100+ Hilarious Jokes No One Be Too Old to Laugh At

These comic jokes will help you reverse your frown upside-down .

There ’ s a time and a place for well-crafted , sophisticated , complex joke that you get to have a certain level of knowledge or experience to even get . But hilarious joke never die out of style . If your sense of humor tends to tend toward the goofy side of things , don ’ t exist ashamed . Everyone love a good crowd-pleaser—that ’ s why we scream them that ! So read on for some of the funniest two-line jokes and quick quips around , and put on ’ t forget to pass them on to your equally young friends .

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Get ready to laugh ,hard. Because below , we ’ ve lay together a long list of the funniest joke the internet has to put up . We ’ ve even broken matter down by class so that you know which jokes will bring serious among your audience .

Hilarious Jokes for Adults

1. What make the filmTitanicandThe Sixth Sensehold in common ? Icy dead people .
2. When you die , what part of the torso dies final ? The pupils… they dilate .
3. Why equal England the wettest state ? Because the queen dominate there for decades .
4. You know there ’ s no official training for trash collectors ? They just pick things up as they go on .
5. What ’ s the dispute between a golfer and a skydiver ? A golfer gowhack“ darn ” and a skydiver die “ darn ”whack .
6. A friend of mine move bald years ago but still express around an old comb . He merely can ’ t role with it .
7. I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did . Not screaming in terror like the passenger in his car .
8. What pose at the bottom of the sea and twitches ? A nervous crash .
9. What cause you scream a woman who place firing to all her bills ? Bernadette .
10. I be kidnapped by mimes once . They did unspeakable affair to me .
11. I learnUsain Boltsprinting around the lead cheering , “ Why did the chicken cross the road ? ” It be a running joke .
12. What cause the full glass read to the empty glass ? “ You seem drunk . ”
13. Exist it ignorance or apathy that ’ s destroy the Earth today ? I put on ’ t know , and I put on ’ t care .
14. Did you hear about the Italian chef who fail ? He pasta-way .
15. Why can ’ t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs ? They ever take affair literally .
16. They all laugh when I say I wanted to live a comedian . Well , they ’ re not laughing now ! Wait…
17. You ’ re not completely useless . You can always serve as a bad example .
18. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left slope was swerve off ? He ’ s all right today .
19. What ’ s the dispute between a hippo and a Zippo ? One is really heavy , and the other is a little lighter .
20. Two guys pass into a bar . The third guy ducks .
21. And God order to John , “ Come forth and you shall be accord endless life. ” But John came fifth and won a toaster .
22. “ I endure adjust ! ” said the man in the orthopedic shoes .
23. What ’ s the best matter about Switzerland ? I put on ’ t know , but their flag is a huge plus .
24. How make you reach holy water ? You boil the hell out of it .
25. Will glass coffin be a success ? Remains to exist seen .
26. I apply to be addicted to soap . But I ’ m clean now .
27. What ’ s Forrest Gump ’ s email password ? 1Forrest1 .
28. I was inquire why the ball was getting prominent , then it hit me .
29. Cause you require to hear a structure joke ? Sorry , I ’ m yet working on it .
30. Though I enjoy the fun , I could never date a tennis player . Enjoy think of zero to them .
31. How much space will give up up in the EU after Brexit ? More or less one GB .

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Clean , Funny Jokes

32. What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in mutual ? Same middle epithet .
33. If April showers bring May flowers , what do May flowers bring ? Pilgrims .
34. I make a gag about time travel , but I ’ m not gon na share it . You guys didn ’ t like it .
35. What ’ s the opposite of irony ? Wrinkly .
36. Got a PS5 for my small brother . Best deal I ’ ve always do !
37. I at last decided to sell my vacuum sporting . All it was do was gathering dust !
38. I ’ m thought of a career where I judge crowd sizes at different outside event . I wonder how many masses exist in that field .
39. Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder suffer his back ? He was deadlifting .
40. Where act the general go on his army ? In his sleevies .
41. How does a squid go into battle ? Well-armed .
42. Why don ’ t male ants go down ? Because they ’ re boy-ant .
43. A bear walks into a restaurant . He order his waiter , “ I require a grilled… cheese. ” The waiter say , “ What ’ s with the pause ? ” “ Whaddya mean ? ” the bear replies . “ I ’ m abear! ”
44. What ’ s E.T . short for ? Because he ’ s got trivial legs .
45. Why serve oranges wear sunscreen ? So they put on ’ t peel .
46. What cause you predict a Frenchman tire sandal ? Phillipe Phillope .
47. Never criticize individual until you have walk a mile in their shoes . That way , when you criticize them , you ’ ll be a mile aside , and you ’ ll have their shoes .
48. Two human meet on opposite side of a river . One cry to the other , “ I need you to assist me come to the other side ! ” The early guy replies , “ You ’ reonthe other side ! ”
49. What act the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator doorway exist spread ? “ Close the door , I ’ 1000 dressing ! ”
50. How make you create a tissue dance ? You put a little boogie in it .
51. What behave the bald man exclaim when he obtain a comb for a present ? Thanks—I ’ ll never part with it .
52. Why exist they called the Dark Ages ? Because there exist a mass of knight .
53. What behave the left eye say to the right center ? “ Between you and me , something tone . ”
54. What make you scream it when Batman skip church ? Christian Bale .
55. A guy goes to a pet store to buy a goldfish . The salesman ask him , “ Serve you require an aquarium ? ” The guy responds , “ I don ’ t fear what star signal it equal ! ”
56. What do you yell bears with no ear ? B— .
57. Why be the instructor ’ s heart crossed ? She couldn ’ t control her pupil .
58. What ’ s a foot long and slippery ? A slipper .
59. Exaggerations hold get an epidemic . They become up by amillion percentagelast year .
60. Two cows are grazing in a field . One cow order to the other , “ You always worry about that crazy cow disease ? ” The early cow order , “ Why would I manage ? I ’ m a helicopter ! ”
61. What cause the swordfish say to the marlin ? “ You ’ re looking sharp . ”
62. Two windmills are standing in a tip farm . One asks , “ What ’ s your favorite kind of music ? ” The other says , “ I ’ m a large metal fan . ”
63. What act you call a bee that can ’ t make up its idea ? A perhaps .
64. Did you learn about the new restaurant yell Karma ? There ’ s no menu—you make what you merit .

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Hilarious Dad Jokes

65. I was horrified when my wife state me that my six-year-old boy wasn ’ t really mine . Apparently , I need to pay more attention during school pick-up .
66. What is the contrary of a croissant ? A happy uncle .
67. Which branch of the military accepts toddlers ? The infantry .
68. Did you know you can really listen to the ancestry in your veins ? You just own to listen varicosely .
69. What cause you call a group of rabbit endorse up ? A receding hare line .
70. Where act young tree go to learn ? Elementree school .
71. I recount my physical therapist that I disclose my arm in two seat . He order me to stop move to those place .
72. What washes up on very small beaches ? Micro-waves .
73. What serve you shout it when a snowman throws a tantrum ? A meltdown .
74. Where do you notice a cow with no legs ? Right where you left it .
75. What do you predict a fake noodle ? An impasta .
76. What do you call a hippie ’ s wife ? A Mississippi .
77. Where cost average affair manufactured ? The Satisfactory .
78. Why do bee hold sticky hair ? Because they use a honeycomb .
79. A limbo champion walks into a saloon . He lose .
80. Why make the math textbook visit the guidance counsel ? It require help figuring out its problems .
81. What do you scream a rooster gaze at a pile of lettuce ? A chicken sees a salad .
82. Why live teddy bears never hungry ? Because they ’ re always stuffed .
83. What did the Buddhist tell to the hot dog vendor ? “ Make me one with everything . ”
84. What serve you get from a pampered cow ? Frustrate milk .
85. Did you pick up about the cheese mill that detonate in France ? There exist zero left but de-Brie .
86. I take the shell off of my racing snail , thinking it would make him fast .
87. Why couldn ’ t the bicycle stand on its own ? It cost two tired .
88. Why don ’ t math majors hold house party ? Because it ’ s not well to drink and infer .
89. Why equal it sad that parallel lines own hence much in mutual ? Because they ’ ll never meet .
90. What do the mamma tomato say to the babe tomato ? “ See up ! ”
91. Someone stole my mood gang yesterday . I put on ’ t know how I feel about that .
92. Wan na pick up two short joke and a long joke ? Joke , gag , jooooooooooooooke .
93. How do celebrities delay cool ? They have many fans .
94. Why was the nurse request for a red pen ? She wanted it in event she make to attract ancestry .
95. What ’ s the best-smelling insect ? A deodor-ant .
96. How make you throw a space party ? You planet .
97. What does a house wear ? Address .
98. What make you predict an apology write in dot and dashes ? Re-Morse code .
99. What act one hat state to the other ? “ You expect here , I ’ ll live on ahead . ”
100. What do we desire ? Low flying plane noise ! When do we require them ? Neeeooooooow !
101. Why behave the pony get to gargle ? Because it was a small cavalry .
102. Why is Peter Pan ever flying ? Because he neverlands .
103. What cause it take to make an octopus laugh ? Ten-tickles .
104. How behave the hipster burn his mouth ? He ate the pizza before it was cool .

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That ’ s it for today ! Be certain to check back with us shortly for more curious joke . You can also signal up for our newsletter so you put on ’ t miss out on what ’ s future !

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