Unbelievable and Hilarious Confessions From Reddit You Have to Read
What began as a simple concept shared by two university roommates has grown into what many consider the largest user-powered platform online. Reddit enables users to share nearly anything they choose, whether it’s photos, videos, essays, or short stories. Countless threads cover every imaginable topic, offering a space for people to express their opinions. Interested in browsing images of trees gripping objects? Visit r/TreesSuckingOnThings. Curious about humans with avian features? Explore r/peoplewithbirdheads. Or perhaps you’d enjoy amusing personal admissions? In that case, Reddit’s r/confessions thread is the perfect destination.
Reddit’s thread for hilarious confessions is packed with bizarre, outrageous, and entertaining stories as users reveal their deepest secrets. Although not every post is lighthearted—some submissions are genuinely somber—there are plenty of amusing admissions that will make you laugh. It’s astonishing what people will share online when they can hide behind anonymity.
1. I Got Off While Watching My Sims Have WooHoo
u/[deleted]: “Back in fifth grade, that was pretty much my sole resource. I did my best to ignore the fact it was just a game. Sorry about that, EA.”
I once believed dildos were something made by Hostess.
u/omega13: “You know, like Ding-Dongs or Ho-Hos. Back when I was a kid, I caught the older kids muttering ‘dildo’ a few times during lunch. They were snickering and keeping it hush-hush. For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why those snack cakes were such a big, giggly secret.”
3. I Created False Job Listings Online to Construct My Own Resume
u/mapleleafsf4n: “Back when I was around 19 or 20, I struggled to find work, and everyone kept advising me to create a strong resume. The issue was, I had no idea how to make one, so I started listing fake job openings online to collect resumes from applicants. I then used those resumes as templates, picking out the skills I liked to craft my own. It also gave me insight into who my competition was for the roles I posted. I still feel guilty about the people who believed those job postings were real and applied.”
At 33, I’ve secured a great job, and those resumes really played a key role in advancing my career.
4. Have You Noticed How Men Often Pretend to Be Adorable Women Online?
“I’m a woman, but I occasionally pretend to be an incel to infiltrate those communities. I can’t help but give in to my curiosity.”
5. I Fabricated a Bear Sighting to Land a Spot in the Newspaper
u/ImEONIC: “This took place four years back, and my recollection isn’t perfect—also, this is my first post, so yeah.”
To provide some context, I’m a 14-year-old male residing in a tiny village (approximately 2,000 inhabitants). From the time we began until about age 12, we frequently visited a nearby forest to play. A central “camp” area included a wind shelter and a fire pit where the teachers usually stayed.
At about age 10, our class visited that place, and we started playing. Roughly an hour later, some children came sprinting from a secluded area of the woods, claiming they’d spotted a bear. (Note: While brown bears inhabit our area, I’ve never known one to come so near the central village.)
We trusted them and continued playing. As we were about to leave, my friend and I realized we’d left our jackets at the ‘base.’ We returned to grab them, and on our way back to camp, we began discussing the bear. He suggested we should yell and act as if we’d spotted it.
We shouted in alarm and hurried away, claiming we’d spotted the bear. Nobody doubted us, and we simply returned to school.
When I arrived home, I explained to my mom what had occurred—sharing the lie rather than the truth—and she suggested I contact the local newspaper to inform them, which I did. The reporter posed questions, and I responded. Afterward, he spoke with my mom, who insisted I would never deceive anyone and even referred to me as ‘the truth himself.’
The article included a photo of me, and for the next couple of years, people kept asking if I was the person who spotted that bear.
The person I was with stayed quiet, but one of the children who initially said they spotted the bear later admitted they hadn’t seen it at all.
I needed to share this and hear some neutral perspectives. Apologies for the lengthy message.
6. I Feel a Sexual Attraction Toward My Boyfriend’s Father
“I can’t control it. I haven’t had the chance to meet him yet. All I know is what I’ve been told, the photos I’ve seen, and the sound of his voice. I’m so anxious that when we finally meet, I’ll act strangely around him. It’s gotten to the point where I’d rather avoid meeting him, even though he and my boyfriend are good friends.”
7. To Ensure Tranquility, I Dropped Eggs From My 16th-Story Apartment Balcony
u/azuerus2000: “I once lived on the 16th floor of an apartment complex. A pub was located on the ground level, and crowds frequently gathered late at night near its entrance. This became a nuisance for residents, as we’d often be awakened around 1 or 2 AM by loud conversations from intoxicated patrons outside. My unit had balconies on opposite sides of the building, so I’d regularly see groups gathering below on both sides.”
Frustrated by the noise, I chose to toss an egg near a crowd of people engaged in conversation. They quickly scattered, allowing me to finally get some rest. I repeated this tactic later, and once again, it proved effective. Soon, I began purchasing more eggs, turning it into a routine that lasted nearly half a year. No one suspected me, and I even listened in at the pub as people gossiped about eggs falling from the building’s balconies. Naturally, I kept things calm and quiet by hurling eggs from my balcony.
8. I’m Totally Into Our Neighborhood Delivery Guy, So I Keep Ordering Random Stuff Just to Catch a Glimpse of Him
u/[deleted]: “This all began six weeks back after I purchased a new electric fan, which he dropped off. I’m 19, standing at 5’8, while he appears to be around 24 to 27 years old and quite a bit shorter—probably 5’5. It’s hard to say for sure because my doorstep has a slight elevation.”
His cuteness is beyond amusing—when he first arrived, I couldn’t help but giggle, feeling completely flustered and even a bit embarrassed. But he was incredibly kind, guiding me through where to sign and everything since it was my first time ordering anything. (Normally, my parents handle all that…)
For the past six weeks, I’ve been getting around two deliveries each week—sometimes even more. I keep buying unnecessary, low-cost junk just for the sake of it. I’ve even allocated a special “see the delivery guy” fund, which is honestly embarrassing, but I can’t help myself. I think he’s starting to notice because recently he’s begun making casual conversation, and I get so flustered that I blurt out ridiculous things. He just laughs, and I’m left completely clueless about how to handle it. My sister has definitely figured me out—today, when he dropped off two small packages, she walked in right as he was leaving and said, “So he’s why you’re constantly ordering stuff,” before heading inside.
“I’m utterly humiliated. He glanced at her, then at me, and had the nerve to smirk. He probably sees me as a total joke. Seriously, just end me right now.”
9. I Picked Up a Man’s Motor Scooter and Moved It to a Disabled Parking Space
u/qso: “I picked up someone’s motor scooter and moved it into a handicapped space. After that, I took the spot where the scooter was originally parked.”
10. I Masturbated in a Public Restroom
11. I Yell at Golfers
u/flyingwhale1229: “From the moment theJackassWhenever the movie came out, I make it a habit to reduce my speed when passing a golf course, timing it so that just as a golfer prepares to swing, I sound my horn to disrupt their shot and observe their response.
12. I’m Breaking Up With My Boyfriend Because He Won’t Quit Using the Mickey Mouse Voice in Bed
u/ThrowawayMickeyMice: “Using a throwaway for privacy. I (27f) recently found a ring box in my boyfriend’s (29m) nightstand, and it seems like he might be preparing to propose. Honestly, I’m considering ending the relationship instead.”
Three years ago, everything started when my boyfriend and I were first intimate. While we were fooling around, he let out the Mickey Mouse laugh after finishing. Initially, I assumed I’d misheard or it was just a joke, so I didn’t bring it up.
At first, he didn’t repeat it, so I assumed it was just a one-off incident. However, I later made the error of proposing we add some variety to our intimate moments. Now, he exclusively uses the Mickey Mouse voice when we’re together in bed.
He groans in a Mickey voice. He refers to me as princess in a Mickey voice, and I’m not sure how much longer I can handle it. Our intimate moments have always been scarce because we both have highly demanding careers, and our sex drive isn’t particularly strong. I believed I could ignore this part of our relationship since he’s genuinely a wonderful person in every other way.
Discovering the engagement ring in his nightstand has made me decide to end things. I just can’t imagine tolerating the Mickey voice during intimacy forever.
At a young age, I replicated a poem from a published work and earned first prize in a poetry competition.
u/PancSutt: “Back in third grade, I was deeply passionate about reading and writing, frequently staying up way later than I should have to devour any book I could understand. Our house had a collection of children’s encyclopedias covering various subjects—dinosaurs, the solar system, global history, and more—along with one dedicated to stories and poems.”
One poem especially captivated me—it depicted solitude in nature and deeply resonated with my feelings. I adored it so much that I transcribed it into my personal journal, where I collected my own writing and inspiring passages or poems. Being so young at the time (just a child, really), it didn’t cross my mind to note the author’s name or any details, especially not in my private journal.
Several weeks passed, and my mother discovered the journal while tidying up my room. After reading the poem, she believed it was my own creation. That evening, she came to me, filled with pride over what she thought was my work. Being just eight years old, I craved her admiration and didn’t confess that I had copied the poem from a book. It didn’t seem important at the time, especially since she was so delighted.
A month or two later, my mother is browsing the Sunday paper and notices a poetry competition for youth. She instantly recalls “my” poem and urges me to submit it. That same day, she asks my father to take us to his office so she can type it out (this was before home computers existed). She mails the entry to the newspaper, and naturally, since an 8-year-old’s name is attached to an adult’s already published work, it secures first place in my age category. My parents are thrilled with me, and I’m overwhelmed with guilt.
In the following month, the newspaper features my poem and photo on the front of its arts section. I’m asked to recite the poem during an awards event for all the contest entrants. Naturally, I attend because my mom insists, and there’s no reason not to. I receive a minor prize—a ribbon and possibly a gift card, though the details escape me. What stays with me is the overwhelming sense of guilt I felt.
I’ve lost track of the countless sleepless nights I devoted to this poem. Years afterward, when plagiarism is discussed in class, it feels like a direct accusation aimed at me. I recall shredding the page containing the poem from the book, then disposing of the pieces concealed in an unused sanitary pad, terrified someone might discover the truth. Two decades have passed since that awards event, and despite knowing it was just a minor childhood error, the weight of guilt lingers.
TL;DR – At age eight, my mother found a poem in my journal and thought I wrote it. I never told her otherwise, and she later submitted it to a poetry competition. It took first prize, and I’ve carried the guilt for two decades.
Update: Wow! I’m genuinely touched—your support has really lifted my spirits. Since so many asked for the poem, I’ve shared it below. I couldn’t get the line breaks right, so I’ve separated them with slashes instead.
This is my stone/And here I race/To claim the mystery of the sun.
This is my stone/And here I stand/Before the dusk reclaims the land.
This is my stone/This is the spot/I greet the dusk eye to eye.
14. I enjoy sneaking through my house and pretending to be a goblin.
“I’m not entirely sure why, but I genuinely find pleasure in doing this. Perhaps it’s my method of coping with stress, but I tend to do it roughly once a week. Typically, I’ll wander around with a sack, moving in a crouched walk and making goblin-like sounds. Then, I’ll roam through my house collecting assorted ‘trinkets’—ranging from random items on the floor to utensils—and toss them into the bag, muttering things like ‘I’ll be having that’ while cackling in my goblin voice. Recently, my neighbors brought up hearing strange noises similar to what I described, and I was silently panicking the whole time we spoke. I’m almost certain they have no idea it’s me, but that tiny sliver of doubt is really gnawing at me.” – u/Sasuke-in-SSBU
15. I Kissed My Cousin
“I kissed my cousin and enjoyed it so much that I got wet and showed him my breasts. Now he feels ashamed of himself.” – u/Wesleyan
16. I Believed Fifty Shades of Grey Was a Detective Story
“I believed”A nuanced exploration of desire and power unfolds in *Fifty Shades of Grey*, delving into the complexities of passion and control.“was a novel in the crime mystery genre.” –
17. I Risk Being Expelled from My University Over Urinating in Public
“I struggle with drinking—that much is clear. When I’m around responsible people, I drink in moderation, but when I’m with those who like to party, I overindulge.”
One evening, I ended up completely wasted and urinated just outside the neighborhood bar. I was so drunk I barely remembered anything, relieving myself on the front steps and onto the road. As a result, my school placed me on ‘probation’ and required me to hand in multiple documents, among other things.
I didn’t complete any of the tasks they assigned me. On Cinco de Mayo, I ended up getting extremely drunk once more and urinated in the same spot as before. I got caught, and now I’m waiting for my second probation hearing to determine whether I can continue as a student next semester.
I’m really hoping everything turns out okay. I plan to own up to what I did and see how that plays out (instead of opting for a “student hearing” where a panel of students would review my case). If they decide to let me go, it would feel like an overly harsh and unfair consequence, though I can’t pretend it’s impossible. What I did wasn’t exactly the most mature choice for someone who’s 21.
“TL;DR: I might have metaphorically wasted my college degree by actually urinating in public.” –
18. As a man, I genuinely enjoy wearing Uggs.
“Nineteen years ago, my sibling sat for the SAT in my place.”
“Long ago, my sibling sat for the SAT in my place.” – u/qs0
20. I Believed Keanu Reeves Was an African-American Basketball Star
“Maybe it’s simply how his name comes across?” –
21. Stickers and patterned tape fill me with fear.
“Stickers and patterned tape absolutely horrify me. I’m not sure why—there’s no specific trauma I can recall—but they make me deeply uncomfortable. Just yesterday, I caught a glimpse of a video thumbnail showing someone eating stickers in a dim alley, and it nearly made me vomit. This is exactly why I could never handle a job involving children.” –
22. One time, I watched a full movie without noticing that my car was still running in the parking lot the entire time.
“UPDATE: The film was Pacific Rim, and I enjoyed it. That, along with my car remaining safe in the theater parking lot, turned the day into a really great one. 😀”
EDIT 2: Well, this just became my most upvoted comment, and my handle is instantly identifiable to everyone I’ve ever rolled dice with in D&D.” – u/[deleted]
23. In London at Piccadilly Circus, Though My Memory Fails Me Now
In 1987, I found myself in London, preparing to enter a techno club with a group of friends. The afternoon had been wild, as we explored several hidden spots away from the usual tourist trails, guided by some fascinating locals. By the time we left the apartment for the night, everyone was buzzing with excitement. As we arrived, I stood at the club’s entrance, ready to step inside.
The following morning, I woke up without a hangover in the same flat we’d left earlier. The air felt slightly chilly as I glanced around. Nothing stirred inside, and the only sounds came from the traffic outside. Then I sensed movement to my left and right—two female friends from the night before, still dressed, asleep beside me. Meanwhile, I lay there stark naked.
Even now, I remain completely unaware of what occurred. I suspect I was drugged, as I didn’t experience a hangover. Waking up and facing everyone the next morning felt incredibly uncomfortable, and the silence from everyone suggested it must have been a terrible ordeal—no one mentioned a word about it to me.
It still unsettles me deeply. I have no clue what I did, and even now, nearly four decades later, it continues to weigh on my mind. I consider myself fortunate to have survived, and it seems I was looked after by some incredibly kind individuals.
“Be around those who uplift and support you, ensuring your well-being.” –
24. The Fact That I Play Dungeons & Dragons
“My parents still believe the idea that ‘D&D pushes kids toward Satan or witchcraft’ and even warned they’d kick me out when I mentioned wanting to try it at home. However, they only recognize the game’s NAME and have no clue what it involves, so as long as none of my supplies are labeled ‘Dungeons and Dragons,’ they wouldn’t even notice.” – u/Mario3585
At the age of 10, I nursed from my aunt’s breasts.
“My childhood memories are hazy, but this one stands out vividly. When I (18M) was younger, I’d spend holidays at my aunt’s (my mom’s sister) place. Since she lived alone, she’d often invite me to stay for a week or two—maybe because she got lonely. We’d share her bed, and everything seemed normal. One night, I got thirsty and wanted water, but I was too afraid to go to the kitchen alone, so I woke her up to come with me. Suddenly, she pulled her breasts out of her shirt and told me to suck them. I did for about a minute before we went back to sleep. Reflecting on it now, that might have been my first experience with sexual arousal. As a kid, just thinking about that night would make me hard. Later, I learned women don’t lactate unless they’ve had a baby, so she just wanted me to suck on her tits. Now she has a family and acts like nothing ever happened (she probably assumes I’ve forgotten), but I remember it perfectly. It might sound like some strange fantasy, but I swear it’s true.”
26. I am the owner of the website www.usedpantiesforsale.us.
“Outside of the website, I already have a successful career, but when the chance arose for the site, I decided to take it.” – u/usedpantiesforsaleUS
27. I Dropped a Deuce in a Urinal
“A few years back, when I was around 14, I dropped a deuce in a urinal at a Dazolis in Morehead, KY, just for laughs—AND IT’S STILL HILARIOUS.” – u/CountryBoiCanSurvive
28. This Is So Humiliating
“Everyone keeps complimenting my athletic physique and asking about my exercise regimen… I have no idea how to explain that it’s just from masturbating 😭 One guy even said my legs looked super toned, and I awkwardly admitted I don’t work out or run. Then it hit me—I must clench up so much during solo sessions that it’s basically a workout?? 😭😭 Should I just start lying and say I hit the gym? I’m so conflicted.” –
29. I Wish To Live Like Brian From Fast and Furious
“How much should I save to afford a low-cost home in places like Los Angeles or Miami, own a high-end JDM car (around $20k), work any job, and spend my nights driving to car meets and racing? That’s my dream.” –
Tobias is a content expert with more than ten years of experience crafting articles on men’s lifestyles for numerous global publications. Away from his desk, he loves exploring new destinations, savoring pizza, and indulging in action movies from the 1980s.
Tobias is a content expert with more than ten years of experience crafting articles on men’s lifestyles for numerous global publications. Away from his desk, he loves exploring new destinations, savoring pizza, and binge-watching action movies from the 1980s.
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