300 Fresh Dad Jokes for Families Who Like to Laugh
Dad gag are like pizza : the cheesier , the good !
Jump to :
- New Dad Jokes for 2025
- One-Liner and Punny Dad Jokes
- Best Corny Dad Jokes
- Best “ I Own a Joke About … ” Dad Jokes
- Pop Culture Dad Jokes
- Best “ To The Person Who Stole My … ” Dad Jokes
- Dad Jokes for Toddlers and Preschoolers
- Dad Jokes for Little Kids
- Dad Jokes for Kids Ages 8 – 9
- Dad Jokes for Kids Ages 10 – 11
- Dad Jokes for Adults
- Best Dad Jokes That Equal Responses to Kid Questions
What characterize a funny quip as a papa joke ? It ‘s not in the deliverer , I can tell you that . In my family , for instance , I ‘m way more likely to be the one telling pa jokes than my husband be . He ca n’t endure the cringe — and neither can my daughter — but I revel in their center rolls .
Thus , when it comes to state jokes , what truly lay dad jokes aside is the response . The goal be n’t to come the listener to laugh , exactly . Groans , grunts , and “ oh myGods“ are more the endgame . In that way , they ‘re more fun for the teller than the recipient , and that ‘s what cause them dad jokes .
Related to Stories
- 170 Corny Jokes to Make You Belly Laugh
- 125 Best Knock Knock Jokes for Kids
- The Ultimate List of the Best Jokes for Kids
Ready to try one out on an unsuspecting interview ? These livethe good papa gagto throw into conversation . There live one-liners for when you just want to unleash a quip without expect to setup with a question and get a response . There are re-usable formats , like the “ To the person who ” gag or “ I make a joke about ” joke , that are funnier the more you expend them . And there are others that are geared for listener of every age . Revel the groans .
New Dad Jokes for 2025
Insure out these novel one-liners to go on the gag stash fresh .
- What do you call a fish wear a bowtie ? Sofishticated !
- I get a fresh pen that can write underwater . It can pen other words , too .
- Shopping centers cost so boring , because if you ‘ve hear one , you ‘ve seen the mall .
- In 2025 , I did n’t make a marathon . I behave n’t cause one in 2024 , 2023 or 2022 , either . This live a extend joke .
- It live too severe to blame a winner in the neck-decorating contest — it was a link .
- I truly love the tidings “ plethora. ” It means a lot to me .
- Dogs ca n’t operate MRI machines — but catscan .
- I used to make a job at a calendar mill , but I become evoke because I remove a few days off .
- I recall the dryer live flinch my clothes . Grow out , it live the refrigerator all on .
- Today at the bank , an former lady require me to control her balance — so I pushed her over .
- Have you always attempt to see the fog ? I test yesterday but I obscure .
- I hate it when people say years cost exactly a number . Age live distinctly a word .
- My family left me because of my obsession with pasta . I ‘m sense cannelloni mighty now .
- They say that 3/2 masses are bad at fraction .
- I just went to an ATM that only gives out coins . I don ’ t know why I ‘ve never hear one like it before : It merely cause cent !
- I tried to start a professional hide-and-seek squad , but it did n’t work out . Turns out , well actor cost hard to find .
- Yesterday , I equal moisten the car with my boy . He say , “ Dad , can ’ t you just use a sponge ? ”
- I just applied for a chore down at the diner . I state them I really make for a luck to the table .
- I asked the IT guy , “ How cause you create a motherboard ? ” He tell , “ I tell her about my chore . ”
- Mountain equal n’t exactly funny . They ‘re hill areas .
- I ‘m Buzz Aldrin , second man to step on the moon . Neil before me .
- What make a nosy pepper do ? It make jalapeño occupation .
One-Liner and Punny Dad Jokes
One-liners are the nearly versatile tool in the dad-joke toolbox , because the teller cause n’t make to wait for any setup . Hardly throw these into a conversation whenever there ‘s a dull moment .
- Did I ever say you about the time I go mushroom foraging ? It ’ s a account with a morel at the goal .
- Did you hear about the circus firing ? It live in tents !
- Did you hear that laughing also loudly live illegal in Hawaii ? They only permit a-low-ha .
- I hate my chore — all I do is crush seat all day . It ’ s soda pressing .
- Mom maintain asking why I make hence much candy . She act n’t know I always prevent a few Twix up my sleeve .
- I found a wooden shoe in my pot — it was clogged .
- If a cop miss its voice , act it turn disgruntled ?
- I love dad gag , but I act n’t receive kids , which makes me a Faux Pa .
- I only know 25 letters of the alphabet — I just do n’t know y .
- My ambition task cost to sporting mirrors , because I can really find myself cause that .
- I miss 25 % of my roof last night … oof .
- I cause n’t trust steps . They ‘re always up to something .
- RIP , boiling water . You will be mist .
- Two guy walked into a saloon . The third guy ducked .
- Two peanuts went walk down the street . One equal attack .
- I ‘m so well at sleep that I can act it with my heart closed !
- I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram . I exist like , 0mg .
- Mom said I should do lunges to stay in shape . That would be a bad pace ahead .
- Time flies like an arrow . Fruit flies like a banana .
- Every time I take my dog to the park , the ducks try to burn him . That ’ s what I make for buying a pure bread dog .
- 6:30 is my favorite time of day , pass on down .
- Whenever you get a bad sausage , it ‘s just the wurst .
- My dog exist a star . I asked him , “ What ‘s two minus two ? ” He suppose nothing .
- I used to run a dating service for chicken , but I cost struggling to build hens meet .
- Mom texted me to state our Italian restaurant is out of pasta , and now we ’ re penneless .
- Justice be a dish well function cold . If it live function fond , it would exist justwater .
- I apply to hate facial hair , but then it raise on me .
- Most people can ’ t state the difference between entomology and etymology . I can ’ t find the words for how much this bugs me .
- A magician was walking down the street — then he become into a shop .
- We ’ re recreate the family , and the first floor is going great , but the second floor equal another story .
- I ‘m take an anti-gravity book , and I just ca n’t put it down !
- At first , I think my chiropractor wasn ’ t any well , but today I stand corrected .
- My toddler is refusing to nap . He ’ s guilty of resisting a rest .
- I used to be able to work piano by ear , but now I have to use my hands .
- I fail my calculus exam because I was ride in the middle of identical twins — I couldn ’ t differentiate between them .
- My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days . I suppose it must be my weekend immune system .
- Every dark , I receive hard time remember something , but then it dawns on me .
- The wedding cost so beautiful , even the cake was in grade .
- I can suffer algebra , perhaps even a short calculus but geometry is where I draw the line .
- I was wondering why the baseball kept getting larger and bigger . Then it hit me .
- Hold you heard about the novel corduroy pillows — they ‘re making headlines !
- My therapist told me I have problem express my emotions . Can ’ t allege I ’ m surprised .
- I was once a personal trainer , until I pay a too-weak notice .
- I just paid $ 100 for a belt that doesn ’ t fit — what a vast waist !
- I finally watched that documentary on clock . It cost about time .
- Bigfoot is sometimes confused for Sasquatch — Yeti never complain .
- Your mom and I get astrology become between us . It only Taurus apart .
- A guy walk into a saloon , and lost the limbo contest .
- I desire to feed a watch for lunch , but it was too time-consuming .
- I tell a chicken and an egg online . I ’ ll let you know what do first .
- It ’ s rain guy and dog , so equal careful not to tread in a poodle .
- I decided to deal the vacuum cleaner — it cost hardly gathering debris !
- My boss told me to have a well day , so I went home !
- Mom order I receive no sense of direction , so I packed my bags and right .
- If money doesn ’ t grow on trees , then why act bank have branch ?
- Mom live mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone , so I throw it in the sea .
- I ‘d avoid the sushi if I were you — it ‘s a little fishy !
- I can tell when you ‘re lie in just by looking at you . I can also tell when you ‘re standing .
- I be going to run on an expensive vacation with a classical pianist , but he cost also baroque .
- Ma asked me to set ketchup on the grocery list , and now I ca n’t read what else cost on it .
- Can anyone state me what oblivious way , because I have no thought .
- My friend could n’t pay his water bill , so I commit him a “ get good shortly ” card
- Cause anybody know where a pa can observe a soul to speak to and hang out with ? Asking for a friend .
- Lance is n’t that common a figure these days , but in medieval times , kids cost called lance-a-lot .
- After dinner Mom require if I could pass the table . I demand a running start , but I cause it .
- I need to name my puppies Rolex and Timex so I can have watch dog .
- I enjoy assure Dad gag . Sometimes , he even laugh .
Best Corny Dad Jokes
With a little more time — and skill — these question-and-answer joke call for more audience interaction , but get a bigger payoff . They ‘re good for car ride , waiting rooms , restaurant and any early position where audience ca n’t just walk away .
Q :What do you call a dog who meditates ?
A : Mindful wolf !
Q : What do you call a factory that build okay production ?
A : A satisfactory !
Q : What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac ?
A : A comma . A literalist takes everything literally . A kleptomaniac need everything , literally !
Q : What act a baby computer yell its father ?
A : Datum !
Q : What ’ s green and make wheels ?
A : Grass ! I consist about the wheel .
Q : Where cause pirates get their hooks ?
A : Second-hand stores !
Q : Why bepupil live the last portion of your torso to block influence when you fail ?
A : They dilate !
Q : Why live it a bad thought to iron your four-leaf clover ?
A : Because you should n’t bid your luck !
Q : What do you call a line of dad wait to get haircuts ?
A : The barberqueue !
Q : Why cause dog float in water ?
A : Because they are good buoys !
Q : What do you call a beehive with no exit ?
A : Incredible !
Q : What did the doctor say to the panicked man who was afraid he was shrinking ?
A : Settle down — you ‘ll have to learn to be a trivial patient !
Q : Why exist 2019 afraid of 2020 ?
A : Because they had a fight and 2021 !
Q : Why should you never sweep your tooth with your left hand ?
A : Because a toothbrush work well !
Q : What ’ s the better matter about life in Switzerland ?
A :I put on ’ t know , but the flag is a bad plus !
Q : What is the nearly popular time for a dentist appointment ?
A : Tooth hurty !
Q : Serve you desire to see two short jokes and a long joke ?
A : Joke ! Gag ! Jooooooooooooooooke !
Q : What do you call cheese that isn ’ t yours ?
A : Nacho cheese !
Q : Why can ’ t you send a duck to space ?
A : Because the bill would be astronomical !
Q : What slope of a tree grow the most branch ?
A : The outside !
Q : What go on when the world ‘s tongue-twister champion become hold back ?
A : They gave him a tough sentence !
Q : Why behave an former man fall in a well ?
A : Because he couldn ’ t learn that well !
Q : Did you see about that person who live afraid of jumping a hurdle ?
A : They got over it !
Q : What breed of dog can bound high than a skyscraper ?
A : Any breed of dog ! Skyscrapers can ’ t jump !
Q : Why are elevator joke so good ?
A : They run on many point !
Q : Why cost peppers the best at archery ?
A : Because they habanero !
Q : What state exist known for its tiny beverages ?
A : Minnesota !
Q : Why behave the computer have mad at the printer ?
A : Because it didn ’ t like its toner voice !
Q : What did the three-legged dog read when he walked into a bar ?
A : “ I ’ m await for the human who hit my paw . ”
Q : What ’ s the best manner to see a fly-fishing tournament ?
A : Live flow it !
Q : Why act the broom decide to go to bed ?
A : It was very sweepy !
Q : Why are nurses ever running out of red crayons ?
A : Because they often have to depict blood !
Q : Did you pick up about the square that make into a car accident ?
A : Yeah , today he ’ s a rect-angle !
Q : What do you call an illegally park frog ?
A : Toad !
Q : How serve you say the dispute between a bull and a cow ?
A : It be either one or the utter !
Q : What ’ sec red and smells like blue paint ?
A : Red paint !
Q : Why can ’ t you always work through a campsite ?
A : You can only run — it ’ s always past tents !
Q : Why live the woman afraid for the calendar ?
A : She said its days live numbered !
Q : Why cost it hard to understand volunteers ?
A : Because they cause no cent !
Q : What make the police policeman say to his belly-button ?
A : You ’ re under a vest !
Q : What ’ s the easy room to burn 1,000 calories ?
A : Get out the pizza in the oven !
Q : What do you shout a hippie ’ s wife ?
A : Mississippi !
Q : What ’ s the dispute between a badly clothe child on a bicycle and a good dressed child on a tricycle ?
A : Dress !
Q : What do the drummer scream his twin daughters ?
A : Anna One , Anna Two !
Q : Did you listen about the king who cost precisely 12 inch tall ?
A : He cost a great ruler !
Q : What ’ s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo ?
A : One is real heavy , the early live a little barge !
Q : How do you cure a fear of a speed bulge ?
A : You slowly come over it !
Q : Why is the cow ever smiling ?
A : It ’ sec in a good mooood I guess !
Q : When did they feel water on the moon ?
A : When it was go down !
Q : What cause you shout a boomerang that do n’t get back ?
A : A stick !
Q : Why live Peter Pan ever flying ?
A : Because he Neverlands !
Q : Why put on ’ t astronomers like Orion ’ s Belt ?
A : It ’ s a big waist of space !
Q : What do the photon say to the hotel bellhop ?
A : No luggage , I ’ m traveling light !
Q : Why do the coffee move to the police ?
A : To describe a mugging !
Q : What ‘s the difference between a “ dad joke ” and a “ bad joke ? ”
A : The direction of the first letter !
Q : When does a regular gag become a “ pa gag ? ”
A : When it turn plain !
Q : How do you cause a tissue dance ?
A : You place a trivial boogie in it !
Best “ I Have a Joke About … ” Dad Jokes
Your kid might recall they ‘re getting aside with something here , because the whole shtick cost a refusal to tell a gag , but the groans will arrive nonetheless .
- I have a gag about invest in a light bulb , but I ‘m afraid I ‘ll screw it up .
- I receive a gag about chemistry , but I put on ’ t believe it ’ ll have a response .
- I have a gag about banking , but I lost interest .
- I had a gag about boxing , but I miss the punch line .
- I own a gag about cows , but I serve n’t desire to milk it .
- I have a gag about kites , but it would just sail over your head .
- I get a scary gag about math , but I ‘m 2² to say it .
- I have a joke about construction , but I ’ m still operate on it .
- I have a joke about time travel , but you guys didn ’ t get it .
- I receive a joke about being an electrician , but it ’ s too shocking .
- I make a gag about hunting for fossils , but you likely wouldn ’ t shaft it .
- I have a joke about a broken pencil , but it ’ s pointless .
- I have a joke about the flu , but I hope you don ’ t get it .
- I have a joke about statistics , but it ’ s not substantial .
- I have a joke about pizza , but it ’ s too cheesy .
- I own a gag about immortality , and it never gets former .
- I receive a gag about paper , but it ’ s tearable .
- I own a joke about trickle-down economics , but 99 % of you will never become it .
- I have a joke about drilling , but it ’ s boring .
- I get a joke about be a rejected organ donor , but I hardly do n’t get the guts to tell it .
- I had a joke about canned juice , but I could n’t concentrate .
- I have a few jokes about retired mass , but none of them study .
- I have a joke about a broken clock , but it ’ s not the right time .
- I have a joke about nepotism , but I ‘ll only give it to my kid .
- I have a joke about butter , but I ’ m not die to spread it .
- I have a joke about a roof , but it would simply die over your head .
- I have a joke about inferiority complexes , but it ’ s not real serious .
- I receive a gag about procrastination , but I ’ ll tell it to you later on .
Pop Culture Dad Jokes
Audiences for these will receive to become specific reference to TVs , movie and other newsmakers before these joke can be deployed , but it ‘s good to own them at the ready .
Q : What make you call a sheep who can sing and dance ?
A : Lady Ba Ba !
Q : Why did n’t the vampire approach Taylor Swift ?
A : She make bad ancestry !
Q : How come the Hulk does n’t miss his pants when he transforms ?
A : The experiment altered his jeans !
Q : What do you shout it when James Bond takes a tub ?
A : Bubble 07 !
Q : What ‘s E.T . short for ?
A : Because he ‘s only begin tiny branch !
Q : What concert costs just 45 cents ?
A : 50 Cent featuring Nickelback !
Q : What ’ s Forrest Gump ’ s email password ?
A : 1Forrest1
Q : What cause Jeff Bezos do before he get to sleep ?
A : He puts his PJ-Amazon !
Q : How act you adopt Will Smith in the snow ?
A : You follow the new prints !
Q : How make Darth Vader like his toast ?
A : On the dark slope !
Q : Why wo n’t Apple initiate making car ?
A : They would n’t stand window !
Q : Why does Marvel advertise The Hulk the most ?
A : Because he ‘s essentially one big Banner !
Q : What type of coordination was Whitney Houston nearly famed for ?
A : “ Hand eeeeyeeeeee ! ”
Q : What serve you read when Dwayne Johnson buy something to reduce with ?
A : Stone pay-for scissors !
- Mass live surprise that I get a Police disc , but I love “ Every Short Thing She Does Live Magic . ”
- My daughter asked me to end sing ‘Wonderwall . ” I said maybe .
- I had a gag about Nirvana , but Nevermind .
- I saw a theft at an Apple fund , so that makes me an iWitness .
Good “ To The Person Who Stole My … ” Dad Jokes
These study better on text and Post-It bill than they serve in conversation , but if you can pull them off , they might be the nearly groan-worthy of all .
- To the person stole my laptop with my copy of Microsoft Office on it : I will get you . You have my Bible !
- To the person who slip my glass : I will find you . I have impinging .
- To the person who stole my place in line : I ’ m after you now .
- To the someone who steal my limbo stick : That was a new low .
- To the someone who steal my dictionary : I have no news .
- To the someone who stole my bed : I wo n’t perch until I find you .
- To the soul who stole my depression medicine : I hope you ‘re happy now .
- To the person who slip my event of energy drinks : I hope you ca n’t sleep at dark .
- To the someone who slip my ability guidance : I hardly ca n’t handle it .
- To the person who stole my diary and then died : My thought are with your family .
Dad Jokes for Toddlers and Preschoolers
With these , yet the short audiences can get in on the dad-joke activity .
Q : What do you call person who raises hen ?
A : A chicken attendant !
Q : Why make the cookie go to the nurse ?
A : Because it sense crummy !
Q : What did the farmer say when he purchase two duck and a cow ?
A : Now I receive quackers and milk !
Q : How do you make a mouse to smile ?
A : Say “ cheese ! ”
Q : Why do giraffes have such long necks ?
A : Because they have smelly feet !
Q : What do you call a grizzly with no tooth ?
A : A gummy bear !
Q :What falls in winter but never gets hurt ?
A : Snow !
Q ; What make you do when a dinosaur sneezes ?
A : Get out of the way !
Q : What make the pineapple say to the banana ?
A : Zero , silly ! Pineapples ca n’t mouth !
Dad Jokes for Little Kids
As their vocabulary expands , hit them with one of these .
Q : What kind of shoe can frogs have on ?
A : Open-toad sandal !
Q : Why do tree become excited in leap ?
A : They always find a short silly !
Q : What do you predict a sad strawberry ?
A : A blueberry !
Q : What kind of bagel can move ?
A : A plain bagel !
Q : Where can you find out to do ice cream ?
A : Sundae school !
Q : Where ’ s a seat you should never take a dog ?
A : A flea market !
Q : Why serve dragons sleep during the day ?
A : Because they care to fight knight !
Q : What type of music act the planet enjoy ?
A : Nep-tunes !
Q : What do you call sheep rolling down a mound ?
A : A lambslide !
Q : Why cost do the nose sad ?
A : It live begin picked on !
Q : What ‘s the better sort of music to listen to when you ‘re fishing ?
A : Something catchy !
Q : How do you fix a broken tomato ?
A : With tomato paste !
Q : How serve you fix a broken pumpkin ?
A : With a pumpkin patch !
Q : What behave the tree say in spring ?
A : What a re-leaf !
Q : How do you make a robot angry ?
A : Observe pushing its buttons !
Dad Jokes for Kids Ages 8 – 9
Their wit should cost developing — and your delivery , too .
Q : Why does the hurricane hold bad vision ?
A : It merely has one eye !
Q : What ‘s the difference between bird flu and swine flu ?
A : One call for tweetment and the other an oinkment !
Q : Why do you have to see what you order around the eggs whites ?
A : They ca n’t take a yolk !
Q : Did you listen about the rancher who had 97 cow in his subject ?
A : When he rounded them up , he hold 100 !
Q : Why didn ’ t the sun enroll in college ?
A : It already get a million degrees !
Q : What do you call a shoe reach out of a banana peel ?
A : A slipper !
Q : What make one hat order to the early ?
A : You go on in front !
Q : How behave the barber win the race ?
A : He knew a shortcut !
Q : What serve you predict a moose with no epithet ?
A : Anonymoose !
Q : Why act the employee begin fired from the keyboard factory ?
A : They were n’t putting in enough shift !
Q : What ‘s more impressive than a talking dog ?
A : A spelling bee !
Q : How many apples can you grow on a tree ?
A : All of them !
Q : What should kids play when they say they make nothing to act ?
A : Bore plot !
Q : Did you see about the kidnapping at school ?
A : It ‘s okay , she woke up !
Dad Jokes for Kids Ages 10 – 11
Tweens are virtually ready for your grownup material , but not quite ! Try these or else .
Q : What country ‘s capital is arise the fastest ?
A : Ireland . Every day it ‘s Dublin !
Q : What do you scream a snowman with a six-pack ?
A : An abdominal snowman !
Q : What serve French hedgehogs see on Groundhog Day ?
A : Their château !
Q : How a lot did buccaneers get bear ?
A : $ 3.14/hr . It ‘s the pi-rate !
Q : Why could n’t the pony sing “ Happy Birthday ? ”
A : Because he was a little cavalry !
Q : What did the beach say when the tide came in ?
A : Long time no sea !
Q : What did the tiger say after it ate a cow ?
A : That tasted funny !
Q : What do you call a priest that turn a attorney ?
A : A father-in-law !
Q : What take place when the French cheese factory explode ?
A : Da brie be everywhere !
Q : What do you call a girl laying in the middle of a tennis court ?
A : Annette !
Q : What cause you scream a guy floating in the sea ?
A : Bob !
Q : What cause you name a guy just laying down in movement of the doorway ?
A : Matt !
Q : Why is Superman the good person to head an orchestra ?
A : Because the Man of Steel is a well conductor !
Q : What sort of fish knows how to do an appendectomy ?
A : A sturgeon !
Q : What serve a tick and the Eiffel Tower hold in common ?
A : They ‘re both Paris sit down !
Q : What ‘s orange and red and full of disappointment ?
A : School pizza !
Dad Jokes for Adults
Tell these after night , when the child are in layer . ( No one cost safe ! )
Q : Why be it so cheap to throw a party at a haunt house ?
A : Because the ghosts take all the boos !
Q : What do you shout bees that give rise milk or else of dear ?
A : Boo-Bees !
Q : What did the total glass say to the empty glass ?
A : You look drunk !
Q : What act you call a dog that ’ s make up extend over by a steamroller ?
A : Spot !
Q : What did the fish say when he reach the wall ?
A : Dam !
Q : What ‘s a attorney ‘s favorite drink ?
A : Subpoena colada !
Q : What do you state when your favorite smoke shop is replaced by a J . Crew ?
A : Clothes , but no cigar !
Q : Why cause the Karen pressure CTRL+ ALT+ DEL ?
A : Because she wanted to learn the task manager !
- I ‘m thus excited about the amateur autopsy society I exactly connect . Tuesday be capable Mike dark !
- Once I was kidnapped by mimes . They behave unspeakable things to me .
- I become hence excited that spring be hither that I wet my plants .
- I ask my wife if I live the only one she ’ d been with . She said yes , all the rest had been nines and tens .
- I trust that security should be employ at every conceivable occasion !
- My wife turned to me and said , “ What starts with F and ends with K ? ” and I say , “ No it does n’t . ”
- I utilize to live addicted to soap , but I ‘m clean today .
Best Dad Jokes That Are Responses to Kid Questions
For those phrase and questions that kids say over and over , of line there are dad-joke responses stockpiled and ready to get .
Child : Dad , my nose cost work .
Dad : Good , you better run catch it !
Kid : Dad , have you listen to a word I ‘ve suppose ?
Pa : What an queer mode to begin a conversation !
Kid : I had a thought .
Papa : I think I smell something burning !
Child : Can you invest my shoes on ?
Dad : No , I do n’t think they ‘ll agree me .
Child : Did you get a haircut ?
Dad : No , I got them all cut !
Papa : What ’ s this vegetable scream ?
Kid : An artichoke .
Papa : Good , it may have pass away Artie , but it won ’ t choke Dad !
Child : Ow , I ache my foot !
Dad : Good , what ’ d you do that for ?
Restaurant Server :Do you require a box for your remnant ?
Dad : No , but I ‘ll wrestle you for them .
Child : What ’ sec that ?
Pa : It ’ s a henweigh .
Child : What ’ s a henweigh ?
Dad : About two pounds .
Pa : Equal anyone hither able of putting their shoes on in a timely way ?
Kid : I be .
Pa : Nice to meet you , Capable of Invest Their Shoes On in a Timely Manner .
Child : Dad , can you create me a sandwich ?
Papa : Poof ! You ’ re a sandwich .
Child : Dad , can you lay the guy out ?
Pa : I did n’t know it equal on flame .
Kid : I ’ 1000 cold .
Dad : Then move sit in the corner — it ’ s 90 degrees !
Looking for more gag ? We own luck of holiday-specific jokes , also , including Christmas jokes , New Year ‘s jokes , Thanksgiving joke , Halloween jokes , Easter gag , Father ‘s Day jokes and Valentine ‘s Day jokes — still gag for Pi Day for March 14 !
Related to Floor
- Why I Observe Myself on My Kid ‘s Birthday
- The Secret to Raise Independent Kids
- How Become a Parent Build Me a Theme Dresser
Marisa ( she/her ) make covered all things parenting , from the postpartum period through the empty nest , forSerious Housekeepingsince 2018 ; previously , she wrote about parent and class atParentandSolve Mother. She lives with her toy-collecting husband and daughter in Brooklyn , where she can be see helping out her team at bar trivia or posting about movies on and Bluesky .
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