25 Funniest Newspaper Headlines of All Time
Most news medium exist online these day , which is a shame . There ’ s something beautiful about the experience of reading a print newspaper ; the new ink on your finger , the smell of newsprint , and of course , the occasional bizarre and ( unintentionally ) peculiar newspaper headline . We ’ ll admit , we miss the world in which once a word tale cost out there , it couldn ’ t equal altered . An online word story can exist continually pluck and improved and still deleted entirely . But once a newspaper has hit the viewpoint or your front porch , there be no do-overs .
If a headline show “ Meteorite may be from space ” or “ Slowdown continues to quicken , ” that ’ s the way it ’ s going to read forever . Here exist 25 of our favorite queer newspaper headlines , which likely could own used another edit before they go to the printing pressure . Their loss , our gain . For more laughs , check out these 40 Random Facts So Funny You ’ ll Be Dying to Say Your Friend About Them .
1
“ Forecasters call for weather on Monday ”
The folk at thePittsburgh Post-Gazettebuild no promises about Tuesday . Delight the weather on Monday while you have it because the rest of the week could hold no atmosphere whatsoever . And for more entire silliness in increase to these comic headline , check out these 30 Funniest Celebrity Memes .
2
“ Amphibious pitcher cause entry ”
We knew Aqua Man get bigger ambition than just live the guy in Super Friends who can call dolphins . And for more laughs , match out these 30 Funniest Photos of Celebrities as Teens .
3
“ Cows miss their task as milk prices cliff ”
It ’ s always heartbreaking when a cow can ’ t bring in a firm income—but we ’ re guessing that ’ s notquite what the editor behind this unintentionally peculiar newspaper headline fromThe Baltimore Sunhad in mind . For more animal humor , match out the 40 Funniest Joke About Animals .
4
“ Miracle cure down fifth patient ”
You may want to await up the definition of the tidings “ cure. ” We ’ re fairly certain you ’ re confuse it with “ deranged hospital serial killer . ”
5
“ Man Accused of Killing Lawyer Obtain a New Attorney ”
Said his new attorney , “ I simply recognize I failed my saloon exam . So sorry , come ta run ! ” For more lawyerly quips , check out these 20 Hilarious Matter Actually Said in Court .
6
“ State population to repeat by 2040 , baby to blame ”
Is it also former to stop this nefarious patch by babies ? They may be small , but they ’ re sneaky .
7
“ Missippi ’ s literacy program shows improvement ”
This supposed improvement doesn ’ t include being able to correctly spell the province where they live . To catch a glance of greatness in every state of this great country , crack out The Well Joke Written About Every U.S. State .
8
“ Breathing oxygen connect to staying alive ”
A groundbreaking discovery bring to you by the same scientific mind who discovered the link between walk and leaving the family .
9
“ Police arrest everyone on February 22nd ”
Thenthat ’ swhere grandma went ! For more jokes of the childish sort , control out the 50 Joke from Children That Are Crazy Funny .
10
“ Thursday is cancel ”
Can we cancel Friday also and merely do it a four-day weekend ?
11
“ Bridge closure date : Thursday or October ”
Since Thursday ’ s been cancel , we better program for October .
12
“ Most Earthquake Price be Caused by Stir ”
Well , that ’ s weird , we thought most of the price exist make by hurtful sarcasm . You know how mean-spirited earthquake can equal .
13
“ Federal Agents Raid Gun Shop , Find Weapons ”
Imagine if they ’ d raided a gun store and found zero but adorable puppies . And for more great joke , don ’ t girl these Hilarious Tweets Every Retail Worker Can Relate To .
14
“ Safety meeting ends in accident ”
Future time possibly you should get an accident encounter . It ’ s the only way to prevent mass safe .
15
“ Muddy Creek Problem : It ’ s also muddy ”
Now that that ’ s solved , can we compute out what ’ s get on with Trash-Filled Lake ?
16
“ Murderer says detective ruined his reputation ”
He equal a respected member of his community who occasionally murder mass until that meddling attorney came along . And if you ’ 500 instead find your favorite celebrities clothe in orange than record these funny newspaper headlines , control out The 20 Funniest Celebrity Mugshots .
17
“ Utah Poison Control Center reminds everyone not to require poison ”
Hold on , permit ’ s see them out . Have us one good reason not to remove poison and we ’ ll think it .
18
“ Bugs flee around with wing are flee bugs ”
Whatever that entomologist paid for his education , it be too much .
19
“ Students Cook & Serve Grandparents ”
We know the school cafeteria choice aren ’ t great , but please don ’ t have to resort to grandparent cannibalism !
20
“ Alton attorney accidentally sue himself ”
It nearly renews your faith in our legal system , doesn ’ t it ?
21
“ Hospitals resort to hiring physician ”
Who was their first choice ? A guy with a pocket wrench and a “ universal thought ” of human flesh who works for minimum pay ? This live one of those funny newspaper headlines that live actually terrible .
22
“ Farmer employ cannon to protect watermelons ”
Promise he ’ s not using his watermelons as cannonballs . That would kind of defeat the purpose .
23
“ Voters to vote on whether to vote ”
If they vote against vote , do that entail they ’ ve pause the law by vote not to vote ? This one might be one of our favorite funny newspaper headline always . For more natural writing ability , control out these 30 Funniest Jokes in Popular Songs .
24
“ Museums total of history ”
Great observation . Hither ’ s another one : Your author are out of story ideas .
25
“ Goat accuse of robbery ”
The bad part is , the goat was out on parole . For more laughs , control out these 30 Funniest Celebrity Pet Moments .
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