323 Clean Jokes For Kids (Plus Random Joke Button!)
Written & Illustrated by
Matthew James Taylor
Kids are natural comedians, they love telling jokes and laughing at even the silliest stories. Even young children enjoy the structure of joke-telling; the setup, the unexpected punchline, then laughing out loud together!
Kids can happily spend hours improvising their own jokes and experimenting to test what their friends and family find funny.
Help them out by browsing through our list of 323 kid-friendly jokes below, or click the Random Joke Button for rapid-fire gags:
Why do elephants wear yellow socks?
So they can hide upside down in a bowl of custard!
Categories:
- Riddles
- Knock-knock
- Doctor-jokes
- Puns
- Dad jokes
- Nonsense jokes
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Riddles
Kids are constantly asking parents why, now it’s time to ask them questions! These riddles will help kids to think outside of the box and to question everything while they try to think of an answer. Some of these are tricky but all of them are fun!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Why did the boy throw his clock out the window?
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Why did the elderly man fall in a well?
What kind of shoes do kidnappers wear?
Why are snails slow?
Because they’re carrying their house on their back!
Why did the soccer player take so long to eat dinner?
Try our fun action sports ideas for kids to keep all ages entertained.
What’s a cat’s favourite dessert?
What do you call a guy who’s really loud?
What’s a cat’s favourite food?
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4k?
What is a room with no walls?
Sandy’s mum has four kids; North, West, East, and?
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
What do you call two bananas on the floor?
A plane crashed in the jungle and every single person died. Who survived?
Why did the scarecrow win a Nobel prize?
What goes up and down but doesn’t move?
What’s brown and sticky?
How much did the shopkeeper sell his dead batteries for?
When you’re looking for something, why is it always in the last place you look?
Why can’t you ever trust atoms?
Try these fun educational activities that kids will love.
If an electric train is traveling south at 10 miles per hour and the wind is blowing North at 10 miles per hour, which way does the smoke blow?
What do you call a fish without an eye
What do you call a sleeping bull?
Why was the belt arrested?
What did the ghost call her Mum and Dad?
Why don’t you ever see giraffes in primary school?
What gets wetter the more it dries?
What do you call an old snowman?
What happens if life gives you melons?
What was a more useful invention than the first telephone?
What did the bald man say when he received a comb for his birthday?
How can you tell if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They’re all girls, otherwise, they would be uncles!
How many months have 28 days?
Where would you find an elephant?
What’s white and can’t climb trees?
How do you talk to a giant?
Try our fun spelling game called Daloodoo, it’s easy to play and lots of fun!
What has three letters and starts with gas?
Try our fun spelling game called Daloodoo, it’s easy to play and lots of fun!
What did the elf learn in school?
Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Why do birds fly?
Why do echidnas always win the game?
Why did the farmer ride his horse into town?
Why are ghosts terrible liars?
Why are elevator jokes the best?
How do you get a squirrel to notice you?
Why was the student’s report card wet?
Which side of a cow has the most hair?
Why did the M&M go to school?
What did one flea say to his friend?
What gets bigger the more you take away from it?
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
What type of key opens a banana?
What’s a crocodile’s favorite game?
What’s the dumbest animal in the jungle?
Why did the melon jump into the river?
What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
What’s worse than finding half a worm?
What did the banana say to the cat?
Why do tigers have stripes?
Why do scuba divers fall backward into the water?
Because if they fell forwards they would still be in the boat!
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
Why did the farmer jump on his potato plants?
What did the fish say when he bumped into a concrete wall?
Why did the puppy do so well at school?
What did zero say to eight?
What do you call a piece of seaweed that’s fallen in the bin?
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
How long is a piece of string?
Why was the mathematics book sad?
Try these fun educational activities that kids will love.
What do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
How do porcupines kiss?
What did the triangle say to the circle?
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
What’s a parent’s favorite Christmas carol?
Can February March?
What game does a tornado like to play?
Why does a seagull fly over the sea?
Because if it flew over the bay it would be called a bagel!
What’s the difference between a fridge and a newspaper?
What sound does a cow make when it breaks the sound barrier?
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
Why did the kid cross the playground?
Why did the kid bring a long ladder to school?
What two sicknesses are worst to have together?
Diarrhea and Alzheimer’s, you’re running but you don’t know where!
Why did the girl put her money in the freezer?
What do you get a woman who has everything?
What do you give a sick lemon?
What are the two things you can’t have for breakfast?
Try our best kids cooking activities, you’ll love them too!
What type of haircut do bees get?
What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
What’s the most expensive kind of fish?
Why did the tomato blush?
What letters are not in the alphabet?
Try our fun spelling game called Daloodoo, it’s easy to play and lots of fun!
How many letters are in the alphabet?
Try our fun spelling game called Daloodoo, it’s easy to play and lots of fun!
Why do chickens sit on eggs?
What time is it when people start throwing pieces of bread at your head?
Why did the giraffe have such a long neck?
How do you know there is an elephant in the fridge?
What did Venus say to Saturn?
What did the baby corn say to the mummy corn?
Try our best kids cooking activities, you’ll love them too!
Why are frogs happy?
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
What stays in the corner but can still travel around the world?
What do you call a dog that tells the time?
What do you call a fly with no wings?
What do you call a fly with no wings and no legs?
What do you call a fly with no wings, no legs, and no eyes?
What’s the best nation in the world?
What time is it when your clock strikes 13?
What is black and white and black and white and black and white?
Why can’t Cinderella play soccer?
Try our fun action sports ideas for kids to keep all ages entertained.
How long should a giraffe’s legs be?
What is the hardest part about skydiving?
What do you get if you cross an insect with a rabbit?
What happened when the wheel was invented?
Try these fun building activities that kids will love.
There were 5 cats in a boat and one jumped out, how many were left?
Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Where do people go who have two broken legs?
What’s the best thing to put into a pie?
Try our best kids cooking activities, you’ll love them too!
Why are fish smart?
What’s brown and sticky?
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
Why are Superman’s suits so tight?
What do you call a droid that goes the wrong way?
What are the strongest days of the week?
Why did the school teacher wear sunglasses to class?
What is a polygon?
What does a geologist do for entertainment?
What happened to the wooden car with wooden wheels and a wooden engine?
What message is written on the top of a ladder?
Are any Halloween monsters good at math?
What is the center of Gravity?
What kind of roads do ghosts look for?
What is the shortest month?
What did the big flower say to the tiny flower?
What do you call bears with no ears?
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
Try our fun action sports ideas for kids to keep all ages entertained.
What happened to the man who sued an airline for losing his luggage?
What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?
What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a cockroach?
Why are robots fearless?
What is a witch’s favorite school subject?
Try our fun spelling game called Daloodoo, it’s easy to play and lots of fun!
What should you do if someone rolls their eyes at you?
What has four wheels and flys?
What type of water cannot freeze?
What can you catch but never throw?
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
The egg, because dinosaurs laid eggs long before they evolved into chickens!
What is the least spoken language in the world?
What was the Cat in the Hat looking for in the toilet?
What did the policewoman say to her belly button?
What falls but never hits the ground?
What is heavy forward but not backward?
What does a book do in the winter?
What happened to the man who booked a brain transplant?
Which dinosaur had the best vocabulary?
Try our fun spelling game called Daloodoo, it’s easy to play and lots of fun!
Which is faster, hot or cold?
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs?
What should you do if it’s raining cats and dogs?
How do you get straight A’s?
How can we tell that the ocean is friendly?
What did one wall say to the other wall?
Which weighs more, a ton of feathers or a ton of bricks?
What is ‘out of bounds’?
What type of shoes do ninjas wear?
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
’Smiles’, because there’s a mile between each ’s’.
Try our fun spelling game called Daloodoo, it’s easy to play and lots of fun!
How does a train eat?
Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?
What do you call a camel with 3 humps?
What music frightens balloons?
Why did the boy tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
How do you drown a hipster?
How many cars can you put in an empty carpark?
What’s the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Try our best kids cooking activities, you’ll love them too!
Why don’t crocodiles eat clowns?
What did one snowman say to another?
What do you call two birds in love?
Why are celebrities so cool?
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
What washes up onto very small beaches?
What do you get when you cross a cow with a trampoline?
What race is never run?
What has two legs but can’t walk?
What animal needs oil?
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
How do you stop a spaceman’s baby from crying?
Try these fun building activities that kids will love.
Why do we put candles on the top of a birthday cake?
What do you call a funny chicken?
What did one DNA strand say to the other?
Why does a flamingo lift up one leg?
Because if it lifted up both legs it would fall over!
Why can’t your hand be 12 inches long?
What has to be broken before you can use it?
What’s worse than having diarrhea?
If you were in a race and passed the person who is in 2nd place, what place would you be in?
Knock-knock jokes
The repetitive format of knock-knock jokes are perfect for kids because they’re predictable, simple to understand, and it’s easy to invent new ones. Expect a few failures before you strike gold!
Wooden shoe like to hear another knock-knock joke?
Did you hear about the girl who invented knock-knock jokes?
Doctor jokes
Kids are fascinated by hospitals, medicine, doctors and nurses, and how their body works, but these jokes probably won’t teach them anything about those things!
Patient: Doctor, sometimes I feel like I’m invisible.
Patient: Doctor, every time I drink hot chocolate I get a stabbing pain in my eye.
Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
Patient: Doctor, I can’t stop my hands from shaking?.
Doctor: Sit on the couch and we’ll talk about it then.
Puns
With their multiple meanings and similar-sounding words, puns are a fun way to teach kids about the intricacies of the English language. Just don’t be mean if you don’t know what they mean (pun intended.)
Where do cows go for entertainment?
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
Why wouldn’t the shrimp share his toys?
How do you cut the sea in half?
What did one volcano say to the other?
Where do sheep get a haircut?
What do lawyers wear to court?
What kind of exam does a vampire give his students?
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh out loud?
What do you call a cow with a twitch?
What’s the king of school supplies?
What part of a fish weighs the most?
What type of music do rabbits like best?
Try our fun performance activities for outgoing kids.
What do you get if you cross a rabbit with a frog?
What do you call a horse that lives next door?
How does a penguin build a house?
Are snails faster without their shells?
What did the thumb say to the finger?
How do you make a tissue dance?
What did the horse say when it fell over?
Why is the grass dangerous?
What do you call a cow that eats your grass?
Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
What makes music on your head?
Why was the teacher cross-eyed?
What’s worse than raining cats and dogs?
What kind of award did the dentist win?
What’s the biggest moth in the world?
What kind of tree can you hold in one hand?
How does a cucumber become a pickle?
Try our best kids cooking activities, you’ll love them too!
What did the buffalo say when his son went to school?
What did the cat saw when someone stepped on its tail?
What did the boy ocean say to the girl ocean when she asked him out on a date?
Where do sick boats go to get better?
How do trees get onto the Internet?
What do monsters turn on when it’s hot?
What happens when you drop your phone in the water?
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards?
Try our fun performance activities for outgoing kids.
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
Why do bicycles fall over?
Try our fun action sports ideas for kids to keep all ages entertained.
My leaf-blower doesn’t work.
Dad Jokes
You either love them or hate them, but for me, as a father of three kids, I think Dad jokes are awesome! Luckily my kids like them too. You don’t have to be a dad to tell dad jokes. Try not to groan, here come some of the best of the worst!
Why are noodles called ‘noodles’?
What is black and white and red all over?
If you like coloring, check out our amazing coloring book made from kids drawings, it’s free to download.
What did the clock do when it was hungry?
What do you call a boy with a car on his head?
What’s green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls from a tree?
Which hand is better to write with?
What did the baby computer call its father?
Do you want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?
I ordered a chicken and an egg online.
How do you make holy water?
What do you call a man who can’t stand?
Why did the cow cross the road?
What kind of cats like to go bowling?
Try our fun action sports ideas for kids to keep all ages entertained.
What kind of bagel can fly?
Try our best kids cooking activities, you’ll love them too!
What did the spider do on the computer?
What happened to the kid who refused to sleep?
What do you call a factory that makes average quality products?
They laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian…
I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger…
Try our fun action sports ideas for kids to keep all ages entertained.
Where do animals go when their tails fall off?
Do Dads always snore?
What’s the worse Dad joke ever?
Why was the sand wet?
How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?
What’s the loudest pet you can get?
What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
How do you make seven an even number?
How many apples grow on a tree?
Try our best kids cooking activities, you’ll love them too!
My fat parrot died…
What’s the difference between a dog and a cat?
What is an elephant’s favorite sport?
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes?
Try our best kids cooking activities, you’ll love them too!
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Did you hear about the kidnapping in the park?
When does a joke become a Dad joke?
Did you hear the joke about the roof?
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of a door?
What’s green but smells like blue paint?
If you like coloring, check out our amazing coloring book made from kids drawings, it’s free to download.
What do you call a cat with no legs?
You can call her whatever you like but she’s not coming!
How does a scientist freshen his breath?
Try these fun educational activities that kids will love.
Nonsense Jokes
Kids don’t always make sense and neither do their jokes, but that doesn’t mean that they’re not funny. These incomplete, messed up, silly, and absurd jokes can still make you laugh out loud, particularly when delivered by a cute little kid!
What do you call a frog with no legs?
Why do you go to bed every night?
What’s red, juicy, and round?
What’s the same with an elephant and a ladybug?
What do you call a banana?
Why do elephants wear yellow socks?
So they can hide upside-down in a bowl of custard!
What’s green and looks like a tree?
If you like coloring, check out our amazing coloring book made from kids drawings, it’s free to download.
What is green and has blue wheels?
If you like coloring, check out our amazing coloring book made from kids drawings, it’s free to download.
What do you call a frog that eats crumpets?
Looking for more fun things to do with kids? See our 200 fun babysitting activities and use our filters to find the perfect games for your situation.
