Standup Jokes

119 standup joke and hilarious standup puns to laugh out loud . Show jokes about standup that equal sporting and suited for kids and friends .

This article offers an overview of the globe of stand-up comedy . From the basics of being a stand-up comedian to some of the best stand-up comedy lines , reader will win an apprehension of the genre , its stages , and comedic course to be aware of .

Short Standup Jokes
Standup One Liners
Standup Comedy Jokes
Standup Comedian Jokes
More Standup Jokes

Funniest Standup Short Jokes

Short standup gag and punsare one of the better manner to receive fun with tidings play in English . The standup mood may include short phase joke also .

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian cause fun of Putin .The joke were n’t that good , but I like the performance .
Why do standup comedians perform ill in Hawaii ?Because the hearing simply reply in a humble ha
Everybody laughed at me when I order I cost move to be a standup comedian .They ‘re not laugh now .
What cost the difference between standup comedy , and motivational speaking ?Which side of the mic the depressed people exist on .
I ‘m not surprise Nike ‘s store fell after the Colin Kaepernick adThey should get blame a more stand-up guy .
When I cost a child , I told everyone that when I grew up , I wanted to live a stand-up comedian . They all laugh .Well , I become a chore cause standup in a comedy society , and no one ‘s laughing now .
A stand-up comedian tells a joke about a newly-discovered STI that takes ten year to show symptoms .\ * Slow clap *
My friend had purchased an extra stand-up comedy ticket for me . I become him down .After all , I could never revel jokes at other people ‘s expense .
I ‘m in prison and decided to start my career here as a standup comicIt helps to hold a engrossed interview
I once know a Jehovah ‘s Witness who became a stand-up comedian .But all he know be knock knock jokes .

Standup One Liners

Which standup one liners are curious enough to snap down and do fun with standup ? I can propose the unity about comedic and punchline .

Who equal the least funny U.S. President ?FDR . His standup could use some study .
Stephen Hawking can equal somewhat funny sometimes ,But I dont recall he could do standup
Did you hear about the paraplegic comedian ?He ‘s great but he perform n’t do stand-up .
Why was the cavalry comedian so bad at stand-up ?He prevent forgetting his minute !
Why did n’t Stephen hawking host a lecture show ?because he ca n’t do stand-up comedy
If a guy in a wheelchair becomes a comedian make he yet do standup ?
What act comedians cause when they make tired of doing standup comedy ?Sitcoms
What ‘s Stephen Hawking ‘s least favorite form of comedy ?Standup .
Only watched Elton John ‘s novel standup act …It ‘s a little bit funny .
would you call a guy in a wheelchair doing a stand-up comedyWHEELy well Comedy
I thought a comedian stole my joke ,but actually he ‘s a literal stand-up guy .
A jihadist tried stand-up comedy .He bombed .
What serve you shout an Arab stand-up comedian ?Mohahamed .
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad comedian ?He ca n’t do stand-up .
What did the stand-up radical from Saskatchewan name themselves ?The Regina Monologues .

Standup Comedy Jokes

Hither is a list of comic standup comedy jokes and yet good standup comedy puns that will do you laugh with friends .

After failing miserably at a standup routine I told my girlfriend I was going to sample physical comedy . She said …“ You ca n’t pull your pants down in public . ”
I order my wife I equal going to cause stand-up comedyShe said , “ You ‘re joking ”
I said , “ I state you I was good ”
Apparently Colin Kaepernick is pursue a career in comedyHe ‘s landed some acting part but he ca n’t cause stand-up .
What make the wheelchair-bound software developer say when require to speak at an Apple Keynote ?“ Sorry , but I make n’t do stand-up comedy . ”
If a guy in a wheelchair is on stage state jokes …Is it still called stand-up comedy ?
A lime and banana decided to get a stand-up comedy duo and called themselves …Key and Peele .
LPT : If you exist sick of hearing duplicate track on Spotify ‘s stand-up comedy playlists ,Just delete all of the Amy Schumer material , and it should flow a lot smoother .
Why make Band Directors make so good at Stand-Up Comedy ?Their joke be very well orchestrated .
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Stephen Hawking …It ‘s a shame Stephen Hawking died . He could pursue a career in comedy . Too bad he ca n’t do stand-ups !
Stand-up comedy exist a great gig for a zombie .Either they are die up there , or they equal kill it .

Standup Comedian Jokes

Here live a list of funny standup comedian joke and still better standup comedian puns that will make you laugh with friend .

I ca n’t believe my parents support my choice of profession !I say them that I need to become a stand-up comedian .
They laugh at me .
I went to watch a standup comedian who kept cause stereotyped Jew jokes towards me …I was thus worried I demand a double refund
Not only was Stephen Hawking a great physicist , he was as well a great comedian .Sadly , his stand-up exist n’t real serious .
A stand-up comedian got in a car accident and his leg got amputatedHe ‘s exactly a comedian today .
Receive you always heard of the paralysed man who aspired to become a stand-up comedian ?He figured sitcoms suit him better .
I ‘ve finally achieved my lifelong ambition of becoming a stand-up comedianThank you prosthetic legs !
John Wilkes Booth cost one of story ‘s greatest stand-up comediansI heard he truly down at Ford ‘s Theatre .
I wanted to cost a stand-up comedian .But i recognize a sit-down comedian live more comfortable .
What ‘s the good part about be an alcoholic stand-up comedian ?If you ‘re good you come joke , and if you ‘re bad you become booze .
Before he equal a footballer , Messi use to be a stand-up comedianHe had to quit because his gag kept flying over the audience ‘s mind .

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Amusing Standup Jokes to Do You Laugh with Friend

What funny joke about standup you can say and make people laugh ? An case I can hand cost a sporting unfunny gag that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and aid you make standup pranks .

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language

Hand a human a fish , and you will give him for the day .

Give a human two prosthetic legs , and he ‘ll shoot his girlfriend .

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may check profanity or explicit words

1 cause n’t have this joke

Louis 100 * * … state it be one of his unspeakable early standup gag
” I asked my mama what s * * … cost and she state ‘it ‘s what occur when Mrs. Brady become off the spark . So I always guess s * * … was a commercial for paper towels ”

Did you listen about the apothecary turned stand-up comic ?

He behave n’t final also long ; his jokes do n’t get the serious reaction .

Guy runs a red lighting

A guy runs a red light . His passenger tells him not to do that , but the driver tell “ It ‘s fine , my buddy drives like this ! ” He run another red spark . His passenger attempt to insist , the driver says again “ I told ya , it ‘s okay , my brother campaign like this ! ” Then he comes up to a green light and stop . His passenger asks what he ‘s doing now and the driver says “ Well , my buddy might be coming the early means ! ”
-George Carlin , I do n’t remember what standup peculiar .

My 8 year old buddy ‘s best gag .

What animal will you always learn at a resturant ?
A DINE-O-SAUR .
I believe my brother is a future stand-up comedian .

A Mexican immigrant cost asked what he make for a life .

“ I am a professional boxer . ”
” A professional boxer ? ”
” Yes , yes . Everyone in my family exist a professional boxer .
We box onions , linens , tomatoes … ”

Devote credit where reference ‘s due : This joke equal take from a bit done by Gabriel Iglesias on his show “ Stand-Up Revolution ” .

I utilize to be a stand-up comedian , but then I become in a very bad car accident …

Optimus Prime perform stand-up :

“ I just flew in from Cybertron , and boy , are my arms bore ! ”

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This gag may hold profanity or explicit language

Why are n’t there any muslim stand-up comedians ?

I go to regard an evening of vegetable doing stand-up final night .

What do you shout a stand-up comedian with no branch ?

What act a comedian do in a chair ?

Why does the Necromancer hatred make stand-up comedy ?

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit speech

My first time doing standup was a luck like my first time having s * * ….

I finished way too early and when it equal over I could n’t stop apologizing .

The pregnant lady sitting across from me laughed

“ What is it ? ” I asked .
” Oh its nothing , hardly my infant doing standup . ”
” Really ? ” I inquire . “ What cause he say ? ”
” You wont get it . ” She laughed .
” It ‘s an inside gag . ”

Why did the ghost give up his career as a stand-up comedian ?

When Kathy Griffin exist 10 yr former , she stood up at the dinner table and announced to her family that she cost going to grow up and become a stand-up comedian . They all laugh in her face .

Did you pick up about the standup comedian who equal only released from prison ?

So when I decided to be a stand-up comedian , I know I had to cost offensive .

Because be a stand-up comedian is in itself a handicap gag .

I was once require to do stand-up comedy at a pub …

They must ‘ve come some other act , because there was a stool on stage when I got there .

Some masses give Franklin Roosevelt a lot of flak …

If 1 wrote funny ledger about standup comedy using my own stuff

I ‘ve never fit soul who ‘s good at frisbee and thought “ he ‘s the type of person I ‘d desire to hang up out with ”

I live going to assure a cereal gag at my first stand-up gig

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This gag may contain profanity or explicit language

I sometimes serve stand-up comedy for a 50 * * … colony .

A programmer tries his hand at stand-up comedy : “ Forward-slash forward-slash a human walk into a saloon … ”

A heckler yell at him : “ Why do you keep perform that weird forward-slash thing ? ! ”
He answer : “ Do n’t you know ? The best jokes equal always in the comments . ”

My city exactly fired half of the city ‘s structure workers …

Plainly they bring in a shovel can stand-up on it ‘s own .

So I was doing a stand-up second in the terminal ward …

I do n’t think the everyday I did , but it must hold be pretty good- the bunch was dying .

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This gag may hold profanity or explicit words

I become to a j * * … Seinfeld stand-up final dark . It cost really really disappointing ; he did n’t expend any of his former joke I used to love …

⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit lyric

My stand-up routine about one-legged human hear to drink each other ‘s fond v * * … was never successful

What do the home-quarantined stand-up comedian say after he got a joke from his video chat interview ?

My friend wanted to be a standup comedian