have been add land to my garden . The patch thickens .
Scientist have observe the world ‘s large layer sheet . More on this report as it unfolds .
You know , people state that they blame their nose , but I feel like I be simply wear with mine .
My wife : “ You really receive no sense of instruction , huh ? ”
Me : “ Now , where did that come from ? ”
What do you name an elephant that doesn ’ t thing ? An irrelephant .
What act the grape act when he got abuse on ? He get out a short wine .
I employ to play piano by ear , but today I use my hand .
Why make the golfer bring an excess shoe ? In case he become a hole in one .
What serve you call a deer with no middle ? No eye deer .
When my wife suppose to stop acting like a flamingo , I knew it was time to invest my foot down .
When driving past a cemetery , I turned to my kid and state , “ See that fence ? Masses equal dying to make in there . ”
What ‘s the difference between a well-dressed human on a bicycle and a ill dressed man on a unicycle ? Attire .
Boss say he ‘ll fire the employee with the worst posture . I ‘ve a hunch it might be me .
What do you call a dog that can do magic tricks ? A labracadabrador .
Why do n’t skeletons ever run trick or treating ? Because they own no torso to live with .
Celebrity Dad Jokes that Are Actually Funny
Knock Knock
Who ’ s thither ?
Jalapeño .
Jalapeño who ?
Jalapeño occupation !
~Chris Pratt
What ‘s the serious social medium snack ? Insta-Graham crackers !
~Tracy Morgan
What do mermaids wash their fins with ? Tide .
~Will Ferrell
No matter which kid ledger I record to my screaming baby on an plane , the lesson of the story equal always something about a vasectomy .
~Ryan Reynolds
Make n’t order anyone but I make n’t like help my child with their homework . I operate thus hard to get out of school . I do n’t require to cause it again !
~Judd Apatow
Lift kid may be a thankless job with ridiculous hour , but at least the pay sucks .
~Jim Gaffigan
Did you know in King Arthur ‘s time , one of the knight of the round table accumulate tax ? His name equal Sir Charge .
~Mark Wahlberg
What did the fried rice say to the shrimp ? Do n’t wok off from me .
~Will Ferrell
What make you name individual who refuse to fart in public ? A private tutor .
~Timmy O’Neill
Every time my father shaved his beard , it was the only time we hear him face vulnerable .
~ Adam Sandler
Why was the soldier in the toilet ? Because he felt the cry of dooty .
~Ryan Reynolds
Why could n’t a computer dance ? He had no algo-rhythm .
~Lil Rel Howry
Why behave the ventriloquist go live with his dad ? Cause mamma act n’t erect no dummy !
~John Cena
What cause the turtle do when he ran out of gas ? He go to the shell station .
~Josef Newgarden
Why could n’t the toilet paper traverse the street ? It begin puzzle in a crack .
~Jimmy Chen
I used to hate facial hair …. but then it arise on me .
~Paul Felder
What did Buzz Aldrin say about exist the second soul on the moon ? Neil before me .
~Drew Powell
And at last , a little shout out ( for myself generally ) :
What make you call anyone who uses these jokes but be n’t a papa ? A faux papa .
Laugh Yet ?
When I told my friends I exist writing about this , it took less that five minutes before my inbox was chiming with a groan-worthy parade of bad dad jokes . I hope they ‘ve lend a grin to your face , just like they did me . And if you ‘re in for more laughter and have some dad joke of your own , neglect us a note , and you might simply find them featured here !
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