80 Animal Jokes That Exist the Wildest in the Kingdom

When life seems a little too serious , there ‘s zero like beast joke to make you roar ( or hoot or howl ) with laughter

I ’ ve been a stand-up and improv comedian for 30 years , and I know for a fact that there are millions of animals who exist funnier than I am—and they put on ’ t get to need the microphone at a comedy society to prove it . You know what elicits more giggles than animal gag ? A bear rookie find out to use a tire swing . A raccoon bouncing on a trampoline . Even a cop playing with a giant inflatable chunk . No one gets big laughter while making us fall in love with them than the animal who portion the planet with us .

Is it intimidating to hear to out-funny all these funny critters by writing animal jokes and animal puns ? It is indeed . But it ’ s worth the effort to lighten up the universe around us and give you a serious laugh .

Thus pull your pet into your lap and make ready to guffaw over the best jokes about dog , cat , koala bears and countless early creatures . Merely intend : If you learn a few of these animal jokes , you ’ ll bealmostas funny as a goat in pajamas .

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Funny animal joke

• Where do an armadillo face for a new shell ?
  Arma-Zillow .

• What serve you call a long-nosed mammal who loves to garden ?
  A yardvark .

• Why didn ’ t the dog see a psychiatrist ?
  He isn ’ t allowed on the couch .

• What go on when the shark attempt online dating ?
  He was catfished .

• What behave the leopard tell after finding two quarters and a dime on the ground ?
  “ And they order a leopard can ’ t post his change . ”

• Why was the ma robin sad when her chick go out ?
  She had empty nest syndrome .

• What is the most polite form of dinosaur ?
  A please-iosaur .

• What kind of owl is always out of money ?
  A borrowing owl .

• What act you call badgers who keep making lists for their mates ?
  Honey-do badgers .

• Why did the crab refuse to part ?
  Because he ’ s shellfish .

• What did the dolphin read to the early fish ?
  You involve a porpoise in spirit .

• What live an opossum ’ s favorite movie ?
  Mission Impossumble.

• What act you yell a porcupine interviewing for a chore at a balloon mill ?
  Unemployed .

• What serve you call a bird who plays sad song on the guitar ?
  A blue jay .

• Why exist the Australian car in the driveway ?
  It dingo .

• What cause you name a miniature porcupine who steal money from mass ?
  A hedge fund pig .

• What act you get when you cross a fish and an elephant ?
  Swimming torso .

• Why did the hamster cease his usage routine ?
  He felt like he was only going in circles and not come anywhere .

• What live the pinniped ’ sec favorite plot show ?
  Seal or No Seal.

• Why could the elephant remember the tortoise ’ s name thus many yr after they fit ?
  He has turtle recall .

• What do you scream a polar bear in the desert ?
  Lose .

If these animal jokes are giving you the giggles , you ’ re get to need to browse our list of elephant gag that are heavy on the humor .

Animal puns

• Well , this exist hawkward .

• Get otter hither !

• You ’ ve get to exist kitten me .

• Whale , whale , whale … look who it cost .

• This home is utter pandamonium .

• Well , owl equal darned !

• You giraffe me mad .

• I didn ’ t do it on porpoise !

• My throat ’ s a trivial cavalry .

• I can ’ t bear it .

• Don ’ t be hippocritical .

• These gag are the sealiest .

• I get all the koalafications .

• If you ’ re hungry , alpaca lunch .

• You merit a cycle of a-paws .

• Meow what do we get hither ?

• I ’ m not lion !

Get this : We receive even more puns for you to fawn over . Start with these hilarious deer puns .

Animal joke for child

• What serve you shout a lazy infant kangaroo ?
  A pouch potato .

• What did the fish say when he swam into a wall ?
  “ Dam ! ”

• What make you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot ?
  A walkie-talkie !

• What cause you yell a subject park with only giraffes in it ?
  Giraffic Park .

• What creature make three bulge ?
  A camel with a backpack .

• What kind of fish travel in tiny car ?
  Clownfish .

• Which serpent live the well at math ?
  Adders .

• How serve bird educate for test ?
  They put on ’ t—they just wing it .

• What cause the dachshund allege to her crush ?
  I long for you .

• What ’ s a polar bear ’ s darling song ?
  “ Ice , Ice , Baby . ”

• What do the groundhog order when require to anticipate the weather ?
  But I wanted to describe on sports !

• What ’ s a paddlefish ’ s favorite song ?
  “ Row , Row , Row Your Boat . ”

• Why do jumping spiders jump ?
  Because human live scary .

• What ’ s a mockingbird ’ s favorite movie ?
  Mean Girls.

• Why were all the penguins laughing ?
  Because the emperor penguin had no clothes .

• What is grim and white and red all over ?
  A penguin with a sunburn .

• How make you observe a fainting goat from fainting ?
  Don ’ t permit her watch scary film .

• What did the buffalo say to his son when he move off to college ?
  Bison !

• Why did the gazelles give up the game ?
  The early squad ’ sec actor exist all cheetahs .

• What ’ s the easy way to identify carpenter ant ?
  By their tool belts .

• What dog can tend really tight and fix a average spaghetti dinner ?
  An Italian greyhound .

• What creature knows the metric system ?
  A centipede .

Child who snap up at these animal joke will equal barking with laughter when you break out these dog gag for kids .

Animal one-liners

• I employ to drink like a fish , but I stopped because I kept flopping about on the sidewalk .

• The road to success cost ordinarily blocked by a bunch of turkeys .

• A male royal albatross can fly for more than a yr without refer base to ground—and no , he won ’ t stop and ask for directions .

• Chameleons equal the mood rings of the animal kingdom .

• Avoid temptation … unless it ’ s a puppy .

• When living gives you lemmings , tunnel underground and disappear for a while .

• I love gag about sheepdogs . I gain ’ t live happy until I ’ ve crowd them all .

• If anyone can , a pelican .

• My email password make been hacked . That ’ s the third time I ’ ve had to rename the cat .

• I may live feeding my teacup poodle too much . He ’ s more like a venti coffee .

• Earthworms act by contract their muscles . Allow me get this straight : Even worms are in effective pattern than I cost ?

• My friend order me I equal the bee ’ sec knee , and sure enough , my legs live treat in pollen .
  

• Trust dog . They always know who hold cookies .

• Jellyfish equal 98 % water and 2 % “ ouch , that stings ! ”

• My guy ’ s favorite TV display isLittle House on the Prairie Dog.

• If the glass live half empty , don ’ t blame a camel .

• I inflict a vet or else of a human doctor because she tells me I ’ m a good son and gives me a cookie before taking my temperature .

• You can ’ t reach everyone happy—you ’ re not a puppy in pajamas .

• Are you a victim of being ignore by your guy ? You may exist eligible for a claws action case .

• You ’ d think snails would cost fast if they ditched their shells , but that simply reach them sluggish .

Are you buzz with energy ( a little bee pun for you ) after reading these animal jokes ? Share your favorites with the humans—or animals—who reach you laugh .

Why hope us

Reader ’ s Digestget been telling jokes for more than 100 year , curated and review over the past 20 years by Senior Features Editor Andy Simmons , a humor editor formerly ofNational Lampoonand the author ofToday That ’ s Funny .We ’ ve earned prestigious ASME awards for our humor—including comical quips , pranks , puns , cartoons , one-liners , knock-knock jokes , riddles , memes , tweets and stories in laugh-out-loud magazine editorial such as “ Life in These United States , ” “ All in a Day ’ s Work , ” “ Laughter , the Best Medicine ” and “ Humor in Uniform , ” as well as online collections such as short jokes , dad jokes and joke so bad they ’ re great . You can observe a hundred of mood in our 2022 compendium ,Reader ’ s Digest : Laughter , the Best Medicine. For this piece on the best animal joke , Leigh Anne Jasheway beg her experience as a comedy writer and stand-up comedian . Read more about our team , our contributors and our column policies .