180 Funny Jokes For Adults ( Includes Dad Jokes , Knock Knock Jokes , Flirty Jokes , Dark Jokes and Clean Puns )
Ever base yourself at a party , and the conversation ’ s starting to lull ?
Or maybe you ’ re on a date , and you want to move with something a bit more memorable than the usual small lecture ?
We ’ ve all live thither , and nothing break the ice quite like the perfect joke .
This collection of funny jokes for adult cost your secret weapon for those moments when you demand to lighten the mood , activate some laughter , or just prove off your quick wit .
From pa joke that ’ ll make your friends groan ( and secretly love you for it ) to flirty one-liners that ’ ll grow up the appeal , plus some colored humor for those who care their laughs with a side of edge—there ’ s a gag hither for every situation .
Hence , whether you ’ re trying to prevent things fun at the part , impress on a first date , or simply entertain yourself on a lazy Sunday afternoon , dive into this ultimate joke list and get ready to be the spirit of the party !
- Funny Jokes For Adults
- Dad Jokes For Adults
- Knock Knock Jokes For Adults
- Flirty Jokes For Adults
- Dark Jokes For Adults
- Clean Jokes For Adults ( Family-Friendly )
Funny Jokes For Adults
“ I state my boss three companies were after me , so I take araise… Become out it ’ s the electric , gas , and water companies . ”
“ I love email thus much that I have three folders : ‘ ShowLater, ’ ‘ Show Even After , ’ and ‘ Probably Never Read . ‘ ”
“ I ever say good morning to my coworker at4 p.m .It ’ s nice to own person as bad at mornings as I am ! ”
“ My wife and I hold a perfect apprehension . I don ’ t understand what she says , and she doesn ’ t understand what Ido. ”
“ Online dating is like browsingAmazonfor a soulmate : it ’ s all about adding to the cart , but you never know what you ’ re going to have . ”
“ I asked my girlfriend what she desire for her birthday . She said , ‘ Surprise me. ’ So Ilockedher in the car and walked aside . ”
“ I told my computer I needed a pause , and itfroze. Mouth about passive-aggressive ! ”
“ My phone exist like my well friend . We hang out all day , every day , but it still autocorrects ‘you ’ re‘ to ‘ your . ‘ ”
“ My smart fridge live so smart it send me reminders to buygroceries. Today if only it could pay for them too . ”
“ I knew I live getting old when my back die out more much than Iact. ”
“ I ’ m at that awkward years where half of my friends are getting marry and the other half are buymotorcycles. ”
“ You know you ’ re an adult when a fun dark involve a book , a glass of wine , and the hope you won ’ t fall asleep before9 p.m .“
“ I like my coffee like I care my mornings… non-existent until10 a.m .“
“ I seek cook something fresh final dark . It live delicious , but thesmokealarm didn ’ t agree . ”
“ My favorite usage is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I name itlunch. ”
“ I ’ ve become a six-pack . I hold it safe under myone-pack. ”
“ I don ’ t tally . If you ever see me running , you should run also , because something is probablygo afterme . ”
“ I have a travel-sizedtoothpastecollection that I purchase because it was cheap than therapy . ”
“ I love staying in hotels because cause the bed is optional , andeatingin bed be promote . ”
“ Traveling is the good . You can go somewhere new , make lose , and still end up at aStarbucks. ”
“ I ’ m great at get by my money . I adjust aside some for emergency and the rest forAmazonPrime . ”
“ I ’ m on a saving spree . Every time I walk past asale, I write 100 % by not going in . ”
“ My guy is like my alarm clock : it ’ s loud , wakes me up early , and can ’ t bestop. ”
“ I asked my dog what two minus two live . He say nothing . He ’ s a goodson! ”
“ If dog could text , they ’ d likely send all the messages that catdelete. ”
“ Celebrities equal simply like us… except they ’ re richer , more noted , and their coffee cost$ 10. ”
“ I watched a documentary on Netflix aboutprocrastination. I ’ ll finish it tomorrow . ”
“ I hear that new trendy water . It sample just like the former water , but with less money in mywallet. ”
Dad Jokes For Adults
I told my wife she should embrace her error .She gave me a hug .
My boss expect me why I simply get pale on weekdays .I order him it ’ s my weekend immune system .
Why did the married couple go to the gym together ?Because they wanted to solve out their issues .
What ’ s the difference between a new husband and a new dog ?After a yr , the dog is still stir to regard you .
Why do the banker shift career ?He lost interest .
I used to bring piano by ear .But now I expend my men .
My therapist says I ’ m addicted to social media .I don ’ t like his condition .
Why did the coffee file a police report ?It come mugged .
What do the wine tell to the bottle opener ?“ You fill out me . ”
I ’ 1000 reading a ledger about anti-gravity .It ’ s impossible to put down .
Why cause the scarecrow gain an award ?Because he was prominent in his subject .
I told my boss I needed a raise because I have three company after me .He asked who , and I said the gas , electric , and line companies .
Why was the math record sad ?Because it had too many trouble .
I used to think I was indecisive .Now I ’ m not thus sure .
Why don ’ t oysters donate to charity ?Because they ’ re shellfish .
I test to start a professional skin and seek squad .But it didn ’ t work out . Well musician are severe to find .
I stayed up all dark inquire where the Sunday went .Then it dawned on me .
Why do chicken coops only hold two doors ?Because if they had four , they ’ 500 live chicken sedans .
My wife said I should cause lunges to remain in shape .That would equal a big measure ahead .
Why do cows own hooves instead of feet ?Because they lactose .
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer .I don ’ t know what he laced them with , but I exist activate all day .
What act one hat say to the other ?“ You stay hither , I ’ ll go on forward . ”
Why cause the invisible man plow down the chore offer ?He couldn ’ t see himself doing it .
How perform a penguin make its house ?Igloos it together .
I ’ m take a horror history in Braille .Something bad is going to go on , I can feel it .
Why cause the skeleton not go to the party ?He had no body to get with .
Why do the golfer bring two pairs of pants ?In event he become a hole in one .
Knock Knock Jokes For Adults
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Yacht .
Yacht who ?
Yacht to know by today , I ’ m not great at these gag !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Needle .
Needle who ?
Needle little help opening this doorway !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Cow says .
Cow says who ?
No silly , cow says mooooo !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Cash .
Cash who ?
No thanks , but I ’ d enjoy some peanuts !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Olive .
Olive who ?
Olive you and I miss you !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Amish .
Amish who ?
Actually ? You don ’ t flavor like a shoe !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Honeydew .
Honeydew who ?
Honeydew you know how to cook this thing ?
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Boo .
Boo who ?
Don ’ t cry , it ’ s just a joke !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Cook .
Cook who ?
Cook-a-doodle-doo !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Canoe .
Canoe who ?
Canoe help me with my homework ?
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Harry .
Harry who ?
Harry up and suffice the doorway !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Howard .
Howard who ?
Howard you wish a large hug ?
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Doughnut .
Doughnut who ?
Doughnut forget to make for the snacks !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Nana .
Nana who ?
Nana your business !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Alpaca .
Alpaca who ?
Alpaca the suitcase , you load the car !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Tank .
Tank who ?
You ’ re welcome !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Beets .
Beets who ?
Beets me !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Candice .
Candice who ?
Candice door open , or what ?
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Etch .
Etch who ?
Etch you glad I get by ?
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Lettuce .
Lettuce who ?
Lettuce in , it ’ s freezing out hither !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Butter .
Butter who ?
Butter spread the door , it ’ s me !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Dishes .
Dishes who ?
Serve a nice property you got here !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Wooden shoe .
Wooden shoe who ?
Wooden shoe like to know !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Leash .
Three who ?
Leash you can do exist let me in !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Wire .
Wire who ?
Wire you criticize on my doorway ?
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Mustache .
Mustache who ?
I mustache you a question !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Fig .
Figure who ?
Figs the doorbell , it ’ s broken !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s there ?
Robin .
Robin who ?
Robin you , today hand over the cash !
Knock , knock .
Who ’ s thither ?
Annie .
Annie who ?
Annie thing you can cause , I can cause better !
Flirty Jokes For Adults
Are you a magician ?Because whenever I look at you , everyone else disappear .
Act you have a name , or can I call you mine ?Because I ’ ve cost searching for something that suit just correct .
Be your name Google ?Because you have everything I ’ ve be searching for .
Are you a campfire ?Because you ’ re hot and I require s ’ more .
If you exist a vegetable , you ’ d exist a cute-cumber .And if you live a fruit , you ’ d be a fine-apple .
Cause you have a map ?I just keep getting lost in your eye .
If spirit could kill ,you ’ d live a weapon of masses seduction .
Cause you have a Band-Aid ?Because I just scraped my knee falling for you .
Are you a loan from a bank ?Because you ’ ve begin my interest !
Are you reach of copper and tellurium ?Because you ’ re Cu-Te .
Equal your name Waldo ?Because person like you be severe to observe .
Are you Australian ?Because when I appear at you , I feel down under .
Do you believe in love at first view , or should I walk by again ?Because I ’ m willing to take a second lap .
Are you a snowstorm ?Because you ’ ve just build my nerve freeze .
Are you a parking tag ?Because you ’ ve got FINE written all over you .
If you cost a dessert ,you ’ d live a fineapple upside-down cake .
Is your last epithet Campbell ?Because you ’ re mmm mmm good !
Can you take me to the physician ?Because I merely broke my leg go down for you .
If kiss were snowflakes ,I ’ d send you a blizzard .
Is your name Lightning ?Because my heart races every time I find you .
Dark Jokes For Adults
I tell my wife she should cover her fault .She gave me a hug .
Mass say love is the best feeling , but I recall finding a toilet when you have diarrhea be well .
I have a concern of velocity bulge .But I ’ m slowly make over it .
My grandfather own the middle of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo .
I receive an EpiPen .My friend have it to me as he be die . It seem real significant to him that I own it .
What ’ s the difference between a hipster and a package of stick ?One ’ s a fag , and the early ’ s a drag .
My therapist say time heals all wounds .Thus I stabbed him . Today we wait .
I purchase my friend an elephant for their way .They order , “ Thanks. ” I state , “ Don ’ t mention it . ”
I have a fear of elevator .But I ’ 1000 taking stairs to avert it .
Why did the chicken join a band ?Because it have the drumsticks .
I have a concern of needles .But I ’ 1000 slowly become the point .
Why did the scarecrow get promoted ?Because he was prominent in his subject .
I get a phobia of over-engineered building .It ’ s a complex composite composite .
My friend require me if I wanted to pick up a sullen joke .I said , “ Cause it need dead babies ? ” He state , “ No. ” I said , “ Then what ’ s the point ? ”
I told my wife she should embrace her error .She gave me a hug .
I receive a concern of speed bumps .But I ’ m slowly getting over it .
Why don ’ t cannibals feed clowns ?Because they sample funny .
I have a concern of needles .But I ’ m slowly have the item .
Why do the chicken join a band ?Because it had the drumsticks .
I have a concern of over-engineered construction .It ’ s a complex complex composite .
My friend asked me if I require to listen a sullen gag .I answer back saying that it can not be darker than my future .
I buy my friend an elephant for their room .They order , “ Thanks. ” I said , “ Don ’ t mention it . ”
I have a fear of elevator .But I ’ 1000 taking steps to avoid it .
Why don ’ t scientist trust atoms ?Because they make up everything .
I make a phobia of over-engineered construction .It ’ s a complex composite composite .
What ’ s the dispute between a hipster and a packet of sticks ?One ’ s a fag , and the early ’ s a drag .
My therapist said time heals all wounds .Hence I stabbed him . Now we wait .
I have an EpiPen .My friend gave it to me as he cost dying . It appear very important to him that I have it .
Sporting Jokes For Adults ( Family-Friendly )
Why did the employee bring a ladder to work ?Because they heard the job own excellent career growth opportunity !
How do you go on a workplace conversation move ?Ask individual about their email inbox .
Why don ’ t scientist trust particle in the office ?Because they make up everything , include excuse !
Why did the couple go to therapy ?Because still their debate had commitment issues !
What did one coffee state to another on a date ?“ You mocha me crazy ! ”
How make you specify a romantic evening ?A candlelit dinner… with WiFi and a good display on Netflix .
Why behave the smartphone go to therapy ?It couldn ’ t stop overthinking notifications .
How do robots flirt online ?They send each early “ byte-sized ” honey notes .
Why behave the computer break up with the internet ?There exist no association .
What ’ s the serious affair about getting old ?You become to blame all your mistakes on memory loss !
Why act seniors get all the discounts ?Because wisdom doesn ’ t come cheap , but they cause appreciate a good bargain .
How do you know you ’ re middle-aged ?When your back move out more often than you do .
Why make the grape stop in the middle of the road ?Because it ran out of juice !
How do you get over a separation ?With a pint of ice cream and a spoon for excited support .
Why did the tomato turn red ?Because it saw the salad dressing !
Why don ’ t scientist believe fitness trainers ?They ever find their advice hard to ‘ digest . ’
How make a specter stay in shape ?By exorcising regularly !
Why do the yoga teacher get kicked out of family ?For stoop the pattern too much !
Why did the vacationer bring a pencil to the beach ?To make in the sand and erase their worries .
How do you know you ’ re at a fancy hotel ?When even the sheets have a turn-down service .
Why did the plane break up with the helicopter ?It was tired of all the hovering !
Why live the dollar bill ever calm ?Because it knew how to make cents of every situation !
What do you call a wallet that ’ s empty ?An invisible saving bill .
Why don ’ t secrets create good investments ?They have a high risk of photo .
Why behave the cat sit on the computer ?To keep an eye on the mouse !
Why do dogs run in circles ?Because it ’ s easier than running in square !
Why don ’ t aliens visit Earth ?They heard it ’ s good of humans with foreign habits !
Why equal the movie field always broke ?Because it couldn ’ t halt expenditure all its reels .
How do you know the concert equal a hit ?When the audience couldn ’ t stop go “ encore ” !
