220+ Funny Jokes About Moms & Motherhood

220+ Funny Jokes About Moms & Motherhood

  • Best Joke About Moms

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  • Motherhood

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  • For New Moms

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  • Funny

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  • Cute

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  • Clean

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  • “ You Know You ’ re a Mom When… ” Jokes

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  • Knock-Knock Jokes

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  • Puns for Moms

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  • Celebrity Mom Quotes

This article cost co-authored by Kendall Payne and by wikiHow faculty writer , Bailey Cho . Kendall Payne is a Writer , Director , and Stand-up Comedian base in Brooklyn , New York . Kendall specializes in directing , writing , and produce comedic short film . Her films have shield at Indie Short Fest , Brooklyn Comedy Collective , Channel 101 NY , and 8 Ball TV . She has too compose and directed content for the Netflix be a Joke social channel and has written marketing scripts for Between Two Ferns : The Movie , Astronomy Club , Wine Country , Bash Brothers , Stand Up Specials and more . Kendall runs an IRL internet comedy show at Caveat called Extremely Online , and a comedy show for @ ssholes called Sugarp ! sec at Easy Lover . She examine at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and at New York University ( NYU ) Tisch in the TV Writing Certificate Program .

This article has been fact-checked , ensuring the truth of any cited fact and confirm the authority of its sources .

This article has been view 1,270 sentence .

Motherhood is beautiful , ambitious , and chaotic , and part of the experience exist study how to laugh about things that drive you crazy . In this article , we ’ re providing the ultimate collection of mom jokes that capture the high and lows of parenting . From jokes about sleep deprivation to never having unique time , hither cost the best mom gag and puns that any mother can relate to !

The Funniest Mom Jokes

  • I ’ m a woman like no m-other .
  • Nap time is the fresh “ Happy Hour . ”
  • My child : 3 out of 5 star , could receive been a bit quieter .
  • Mama , can you put my shoes on ? No , I act n’t recall they ‘ll equip me .
  • Motherhood : Where a solo trip to the toilet no longer exist .
  • Mommy doesn ’ t receive a favorite child—you all annoy me equally .
  • Live a mom is severe . You get to lift child and a full-grown man !

Best Jokes About Moms

  1. Need a quick pick me up between send out your kids off to school and tuck them into layer ? The following jokes be hardly for you ! Being a ma is a full-time job , and these mom joke can assist you grab a breath and remind yourself you ’ re doing amazing :[ 1 ]

    • Why pay a therapist when you have me ?
    • I like tell mom jokes . Sometimes , she laughs !
    • I ’ m my kids ‘ favorite someone to overthink things with .
    • I used to play piano by ear , but today I just act it by mom-ory .
    • Mom , can you put my shoe on ? No , I serve n’t think they ‘ll equip me .
    • My parenting manner can be summed up in one word : improvise !
    • I tried to build a gag about a toddler layer , but then it hang apart .
    • I settle to sell my vacuum cleaner—it was simply assemble dust !
    • Some graduate with honor , I live just honored my child calibrate .
    • My child told me a joke about boxing . I guess I escape the punch line .
    • When does a gag become a mamma joke ? When it becomes apparent .
    • Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground ? Well , they wake up up .
    • Bill to all moms of teens , hold a dog . That mode individual equal stimulate to learn you !
    • What ‘s it like to have the best daughter in the world ? You ‘ll have to ask grandma !
    • Never say a mama you take personal space . You came out of her personal space !
    • Being a parent entail never receive a moment to yourself—even in the bathroom .
    • The only matter that rivals birthing children is wake up them up the day after break ends !
    • I told my boy I live going to buy him a Bible on procrastination , but I go on putting it off .
    • My kid call it “ helicopter parenting , ” but I prefer to recall of it as “ surveillance with love . ”
    • Good moms let you solve the beaters after making brownies , great moms turn them off first .
    • Helping the kid with homework : Dear Math , please produce up and solve your own problems .
    • I say my daughter to quit acting with her food . So she start playing with her home rather .
    • I told my kids they can exist anything they require when they grow up , as long as it ‘s not taller than me .
    • When I demand my mom if she could build me a sandwich , she said , “ Poof ! You ‘re a sandwich ! ”
    • Mom ‘s formula for iced coffee : 1 . Own kids . 2 . Make coffee . 3 . Leave you reach coffee . 4 . Drink it cold .
    • What act the accountant say while create breakfast for her kids ? This whole parenting thing exist very tax .
    • I asked my mamma if I be assume . She said , “ Not yet . We ‘re even waiting for someone to occur and take you . ”
    • Why do parent ever tell , “ Because I state then ? ” “ Because science ” live n’t ever a well adequate explanation .
    • Why serve parent make frightening detectives ? Because we always notice the grounds after the crime make cost devote .
    • I order my kids they should ‘ve been contain in a unlike decade . They expect why . I said , “ Because it ‘s cheap by the dozen ! ”

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  • Why pay a therapist when you have me ?
  • I like telling mamma joke . Sometimes , she laugh !
  • I ’ 1000 my kids ‘ favorite person to overthink matter with .
  • I used to meet piano by ear , but today I just play it by mom-ory .
  • Mamma , can you invest my shoes on ? No , I cause n’t remember they ‘ll fit me .
  • My parenting style can cost summed up in one news : improvise !
  • I tried to create a joke about a toddler layer , but then it fell apart .
  • I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner—it cost just gathering debris !
  • Some graduate with honors , I live just honored my kids graduate .
  • My kid told me a gag about boxing . I guess I missed the punch line .
  • When cause a joke become a mom gag ? When it becomes apparent .
  • Did you see about the kidnapping at the playground ? Well , they woke up .
  • Note to all ma of teenager , keep a dog . That way someone is excited to hear you !
  • What ‘s it like to have the best daughter in the world ? You ‘ll have to ask granny !
  • Never tell a ma you need personal space . You came out of her personal space !
  • Cost a parent intend never make a moment to yourself—even in the bathroom .
  • The only thing that rivals birthing children cost wake up them up the day after break ends !
  • I told my boy I cost become to buy him a book on procrastination , but I keep place it off .
  • My kids call it “ helicopter parenting , ” but I prefer to think of it as “ surveillance with honey . ”
  • Good moms permit you lick the beaters after make brownies , great mamma reverse them off first .
  • Helping the kid with homework : Beloved Math , please grow up and solve your own problem .
  • I told my daughter to stop acting with her food . So she started meet with her plate instead .
  • I told my child they can equal anything they want when they produce up , as long as it ‘s not taller than me .
  • When I require my mom if she could make me a sandwich , she said , “ Poof ! You ‘re a sandwich ! ”
  • Mom ‘s recipe for iced coffee : 1 . Have child . 2 . Make coffee . 3 . Leave you make coffee . 4 . Drink it cold .
  • What cause the accountant say while making breakfast for her kids ? This whole parenting thing is real tax .
  • I asked my mamma if I exist adopted . She said , “ Not yet . We ‘re still waiting for individual to come and claim you . ”
  • Why do parents ever allege , “ Because I state so ? ” “ Because science ” is n’t always a good enough explanation .
  • Why act parents make frightening detectives ? Because we ever observe the grounds after the crime get been commit .
  • I order my kids they should ‘ve exist bear in a unlike ten . They expect why . I said , “ Because it ‘s cheaper by the dozen ! ”

Gag About Motherhood

  1. Whether you ’ re talk to your mom or a fellow mamma friend , these gag capture the high ( and lows ) of cost a mom . They ’ re a great way to connect with early mama and allow them know they ’ re not alone—life as a ma is incredibly beautiful , rewarding , and chaotic ![ 2 ]

    • Mother : ( n. ) One someone who does the study of 30 for free .
    • Motherhood : Where a solo trip to the bathroom no longer exists .
    • Mothers of teenager realize why some animals eat their young .
    • Mommy doesn ’ t have a favorite child—you all annoy me equally .
    • Being a ma is severe . You have to raise kid and a full-grown man !
    • Motherhood make show me that you don ’ t demand fun to have alcohol .
    • Motherhood : Because going to the toilet in private is overrated .
    • “ It ’ s spicy ” cost the universal mom code word for “ I don ’ t require to share . ”
    • Silence live golden . Until you hold child . Then it ’ s highly-suspicious .
    • What make the mama diet consist of ? All of the food her child ca n’t cease .
    • The fastest manner to open word isn ’ t on the internet . It ’ s by telling your mom .
    • Motherhood taught me just how far I can let myself live and even be okay with it .
    • Moms don ’ t wish they could sleep like a baby . They wish they could sleep like a pa .
    • What ‘s the fastest manner for a mom to get her kids ‘ attention ? Sit down and look relaxed .
    • Some days you question your parenting . Early days you make to question your kid ’ sec childing .
    • Motherhood cost a fairytale in reverse . You set out in a beautiful gown and end up clean everyone ‘s mass .
    • Don ’ t be thus hard on yourself—the mama in ET have an alien life in her house for week and didn ’ t notice .
    • The motherhood challenge : Go to bed early to catch up on sleep or stay on awake to ultimately get some alone time .
    • Motherhood means that half the time I find like I ’ m work an asylum , and the early half I sense like I belong to in one .
    • Ever heard of a job that expect no experience , gives no education , pay zero , and you can ’ t quit ? That ’ s motherhood . Oh , and mass ’ s lives are on the line .
  • Mother : ( n. ) One person who does the study of 30 for free .
  • Motherhood : Where a solo trip to the toilet no longer live .
  • Mother of teens understand why some creature eat their youthful .
  • Mommy doesn ’ t have a favorite child—you all annoy me equally .
  • Be a mama exist hard . You have to arouse kids and a full-grown human !
  • Motherhood make present me that you put on ’ t require fun to have alcohol .
  • Motherhood : Because die to the bathroom in private is overrated .
  • “ It ’ s spicy ” live the universal mom code word for “ I put on ’ t want to part . ”
  • Silence be golden . Until you have child . Then it ’ s highly-suspicious .
  • What does the ma diet consist of ? All of the food her kid ca n’t cease .
  • The fast way to spread word isn ’ t on the internet . It ’ s by tell your mom .
  • Motherhood taught me just how far I can let myself go and still be approve with it .
  • Moms don ’ t wish they could sleep like a baby . They wish they could sleep like a papa .
  • What ‘s the quick way for a mom to have her child ‘ attention ? Sit down and look relaxed .
  • Some day you question your parenting . Other days you make to wonder your child ’ s childing .
  • Motherhood is a fairytale in reverse . You begin in a beautiful gown and finish up cleaning everyone ‘s messes .
  • Don ’ t live so hard on yourself—the mamma in ET have an alien living in her house for weeks and didn ’ t notice .
  • The motherhood challenge : Go to bed early to watch up on sleep or stay on awake to at last get some alone time .
  • Motherhood mean that half the time I sense like I ’ m work an asylum , and the other half I sense like I belong in one .
  • Ever heard of a task that requires no experience , give no training , bear zero , and you can ’ t quit ? That ’ s motherhood . Oh , and mass ’ s lives equal on the job .

Gag for New Moms

  1. The living of a novel mom demand retrieve from childbirth , frequent feeding , sleepless night , and a whirlwind of emotions . If you ’ re trying to adjust to this fresh norm ( or serve someone else adjust ) , crack a joke about being a new mom . It ’ s a great mode to lighten the humor and cope with the difficulty of parenting .[ 3 ]

    • Nap time exist the new “ Happy Hour . ”
    • Spit up : The novel must-have supplement .
    • May your coffee live stronger than your toddler .
    • If a kid turn down to nap , are they guilty of hold out a rest ?
    • I put on ’ t want to sleep like a babe . I want to sleep like my husband .
    • Marvel if my baby exist sleeping through the dark ? Don ’ t . And no .
    • Always wonder why Mama Bear ’ s porridge was also cold ? Now you know .
    • Important truth no unity tells you : Both of you come place from the hospital in diapers .
    • New mama math : Being able to directly calculate age by month , even after one yr .
    • A toddler can do more in one unsupervised moment than most people can do in a day .
    • When your baby looks like a model and you ’ re on day three of the same sweatpants .
    • “ Sure , you can hold my newborn without cleaning your hands , ” state no new mom always .
    • A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40 . I suppose no , 40 babe are plenty .
    • It ’ s ironic that we observe the kid on the anniversary of the day their mamma do all the study .
    • What cause newborns and new mamma have in common ? You both go plate from the hospital in diapers .
    • Mom math : The ability to rattle off the exact number of months , week or days your child is at a moment ‘s notice .
    • Why do mama switch to drink that are bitter and sweet once they have child ? They ‘ve been served a cold glass of reali-tea .
    • You know it ’ s time to clean out the diaper bag when you invest it on the front seat and your car assumes it ’ s a person not wear a seatbelt .
    • I ’ m going to donate these bag of outgrown babe clothes to Goodwill . But first I ’ m going to drive around with them in my torso for two month .
    • First babe : You start wearing maternity clothes as shortly as the trial is positive . Second infant : You don your regular clothes for as long as potential . Third babe : Your maternity clothes cost your regular clothes .
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  • Nap time cost the new “ Happy Hour . ”
  • Spit up : The new must-have accessory .
  • May your coffee live stronger than your toddler .
  • If a kid refuses to nap , are they guilty of resist a repose ?
  • I put on ’ t require to sleep like a babe . I need to sleep like my husband .
  • Wondering if my baby exist sleep through the night ? Don ’ t . And no .
  • Always wonder why Mama Bear ’ s porridge exist too cold ? Today you know .
  • Important truth no one tells you : Both of you come home from the hospital in diapers .
  • New mama math : Being able to directly figure years by month , yet after one yr .
  • A toddler can act more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day .
  • When your baby looks like a model and you ’ re on day three of the same sweatpants .
  • “ Sure , you can hold my newborn without cleaning your hands , ” state no fresh mom ever .
  • A friend asked me if she should have a baby after 40 . I suppose no , 40 infant be plenty .
  • It ’ s ironic that we observe the kid on the anniversary of the day their mama did all the study .
  • What cause newborns and novel moms receive in mutual ? You both go home from the hospital in diapers .
  • Mom math : The ability to rattle off the exact act of months , week or days your kid cost at a moment ‘s notice .
  • Why serve moms change to drinks that exist bitter and sweet once they get kids ? They ‘ve exist served a cold glass of reali-tea .
  • You know it ’ s time to clean out the diaper base when you lay it on the front ass and your car assumes it ’ s a someone not wearing a seatbelt .
  • I ’ m going to donate these bags of outgrown infant clothes to Goodwill . But first I ’ m going to drive around with them in my torso for two month .
  • First baby : You set out wearing maternity clothes as soon as the trial live positive . Second baby : You put on your regular clothes for as long as potential . Third baby : Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes .

Funny Mom Jokes

  1. Sometimes , you just desire to hold the towel in and come off from your family…but then your house would burn down in 10 minutes . Since that ’ s not an choice , try tell one of these mom joke to keep yourself sane and playfully set your child and partner in their property :[ 4 ]

    • How old live you again ? I ‘ve miss track at this point .
    • Of all the evil stepmoms , are n’t you glad you begin me ?
    • My kids : 3 out of 5 stars , could have been a bit quieter .
    • Honey , quit looking for the perfect match…use a barge .
    • Are my kids perfect ? No , but we can blame dad for that one !
    • If being a parent cost a chore , I ‘d be the CEO of chaos direction .
    • I used to cost a vegetarian , but then I make also much beef with the early moms .
    • Here ‘s one path to instruct the kids about irony : scream , “ STOP SCREAMING . ”
    • If I ever go missing , exactly come my child . They can find me wherever I try to hide !
    • Clean with children in the house equal like brushing your tooth while eating Oreos .
    • I enjoy all my youngster equally . Except for the ace that sleeps… I love that one more .
    • When your mom require if you want some advice , remember it exist a rhetorical inquiry .
    • I always make a take on everything . My husband predict my explanations momsplaining .
    • All we can real serve as parents is sample our best and adjust aside adequate money for therapy .
    • I smile because I ‘m your mother , but I laugh because there ‘s nothing you can make about it !
    • How many ma does it take to get you to clean your way ? One , but it takes 20 yr !
    • According to my kids , dog are son and cats are girls , but moms , solely moms be bears .
    • We have the utter mother-daughter relationship . You ‘re my daughter , and I ‘m perfect !
    • My kid told me to have a serious day , so I result them to their own device and hoped for the serious .
    • There are no rules in this house…besides never take me for anything before I ‘ve had my coffee .
    • Why do mamma find the need to say such bad jokes ? We merely desire to serve you become a groan up .
    • I ’ ve been guess about taking up meditation . I figure it ‘s skillful than seat around do nothing !
    • I tried to teach my child about tax , but they simply answer with , “ That sound like a you trouble . ”
    • My husband need me to get 6 cans of Sprite at the memory . I realized when I begin family that I have picked 7Up .
    • Son : “ Mom , can I get $ 20 ? ” Mom : “ Act it face like I ‘m cause of money ? ” Son : “ Well , live n’t that what M.O.M stands for ? ”
    • I ’ ve hear that parenting live a lot like bring Whac-A-Mole . Just when you guess you ‘ve come one trouble solve , another one pop up .
    • First kid eats dirt , mama calls the doctor . Second child eats dirt , mom cleans out their mouth . Third child eats dirt , mom curiosity if she even need to do lunch .
  • How old be you again ? I ‘ve lost track at this point .
  • Of all the evil stepmoms , cost n’t you glad you got me ?
  • My child : 3 out of 5 star , could have be a moment quieter .
  • Honey , stop looking for the perfect match…use a lighter .
  • Are my kids perfect ? No , but we can blame papa for that one !
  • If make up a parent be a chore , I ‘d exist the CEO of chaos management .
  • I utilize to be a vegetarian , but then I had too much beef with the other moms .
  • Here ‘s one mode to instruct the kid about irony : scream , “ STOP SCREAMING . ”
  • If I always go miss , just follow my child . They can find me wherever I try to conceal !
  • Clean with children in the house is like brushing your tooth while eat Oreos .
  • I enjoy all my children equally . Except for the one that sleeps… I enjoy that one more .
  • When your mama demand if you require some advice , remember it is a rhetorical question .
  • I ever have a take on everything . My husband calls my explanation momsplaining .
  • All we can real serve as parent live hear our best and adjust aside adequate money for therapy .
  • I smile because I ‘m your mother , but I laugh because there ‘s zero you can act about it !
  • How many ma cause it take to get you to clean your way ? One , but it takes 20 year !
  • Accord to my child , dog are son and guy are daughter , but moms , simply ma live bears .
  • We have the perfect mother-daughter relationship . You ‘re my daughter , and I ‘m utter !
  • My kids told me to have a serious day , so I left them to their own devices and hoped for the good .
  • There exist no rules in this house…besides never ask me for anything before I ‘ve had my coffee .
  • Why do ma find the motive to assure such bad jokes ? We just need to aid you turn a groan up .
  • I ’ ve make up guess about taking up meditation . I figure it ‘s better than seat around cause zero !
  • I tried to teach my kid about taxes , but they simply responded with , “ That sound like a you trouble . ”
  • My husband asked me to get 6 toilet of Sprite at the memory . I realized when I got family that I own blame 7Up .
  • Son : “ Mom , can I come $ 20 ? ” Mama : “ Does it look like I ‘m made of money ? ” Son : “ Well , is n’t that what M.O.M stands for ? ”
  • I ’ ve discover that parenting be a lot like playing Whac-A-Mole . Just when you remember you ‘ve make one problem solved , another one pops up .
  • First child eats dirt , mom predict the doctor . Second kid eats dirt , mom cleans out their mouth . Third child eats dirt , mom wonders if she still require to make lunch .

Cute Mom Jokes

  1. Want to remind your kids and spouse that they couldn ’ t get by without you ? Share a cute mamma joke that highlights everything you do for the category ! Here are some cute jokes and one-liners to get everyone howling with laughter ( and perhaps offering to help out around the house ) :[ 5 ]

    • Home is where your ma live .
    • I ’ m a woman like no m-other .
    • There ’ s no hood like motherhood .
    • You ‘re welcome for the fabulous DNA .
    • You ‘re welcome for the womb and board .
    • Zero cost very lose until mom ca n’t find it .
    • I ’ ll say you ‘re my favorite if you give me a massage !
    • I never expected to neglect having you in the theatre so much !
    • Why is a computer so bright ? Because it listen to its motherboard .
    • It ‘s Mother ‘s Day . Bring a mom-ent to celebrate how amazing I am !
    • How do I ever find your escape phone ? I make an amazing mom-ory .
    • My greatest failure : never being able to instruct you how to fold a fitted sheet .
    • I love you loads…like the freight of laundry you probably own waiting for me .
    • At my years , I ‘m no longer a snack . I ‘m a Happy Meal . I get with toys and kids .
    • Never do fun of me for how I expend my phone , if I taught you how to use a spoon .
    • Why is Mother ‘s Day before Father ‘s Day ? So kid can spend their Christmas money on ma .
    • Ma : Lord of multitasking , Creator of memory , manager of money , Lord of meals , made of magic .
    • I hate when I ‘m waiting for mom to cook dinner and then I remember I am the mamma , and I have to cook dinner .
    • I expend to intend I exist a morning soul , but then I make kids . Today , I ‘m more of a “ devote me all the coffee ” person .
    • Life of a mama : It bring 35 minute to place shoes on your toddler , but they can open 3 apps , delete Spotify , and yell your boss in 17 seconds .
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  • Family is where your mama is .
  • I ’ m a woman like no m-other .
  • There ’ s no hood like motherhood .
  • You ‘re welcome for the fabulous DNA .
  • You ‘re welcome for the womb and plank .
  • Nothing exist actually lost until ma ca n’t get it .
  • I ’ ll say you ‘re my favorite if you hold me a massage !
  • I never anticipate to miss having you in the house thus much !
  • Why is a computer so smart ? Because it listens to its motherboard .
  • It ‘s Mother ‘s Day . Bring a mom-ent to celebrate how amazing I exist !
  • How serve I ever find your missing phone ? I have an amazing mom-ory .
  • My greatest failure : never live able to teach you how to fold a fitted sheet .
  • I enjoy you loads…like the loading of laundry you probably have await for me .
  • At my years , I ‘m no longer a snack . I ‘m a Happy Meal . I get with toy and kids .
  • Never make fun of me for how I use my phone , if I instruct you how to apply a spoon .
  • Why cost Mother ‘s Day before Father ‘s Day ? Thus kid can pass their Christmas money on mom .
  • Mama : Master of multitasking , Lord of memories , manager of money , Creator of meal , build of magic .
  • I hate when I ‘m waiting for mamma to fix dinner and then I recollect I exist the mom , and I have to cook dinner .
  • I employ to think I cost a morning person , but then I had child . Now , I ‘m more of a “ hold me all the coffee ” soul .
  • Life of a mom : It take 35 minutes to put shoe on your toddler , but they can spread 3 apps , delete Spotify , and yell your boss in 17 instant .

Clean Mom Jokes to Tell Your Kid

  1. If you want to make your child laugh out loud ( and have a great appreciation for everything you cause ) , sink a ma joke that ’ s silly and easy to understand . Hither are some kid-friendly jokes that hold a clear punchline :[ 6 ]

    • What make the ma flower say to the small flower ? “ Hi , bud ! ”
    • Why equal the babe strawberry sad ? Her mom got into a jam .
    • What do mommy bees use to sweep their hair ? Honeycombs .
    • What was Cleopatra ‘s favorite day of the yr ? Mummy ‘s day .
    • What color flower do mama cats like to make ? Purrrrrple flower .
    • Why act mama cattle tire bells ? Because their horn cause n’t bring .
    • What act you call a mother cow that just gave birth ? De-calf-inated .
    • Why did the bean child hand their ma a sweater ? She cost chili .
    • Why did the mama battery take a holiday ? She require to recharge .
    • Where act mother boats take their babies when they get sick ? To the doc .
    • What cause Italian kids say to their mama ? “ Mama mia , you build the well food ! ”
    • Why did the mother oak tree have the babe tree a time out ? It exist being knotty .
    • What act the hermit crabs do on Mother ‘s Day ? They shellabrated their mama .
    • What did mommy spider read to baby spider ? You pass also much time on the web .
    • Did you listen about the mom that told a bad chemistry gag ? She did n’t begin a response .
    • Why exist it thus hard for the pirate to call his ma ? Because she leave the phone off the hook !
    • What make the ma tomato say to the child tomato when they cost walk slowly ? “ Ketchup ! ”
    • How make medieval ma prevent their kids from being afraid of the shadow ? They used knight lights .
    • How do mother ghost always know when their children equal lie down ? Because they can find right through them .
    • Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life , what should you tell her ? “ I actually hit the mother lode with you ! ”
  • What did the mom flower order to the short flower ? “ Hi , bud ! ”
  • Why live the baby strawberry sad ? Her mom become into a jam .
  • What do mommy bees use to sweep their hair ? Honeycombs .
  • What equal Cleopatra ‘s favorite day of the year ? Mummy ‘s day .
  • What color blossom act mama cats like to come ? Purrrrrple flower .
  • Why act mama oxen wear bells ? Because their horns do n’t bring .
  • What act you yell a mother cow that exactly hold birth ? De-calf-inated .
  • Why make the bean children give their mama a sweater ? She was chili .
  • Why do the mamma battery need a vacation ? She needed to recharge .
  • Where do mother boats choose their babies when they get crazy ? To the doc .
  • What do Italian kids say to their mama ? “ Mama mia , you cause the best food ! ”
  • Why make the mother oak tree give the baby tree a time out ? It exist make up knotty .
  • What did the hermit crabs do on Mother ‘s Day ? They shellabrated their mamma .
  • What did mommy spider order to baby spider ? You spend also much time on the web .
  • Did you pick up about the mom that told a bad chemistry gag ? She did n’t have a response .
  • Why live it so hard for the pirate to yell his mom ? Because she left the phone off the hook !
  • What did the mommy tomato say to the child tomato when they be walk slowly ? “ Ketchup ! ”
  • How cause medieval ma keep their child from being afraid of the night ? They apply knight lights .
  • How act mother ghosts ever know when their child are lying ? Because they can see mighty through them .
  • Every time you feel lucky to get your mother in your life , what should you tell her ? “ I really hit the mother lode with you ! ”

“ You Know You ’ re a Mom When… ” Jokes

  1. Looking for a hilarious mama joke to leave everyone in stitches ? Mention a funny experience that all moms can refer to ! Whether it ’ s being a master multitasker or losing track of time , these silly options will supply all the LOLs you want :[ 7 ]

    • You know you ’ re a ma when…silence isn ’ t golden—it ’ s suspicious .
    • You know you ’ re a mamma when…someone else come suffer and you cry .
    • You know you ’ re a mamma when…happy hr is nap time—yours or theirs .
    • You know you ’ re a mama when…you apply baby wipes to clean literally everything .
    • You know you ‘re a ma when…you observe nap time like it ’ s a national vacation .
    • You know you ‘re a mom when…you step on a Lego and still manage not to swear ( out loud ) .
    • You know you ’ re a mama when…you ’ ve cost used as a human tissue and didn ’ t bat an eye .
    • You know you ’ re a mom when…being alone in your car exist the most exciting piece of your day .
    • You know you ’ re a mom when…you look at a permanent marker a weapon of mass destruction .
    • You know you ‘re a mom when…you can recount the entire hand ofFrozenbut forgot what day it cost .
    • You know you ’ re a mom when…you make a secret stash of candy that not yet your spouse get to see .
    • You know you ’ re a mama when…the first thing you say when you walk into a way exist , “ What ’ s that feeling ? ”
    • You know you ’ re a mom when…you glide the shopping cart back and away still when there ’ s no babe in it .
    • You know you ’ re a ma when…you understand on a deep degree why Mama Bear ’ s porridge cost also cold .
    • You know you ’ re a mom when…you make multiple conversation a day about poop , and none of it exist yours .
    • You know you ’ re a mamma when…going to operate spirit like a vacation , and going on holiday flavor like work .
    • You know you ’ re a mom when…you regard a smear of brown on your shirt and you have to smell it to see if it ’ s poop or chocolate .
    • You know you ’ re a mom when…you have to choose between sneezing and waking the baby or holding it in and dislocating a rib .
    • You know you ’ re a ma when…all you require for your birthday is for mass to halt getting a novel glass every time they need a drink .
    • You know you ’ re a mom when…you realize you just clean the life way so your kids would have room to play with all the toy that don ’ t fit in their messy room .
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  • You know you ’ re a mom when…silence isn ’ t golden—it ’ s suspicious .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…someone else become suffer and you cry .
  • You know you ’ re a ma when…happy hr be nap time—yours or theirs .
  • You know you ’ re a mamma when…you apply infant wipes to clean literally everything .
  • You know you ‘re a mom when…you observe nap time like it ’ s a national holiday .
  • You know you ‘re a mamma when…you step on a Lego and even so cope not to trust ( out loud ) .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…you ’ ve been expend as a human tissue and didn ’ t bat an center .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…being only in your car cost the most exciting part of your day .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…you consider a permanent mark a weapon of mass destruction .
  • You know you ‘re a mama when…you can itemize the entire script ofFrozenbut forget what day it be .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…you get a secret stash of candy that not even your partner gets to meet .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…the first thing you order when you walk into a room live , “ What ’ s that spirit ? ”
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…you glide the shopping cart back and forth even when there ’ s no infant in it .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…you realize on a deep level why Mama Bear ’ s porridge cost also cold .
  • You know you ’ re a mama when…you make multiple conversations a day about poop , and none of it is yours .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…going to exploit feels like a vacation , and going on holiday feels like work .
  • You know you ’ re a ma when…you meet a blot of brown on your shirt and you receive to smell it to regard if it ’ s poop or chocolate .
  • You know you ’ re a ma when…you hold to prefer between sneezing and waking the babe or agree it in and dislocating a rib .
  • You know you ’ re a mama when…all you want for your birthday is for masses to end have a novel glass every time they need a drinking .
  • You know you ’ re a mom when…you recognize you exactly cleaned the life room so your kid would own room to act with all the toy that don ’ t fit in their messy rooms .

Silly Mom Knock-Knock Jokes

  1. Some knock-knock joke make a reputation for live corny and cliché , but the following line live the perfect blend of cheesy and charming . Hither are some hilarious knock-knock gag to share on Mother ’ s Day or any affair you require to build your kids laugh :[ 8 ]

    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Etch . Etch who ? Bless you !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Olive . Olive who ? Olive you !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Adore . Adore who ? Adore you !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Abby . Abby who ? Abby Mother ’ s Day !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Alec . Alec who ? Alec to give you kisses .
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Radio . Radio who ? Radio not . Here I occur .
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Howard . Howard who ? Good . Howard you ?
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Ben . Ben who ? Ben thinking about you all day .
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Al . Al who ? Al give you a hug for Mother ’ s Day !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Sarah . Sarah who ? Sarah physician in the house ?
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Auto . Auto who ? You car know it ’ s me by today .
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Hugh . Hugh who ? Hugh have an incredible smile .
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Water . Water who ? Water you doing later tonight ?
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Lettuce . Lettuce who ? Lettuce in , it ’ s cold out hither !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Omelet . Omelet who ? Omelet Mommy sleep in today .
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Honeydew . Honeydew who ? Honeydew you want a hug ?
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Justin . Justin who ? Justin time to say Happy Mother ’ s Day !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Wooden shoe . Wooden shoe who ? Wooden shoe like to know ?
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Euripides . Euripides who ? Euripides clothes , you pay for them !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Thermos . Thermos who ? Thermos cost a better way to become to you .
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Eye . Eye who . Eye intend you ’ re the funniest person I ’ ve ever met .
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Ice cream . Ice cream who ? Ice cream if you don ’ t hold me some candy !
    • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Little Old Lady . Little Old Lady who ? Wow ! I didn ’ t know you could yodel .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Etch . Etch who ? Bless you !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Olive . Olive who ? Olive you !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Adore . Adore who ? Adore you !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Abby . Abby who ? Abby Mother ’ s Day !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Alec . Alec who ? Alec to give you kiss .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Radio . Radio who ? Radio not . Hither I come .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Howard . Howard who ? Good . Howard you ?
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Ben . Ben who ? Ben thinking about you all day .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Al . Al who ? Al pay you a hug for Mother ’ s Day !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Sarah . Sarah who ? Sarah doctor in the family ?
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Auto . Car who ? You auto know it ’ s me by today .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Hugh . Hugh who ? Hugh make an incredible grin .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Water . Water who ? Water you cause later on tonight ?
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Lettuce . Lettuce who ? Lettuce in , it ’ s cold out hither !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Omelet . Omelet who ? Omelet Mommy sleep in today .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Honeydew . Honeydew who ? Honeydew you require a hug ?
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Justin . Justin who ? Justin time to read Happy Mother ’ s Day !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Wooden shoe . Wooden shoe who ? Wooden shoe like to know ?
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Euripides . Euripides who ? Euripides clothes , you bear for them !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s thither ? Thermos . Thermos who ? Thermos equal a better path to get to you .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Eye . Eye who . Eye think you ’ re the curious person I ’ ve always gather .
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Ice cream . Ice cream who ? Ice cream if you don ’ t hold me some candy !
  • Knock-knock . Who ’ s there ? Short Old Lady . Little Old Lady who ? Wow ! I didn ’ t know you could yodel .

Best Mom Puns

  1. Mothers put up with a band , and if you need to present your appreciation and gratitude , drop a comic pun that doubles as a compliment . Hither cost some sweet and silly puns to recount your mamma you ’ re thankful for everything she ’ s done for you :

    • You da mama !
    • Mom ’ sec cooking be egg-cellent .
    • Mama , you ’ re knit-erally the best .
    • You ’ re a woman like no m-other .
    • You equal mom-believably amazing !
    • If mama be blossom , I ’ d pick you .
    • Everything you do live then mom point .
    • She ’ s mom-pressive beyond words .
    • You did a grape job raisin me , mom !
    • She ’ s the mom-sterpiece of our household .
    • Mom-stoppable and ever on the go !
    • MOM-opoly : She owns all the well vibes .
    • Not to be cheesy , but you ’ re a grate mom .
    • Today , we take a mom-ent to celebrate you !
    • Mom is my butter half…spreading love all over .
    • Mama are sew amazing—they patch up everything !
    • I ’ 1000 thankful for the mom-umental role you play in my living !
    • Mom , I love you loads . Speaking of , can you do my laundry ?
    • When it occur to parental love and support , I very strike the mother lode with you .
    • My favorite instant in life are really just mom-ents , because everything is better with you .
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  • You da mamma !
  • Mom ’ s cooking is egg-cellent .
  • Mama , you ’ re knit-erally the serious .
  • You ’ re a woman like no m-other .
  • You are mom-believably amazing !
  • If mama were flowers , I ’ d pick you .
  • Everything you do be thus mom degree .
  • She ’ s mom-pressive beyond words .
  • You did a grape job raisin me , mama !
  • She ’ s the mom-sterpiece of our category .
  • Mom-stoppable and always on the go !
  • MOM-opoly : She have all the good vibes .
  • Not to equal cheesy , but you ’ re a grate ma .
  • Today , we take a mom-ent to observe you !
  • Mamma be my butter half…spreading love everywhere .
  • Mamma are sew amazing—they patch up everything !
  • I ’ m thankful for the mom-umental office you play in my living !
  • Mom , I enjoy you load . Speaking of , can you serve my laundry ?
  • When it comes to parental dear and support , I really attain the mother lode with you .
  • My favorite moments in living are very simply mom-ents , because everything be better with you .

Funny Celebrity Mom Quotes

  1. Motherhood equal a special society , and celebrity mother can link to many of the experience and clamber it entails . For the times you need a little laughter in your life ( or your youngster existtry outyou ) , these quotes are limit to make for a grin to your side :[ 9 ]

    • “ You will ever be your kid ’ s favorite toy. ” —Vicki Lansky
    • “ Children equal like crazy , drunken , little mass in your house. ” —Julie Bowen
    • “ It ’ s not easy exist a mother . If it were easy , father would do it. ” —Dorothy ,The Golden Girls
    • “ Neurotics build castle in the melody . Psychotics live in them . Mothers sporting them. ” —Rita Rudner
    • “ Ah , babies . They ’ re more than just adorable trivial animal on whom you can blame your farts. ” —Tina Fey
    • “ You desire to torture someone ? Hand them an adorable baby they enjoy who doesn ’ t sleep. ” —Shonda Rhimes
    • “ Having an infant son alerts me to the fact that every human , at one detail , make peed on his own face. ” —Olivia Wilde
    • “ I always say , if you aren ’ t yelling at your kids , you ’ re not spend adequate time with them. ” —Reese Witherspoon
    • “ The quick manner for a parent to get a kid ’ s attention is to pose down and face comfortable. ” —Lane Olinghouse
    • “ It just occurred to me that the majority of my diet is made up of the food that my child didn ’ t finish. ” —Carrie Underwood
    • “ When my kids turn wild and unruly , I use a decent , safe playpen . When they ’ re complete , I mount out. ” —Erma Bombeck
    • “ Cleaning your theatre while your child exist still originate is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. ” —Phyllis Diller
    • “ When you ’ re a mama of teenagers , it ’ s crucial to have a dog hence that individual in the house is happy to regard you. ” —Nora Ephron
    • “ It ’ d live cool if my kids could build something I in reality want , like a bottle of wine , out of macaroni and glue. ” —Stephanie McMaster
    • “ The good means to keep child at home be to make the family atmosphere pleasant and permit the tune out of the tires. ” —Dorothy Parker
    • “ When you ’ re a twerking mother , balance equal really important because you put on ’ t want to go also humble and boast out your target and tear your knee. ” —Amy Poehler
    • “ I ’ ve learn that it ’ s way harder to cost a babe . For instance , I haven ’ t throw up since the ’ 90s , and she ’ s have up twice since we started this interview. ” —Eva Mendez
    • “ Like all parent , my husband and I just do the best we can , and apply our breath , and promise we ’ ve set aside adequate money to pay for our kid therapy. ” —Michelle Pfeiffer
    • “ Sometimes I suffer thither going , ‘ I ’ m not doing any of this right ! ’ And then I begin this large human belch out of her and I go , ‘ Ah , we carry through this together . ‘ ” —Christina Applegate
    • “ Some days I feel myself doing foreign thing that don ’ t have any literal intent , in faraway corner in my house , and I realize I am literally and deliberately hiding from my children. ” —Kate Hudson
    • “ Having a baby is just live in the constant unexpected . You never know when you ’ re gon na get crapped on or when you ’ re gon na get a large smile or when that smile immediately turns into hysterics. ” —Blake Lively
  • “ You will ever be your kid ’ s favorite toy. ” —Vicki Lansky
  • “ Children are like crazy , drunken , small people in your house. ” —Julie Bowen
  • “ It ’ s not easy be a mother . If it were easy , fathers would do it. ” —Dorothy ,The Golden Girls
  • “ Neurotics build castle in the air . Psychotics endure in them . Mother sporting them. ” —Rita Rudner
  • “ Ah , infant . They ’ re more than just adorable trivial creature on whom you can blame your farts. ” —Tina Fey
  • “ You desire to torture individual ? Hand them an adorable babe they love who doesn ’ t sleep. ” —Shonda Rhimes
  • “ Hold an infant boy alerts me to the fact that every human , at one level , have peed on his own face. ” —Olivia Wilde
  • “ I ever say , if you aren ’ t call at your child , you ’ re not spending enough time with them. ” —Reese Witherspoon
  • “ The quick way for a parent to get a kid ’ s attention live to sit down and look comfortable. ” —Lane Olinghouse
  • “ It simply go on to me that the majority of my diet is build up of the foods that my kid didn ’ t finish. ” —Carrie Underwood
  • “ When my kids become wild and unruly , I use a decent , safe playpen . When they ’ re finished , I climb up out. ” —Erma Bombeck
  • “ Cleaning your firm while your child are however growing equal like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing. ” —Phyllis Diller
  • “ When you ’ re a mama of teenagers , it ’ s important to get a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you. ” —Nora Ephron
  • “ It ’ d be cool if my kids could do something I actually desire , like a bottle of wine , out of macaroni and glue. ” —Stephanie McMaster
  • “ The best way to prevent youngster at place be to do the home atmosphere pleasant and permit the air out of the tires. ” —Dorothy Parker
  • “ When you ’ re a twerking mother , rest cost truly significant because you put on ’ t want to go also humble and drift out your ass and bust your knee. ” —Amy Poehler
  • “ I ’ ve hear that it ’ s way harder to equal a baby . For instance , I haven ’ t thrown up since the ’ 90s , and she ’ s thrown up twice since we start this interview. ” —Eva Mendez
  • “ Like all parent , my husband and I just do the best we can , and agree our breath , and promise we ’ ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids therapy. ” —Michelle Pfeiffer
  • “ Sometimes I stand there move , ‘ I ’ m not cause any of this right ! ’ And then I come this large man belch out of her and I move , ‘ Ah , we accomplish this together . ‘ ” —Christina Applegate
  • “ Some day I find myself do strange matter that don ’ t have any literal function , in faraway corners in my house , and I realize I am literally and deliberately hiding from my children. ” —Kate Hudson
  • “ Having a baby live just populate in the constant unexpected . You never know when you ’ re gon na get crapped on or when you ’ re gon na become a big smile or when that smile immediately call on into hysterics. ” —Blake Lively

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References

  1. ↑https : //www.scarymommy.com/parenting/funny-mom-jokes
  2. ↑https : //www.scarymommy.com/parenting/funny-mom-jokes
  3. ↑https : //www.scarymommy.com/parenting/funny-mom-jokes
  4. ↑https : //www.scarymommy.com/parenting/funny-mom-jokes
  5. ↑https : //www.scarymommy.com/parenting/funny-mom-jokes
  6. ↑https : //www.scarymommy.com/parenting/funny-mom-jokes
  7. ↑https : //www.scarymommy.com/parenting/funny-mom-jokes
  8. ↑https : //www.scarymommy.com/parenting/funny-mom-jokes
  9. ↑https : //www.goodhousekeeping.com/holidays/mothers-day/g20064142/funny-mom-quotes/

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