270 Corny Dad Jokes Guaranteed to Make You Chuckle and Cringe

These brand-new jokes for 2025 are hilariously awful.

Proceed directly to:

• Fresh Dad Jokes for 2025
• Dad Jokes That Readers Love
• New Dad Jokes
• Hilarious Dad Jokes Featuring Animals
• Top Sports-Themed Dad Jokes You’ll Love
• The Finest Cheesy Father Jokes
• Best Single-Sentence Dad Jokes
• The Finest Fatherly Humor Puns

Were you aware that the word “dad joke” only entered the Merriam-Webster dictionary in 2019? Fathers everywhere have long been perfecting their cringe-inducing humor.wayBefore this, however, as we turn the page to 2025, it’s crucial to refresh the comedy with brand-new content. We’ve compiled a collection of countless dad-friendly jokes that he’ll enjoy adding to his repertoire, whether he needs humor for children or family-friendly jokes suitable for the workplace.

The greatest part of dad jokes is their wholesome humor, which fits almost any situation (save the edgy jokes for another time!). Though we can’t ensure they’ll get a laugh, we can assure you no one will take offense. If you’re a fan of dad jokes, share your top puns or quick quips in the comments!

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Fresh Dad Jokes for 2025

• I realized my girlfriend believed I was overstepping her boundaries when I found her journal entry mentioning it.
• Why did the electric vehicle feel unfairly treated? Because the regulations weren’t up to date.
• Even self-driving cars rely on my navigation skills—one actually stopped to ask me for directions.
• Why do melons get married? They cantelope.
• As the young bison departed from the ranch, what parting words did his father offer? Bi-son.
• Be careful with your words near the egg whites—they can’t handle a joke.
• “I’m incredibly skilled at repairs, and my guiding principle is, ‘Even if it’s broken, I’ll make sure it gets fixed.'”
• Where did the pumpkins gather for their discussion? In the gourdroom.
• Where’s the perfect place to store your dad jokes? In a dadda-base.
• I have a new pen that works underwater. It also writes other words just fine.
• My boss advised, “Dress for the position you aspire to, not the one you currently hold.” So I showed up dressed as Batman.
• I visited the aquarium over the weekend, though my stay was brief. Something about that place seems suspicious.
• What do you name a sheep that can perform songs and dance? Lady Ba Ba.
• What’s the name for a French guy in sandals? Philipe Fallop.
• Why aren’t dinosaurs able to clap their hands? Because they no longer exist.
• I assigned my handyman a list of tasks, but he completed only items 1, 3, and 5. Apparently, he specializes in odd jobs.
  
  
  
• Why should you avoid picking sides in a dinner table argument? Trick question—it’s actually the ideal moment to choose a side since nobody’s really listening. Don’t forget the Tupperware.
• Who emerged victorious in the neck adornment competition? The result was a draw.
• Where do rainbows end up when they misbehave? Sent to prism, where they can contemplate their actions.
• Dogs are incapable of operating MRI machines. However, cats can.
• How do mermaids keep their fins clean? With Tide.
• What did the frying pan enjoy on its special day? Pan-cakes.
• Why was the produce manager unable to come to work? He had the ability to drive, but he lacked the avocado.
• I attended a silent auction where I successfully bid on a dog whistle and a pair of mimes.
• Why does my wallet remind me of an onion? Because each time I check it, tears start flowing.
• What do you name a canine that practices meditation? A mindful wolf.
• What type of fish do penguins hunt after dark? Star fish.
• Which veggie boasts the finest martial arts skills? Broc-lee.
• Is it possible for a frog to leap farther than a house? Naturally, a house isn’t capable of jumping.
• Switching to a diet based entirely on almonds seemed like a good idea, but it’s completely crazy.

Dad Jokes That Readers Love

• I entered a joke contest with 10 puns, confident that at least one would take the prize. Unfortunately, no pun in ten won.
  
• The elderly man tumbled into the well because his vision wasn’t very good.
• I attempted to craft a joke about ghosts, but I failed. It was full of spirit yet lacked a body.
• Dad: How are a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue different from each other?
  Me: I’m not sure.
  Dad: You can tune a piano, but you can’t piano a tuna.
  Me: What’s the deal with the glue pot?
  Dad: I had a feeling you’d run into trouble with that.
• Two windmills stood atop a hill. The first one inquired, “Got a favorite tune?” The second responded, “Honestly… I’ve always been into heavy metal.”
• At the bank earlier, an elderly woman requested that I verify her balance… So I knocked her down.
• I received an A on my origami project after submitting my paper to the teacher.
• How many storm troopers are needed to replace a lightbulb? Zero, since they all serve the dark side.
• To warm up in a chilly house, simply step into a corner—it’s a constant 90 degrees there.
• Hi, I’m Cliff. Come by whenever you like.
• Have you heard the story about the man who visited the doctor because of a headache? The doctor checked his ear and discovered cash inside. He kept pulling out bills until he reached $1,999. Then the doctor remarked, “No surprise you’re not feeling two grand!”
• Dad, shifting the car into reverse: “Ah, this brings back memories.”
• What’s the nickname for Samsung’s security personnel? The guardians of the galaxy.
  
  
  
• I cracked a joke about retiring, but it fell flat.
• Recently, I purchased a thesaurus, but upon arriving home and opening it, I discovered every page was empty. There are no words to express my frustration.
• The tuxedo shop owner wouldn’t stop hovering while I looked around, so I told him to back off. He replied, “Alright, suit yourself.”
• Why did the egg take a break? Because it was Fryday.
• Did you ever hear about the school kidnapping? Don’t worry—he woke up.
• I discovered a book titledHow to Resolve Half of Your Challenges.I purchased two.
• Why did the coffee have a dirt-like flavor? Because it had been freshly ground moments before.
• Why did the Rolling Stones quit creating music? Because they reached the bottom of the hill.
• What makes the perfect gift? Shattered drums! They’re impossible to top.
• I once created a song about tortillas, but now it feels more like a wrap.
• Did you know courdury pillows are trending? They’re currently a hot topic.
• What does an overly curious pepper do? It ends up minding jalapeño affairs.
• Have you caught wind of the delicate myth? It’s been debunked.
• Which word becomes briefer when two extra letters are included? The answer is “short.”
• What do you call a lawbreaker piloting an aircraft? Condescending.
• I spent the entire night pondering where the sun had disappeared to, until it finally dawned on me.
• Why do residents of Greece despise rising early in the morning? Because Dawn is harsh on Greece.

Connected Narrative

• 150 Hilarious Jokes for Kids That Will Make You Laugh Along

Fresh Dad Jokes

• What’s the process for creating holy water? Simply boil all the evil out of it.
• Justice is most satisfying when delivered cold. Without that, it’s merely water.
• Why should you avoid tossing grandpa’s fake teeth at a car? You could end up denturing the vehicle.
• Why can’t Christmas trees knit properly? They keep losing their needles.
• “Why did the lunch box tell the refrigerator not to be jealous? Because it’s just a bit cooler.”
• How do you throw an out-of-this-world celebration? You planet.
• Why was the tree unable to access his computer? He couldn’t log on.
• Why did the skeleton choose that particular road? Because it was a dead end.
• What was the grape’s response after being crushed? It stayed silent, only letting out a bit of wine.
• What did the extraterrestrial tell the gardener? Lead me to your weeder.
• Me: “When I’m older, I’d like to become a writer.”
  Dad: “How about you go left instead?”
• Every apple on an apple tree comes from the tree itself.
• What did Elvis tell his gardener? Thanks a bunch for the mulch!
• Why couldn’t the lifeguard rescue the hippie? Because he was way beyond reach!
• “Go to sweep now,” the mother broom told the baby broom.
• The other day, a group of circus clowns ambushed me in a parking lot. But I came out on top because I immediately targeted the juggler.
• I’d like to give a big thanks to sidewalks for making sure I don’t end up in the road.
• Why did the computer visit the doctor? It was infected with a virus.
• How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three: his left ear, his right ear, and the legendary front-ear.
  
  
  
• Have you heard of the well-known pickle? He’s quite a significant dill.
• I browsed Amazon to purchase a lighter, but the only options available were 3,472 matches.
• What’s required to create a highway in an art studio? A mile marker.
• How does Vin Diesel maintain his connection with theFast and Furious remains an adrenaline-fueled franchise known for its high-speed chases and action-packed sequences. The series, starring Vin Diesel and Paul Walker, continues to captivate audiences with its blend of street racing and heist-driven plots. Each installment delivers intense thrills, keeping fans eagerly anticipating the next chapter.Is the crew joining via Zoom?
• What comes with four wheels and flies around? A garbage truck.
• How much does a chimney cost? It’s free—already part of the house.
• Why do just a few pairs hit the gym together? Because not all relationships last.
• You only require a parachute for your second skydive, not the first one.
• To turn 7 into an even number, simply remove the letter S.
• Sausage isn’t good for you—it brings out the Wurst in everyone.
• What’s the term for a clock that doesn’t work? A complete waste of time.
• Why did the teddy bear refuse a piece of cake? Because he was already full.
• What’s the top board game choice for astronauts? Moon-opoly.
• How is Budweiser made? Put him through school.
• Which state does Santa love to travel to the most? Ida Ho Ho Ho
• Have you ever noticed those roundabouts or navigated through them? Honestly, they serve no purpose.
• Why is a pterodactyl’s bathroom visit soundless? Because the P makes no noise.

Hilarious Dad Jokes Featuring Animals

• Which superhero do dogs love the most? Labra-Thor.
• As I strolled along the shoreline, a swimmer’s frantic cries for help caught my attention, with a shark ominously circling nearby. I couldn’t help but chuckle—it was clear that shark had no intention of lending a hand.
• What do you name a bunny infested with fleas? Bugs Bunny!
• When a chicken gazes at a salad, what comes to mind? The chicken observes the salad.
• What do you name a cow that has no legs? Ground beef!
• You’re riding a horse at full speed. Beside you, a giraffe is sprinting at the same pace, while a lion chases closely behind. What’s your move? Step away from the carousel.
• I own a horse called mayo, and mayo lets out a neigh.
• Which family does the zebra come from? Hard to tell—no household around here has a zebra.
  
  
  
• What is the most adorable marine animal? A cuddlefish.
• Why is an elephant in a telephone booth? Because it’s stuck.
• A guy entered a bar with a parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender asked, “Can that bird speak?” The parrot responded, “I have no idea.”
• What happens if you mix a parrot and a caterpillar? You end up with a tiny walkie-talkie.
• Why did the chicken go across the playground? To reach the opposite slide.
• What do you name a deer that lacks eyes? No eye deer.
• What do you name a fish that lacks eyes? Fshhhh
• A pony enters a loud bar and attempts to ask for a beer. The bartender shouts, “I can’t understand you! You need to talk louder!” The pony replies, “My apologies! I’m just a bit hoarse!”
• Why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum that it was possible.
• Why can’t dogs go into bars? It’s simple—they have no restraint when it comes to their licker!

Top Sports-Themed Dad Jokes to Make You Groan

• Why was the baseball player let go? He sprinted past three bases but strolled home.
• Why don’t fish ever join basketball games? They’re afraid of getting caught in the net.
• “Why do dads bring an additional pair of socks to the golf course?” “Just in case they score a hole in one!”
• “What do sprinters typically consume before a race?” “Nothing at all—they fast!”
• “My father shared a boxing joke with me. Seems like I didn’t catch the punch line.”
• “I don’t play soccer because I love the game. I’m only in it for fun!”
• Where can basketball players get their uniforms? New Jersey.
• Why don’t football players wear glasses during games? It’s a high-contact sport.
  
  
  
• What’s the top creature in football? A goal-pion.
• What distinguishes a quarterback from a baby? The former takes a snap, while the latter takes a nap.
• I was once obsessed with basketball, but I managed to recover.
• Why don’t pigs join soccer games? They always keep the ball to themselves.
• Why is playing tennis in the jungle a bad idea? There are far too many cheetahs around.
• A sports fan and an irritated chicken share one trait: a tendency to use foul language.
• Why was the baby unable to make a basket? He kept dribbling the ball.

Corniest Dad Jokes You’ll Ever Hear

• “I worry about the calendar. Its time is running out.”
• “My wife suggested I try lunges to keep fit. That would certainly be a major leap in the right direction.”
• “Belting out tunes in the shower is enjoyable until soap ends up in your mouth. Suddenly, it turns into a soap opera.”
• “What links a tick and the Eiffel Tower?” “Both are found in Paris.”
• “What’s the term for a fish dressed in a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
• “Where do you trail Will Smith in the snow?” “You track the fresh prints.”
• “If the rains of April lead to blossoms in May, then what follows the blooms of May?” “Pilgrims.”
• “I believed the dryer was making my clothes smaller. Apparently, the refrigerator was the real culprit.”
• “Why does dry skin make work harder?” “Because you’re out of elbow grease to give.”

• “What’s the term for a plant that produces decent goods?” “A satisfactory.”
• “Math, it’s time to take responsibility and handle your own issues.”
• “Why did the janitor yell when he leaped from the closet?” “Supplies!”
• “Did you catch the news about the chocolate record player? It seems like a deliciously fun idea.”
• “What did the sea say to the shore?” “Nothing, it simply waved.”
• “Why do seagulls prefer flying above the ocean?” “If they chose to soar over the bay instead, we’d refer to them as bagels.”
• “I’m familiar with 25 letters of the alphabet, but I’ve never figured out y.”
• “How does the moon trim his hair?” “Eclipse it.”
• “What did a wall whisper to its neighbor?” “Let’s catch up at the corner.”
• “What did the zero say to the eight?” “That belt suits you well.”
• A skeleton strolls into a bar and tells the bartender, “Give me a beer and a mop.”
• “Where do fruits take a holiday?” “Pear-is!”
• I questioned my dog about the result of two minus two. His reply was silence.
  
• “What did Baby Corn ask Mama Corn?” “Where’s Pop Corn at?”
• “What’s the greatest aspect of Switzerland?” “I’m not sure, but its flag is a huge advantage.”
• “Where do you pick up the skills to create a banana split?” “At sundae school.”
• “Which place holds more letters than the alphabet?” “The post office!”
• “Dad, did you get a haircut?” “No, I had every single one trimmed!”
• “What’s the name for a Santa Claus with no money?” “St. Nickel-less.”
• “I was asked for ID at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card slipped out by mistake. The cashier just waved it off.”
• “Where do boats go when they need medical attention?” “To the boat doc.”
• “I don’t trust those trees. They look a bit suspicious.”
• “My wife is furious because I can’t tell north from south. So I gathered my things and left!”
• Want to win over a squirrel? Just behave like a nut.
• Why can’t eggs share jokes? Because they’d end up breaking each other with laughter.
• “I don’t trust staircases. They’re constantly scheming something.”
• What do you name a person who lacks both a body and a nose? Nobody knows.
• “Have you caught wind of that butter gossip? Honestly, I’d rather not pass it around!”
• “Why did the bicycle collapse on its own? Because it was completely exhausted.”
• “What did the first hat tell the other?” “Wait here! I’ll go first.”
• “What led to Billy losing his job at the banana factory? He insisted on discarding all the curved ones.”

• “Dad, could you help me put on my shoes?” “Sorry, but I doubt they’d fit me.”
• “Why isn’t it possible for a nose to measure 12 inches in length? Simply because that would make it a foot.”
• “Hey there!” says the lemon when it picks up the call. “Yellow to you too!”
• “This cemetery appears packed. Folks must be desperate to secure a spot.”
• “What vehicle would an egg choose to drive?” “A yolkswagen.”
• “Dad, could you let the cat outside?” “I wasn’t aware it was burning.”
• “How does a taco give thanks?” “Lettuce pray.”
• “When did the man visit the dentist? At tooth hurt-y o’clock.”
• “Why didn’t the skeleton attempt to scale the mountain?” “Because it lacked the courage.”
• “Why does a snowman’s outburst have such a fitting name?” “Because it’s a meltdown.”
• How many tickles are needed to get an octopus to laugh? The answer is ten tickles.
• “I’ve got a chemistry joke, but it might not elicit much of a response.”
• “What performance only sets you back 45 cents? 50 Cent with Nickelback!”
• “What does a bee use to style its hair?” “A honeycomb!”
• What’s the secret to getting a tissue to dance? Just add a bit of boogie to it.
• “Why did the math book appear so gloomy? It was overwhelmed by all its problems!”
• “What’s the term for cheese that belongs to someone else? Nacho cheese.”
• “What footwear do ninjas prefer? Sneakers!”
• “How does a penguin construct its home? It igloos everything in place.”
• “How did Harry Potter descend the hill?” “By walking. Just kidding! Rowling.”

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

How do you organize a space party? You planet!

What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.

Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!

Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!

What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!

• “I was once hooked on soap, but I’ve kicked the habit.”
• A man enters a bar… only to get eliminated from the limbo competition.
• “You believe swimming with sharks is pricey? It cost me a fortune to swim with sharks.”
• “When two vegans have a disagreement, do they still refer to it as a beef?”
• “I got a chicken and an egg delivered by Amazon. I’ll keep you posted…”
• “Would you like a container for your leftovers?” “No, but I’d challenge you to a match for them.”
• “That car appears stylish, but the muffler looks worn out.”
• “Big thanks to my fingers—I can always rely on every single one.”
  

• When a child won’t take a nap, could it be considered resisting a rest?
• “Which nation’s capital is expanding at the highest rate?” “Ireland. Each day, it’s Dublin.”
• “I once dreamed I was drifting in a vast ocean made entirely of orange soda. It felt more like a Fanta sea.”
• A cheeseburger strolls into a pub. The bartender replies, “Sorry, we don’t offer food at this establishment.”
• “I was let go from a canned juice company once. Turns out, focusing wasn’t my strong suit.”
• “I used to play the piano by ear. These days, I rely on my hands instead.”
• “Ever attempted to grasp fog in your hands? I gave it a shot yesterday, but all I caught was mist.”
• “I follow a seafood diet—whenever I spot food, I can’t resist eating it.”
• The scarecrow earned an award—what was the reason? It’s simple: he excelled in his field.
• “I created a pencil featuring two erasers. It served no purpose.”
• “How can you get a Kleenex to dance? Just add a bit of boogie to it!”
• “I’m currently engrossed in a book on anti-gravity. It’s so captivating that I can’t seem to set it aside!”
• The man who came up with the knock-knock joke earned himself the “no-bell” prize—have you heard about him?

• “I have an excellent construction joke, but it’s still under development.”
• “I once despised facial hair…until I learned to appreciate it over time.”
• “I chose to put my vacuum cleaner up for sale—all it did was collect dust!”
• “Years ago, I got a neck brace, and it’s been smooth sailing ever since.”
• “You know, folks claim they choose their nose, but I believe mine was simply given to me at birth.”
• What’s brown and sticks to things? A stick.
• “Why is it impossible to hear a psychiatrist going to the toilet? Because the ‘P’ makes no sound.”
• What’s the term for an elephant with no significance? An irrelephant.
• “What comes from an overindulged cow? Soured milk.”
• “Dad jokes are my favorite. Every now and then, he actually finds them funny!”
• “Which insect has the most pleasant scent?” “A deodor-ant.”
• “I was once a personal trainer. Later, I submitted my resignation with insufficient notice.”
• “Have I ever mentioned the moment I fell in love while doing a backflip? I was completely upside down!”
• If a child won’t settle down for a nap, could they be accused of resisting a rest?
• “I purchased a chicken and an egg over the internet. I’ll keep you posted.”
• “Being an organ donor requires courage.”
• “Spotting a crime at an Apple Store—does that turn you into an iWitness?”
• “I’m such a pro at sleeping, I can pull it off even with my eyes shut!”
• “I had a joke about time travel ready, but it seems you weren’t a fan.”

Hilarious Fatherly Humor Puns

• “What did the veterinarian ask the cat?” “How are you feeling, feline?”
• “What do you name a sluggish young kangaroo?” “A pouch potato!”
• “What occurs when M&M’s can’t find common ground?” “They hit an M-passe.”
• “What would you name a counterfeit noodle?” “An impasta.”
  
• “Why is a belt crafted from watches so funny?” “Because it’s a waist of time.”
• “Why did the strawberry get squished while crossing the road?” “Because it caused a traffic jam.”
• “Why do two monkeys sharing an Amazon account make the perfect pair?” “Because they’re prime mates.”
• “Why is a pony with a sore throat funny?” “Because it’s a little hoarse.”
• “Why do math teachers choose Times Square for their vacations?” “Because it’s the perfect place to ‘times’ everything by a thousand!”
• Whenever I attempt to stick to a nutritious diet, a chocolate bar catches my eye and Snickers.
• “Why does garlic react the way it does in high temperatures?” “It simply sheds its cloves.”
• “What do robots love to munch on?” “Computer chips.”
• “How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?” “Not a thing—it’s complimentary.”
• Mountains aren’t merely amusing. They’re elevated landforms.

• “Why do clouds always dress appropriately?” “Because they never forget their thunderwear.”
• “Why are piggy banks so smart?” “Because they’re packed with common cents.”
• “Why does Peter Pan stay in the air so much?” “Because he never lands.”
• “How can you secure a great deal on a sled?” “You need to toboggan.”
• “How do you identify a dogwood tree?” “Look at its bark.”
• “I once disliked facial hair, but over time, I came to appreciate it.”
• Telling a “dad joke” when you’re not a father is out of place. It’s a social misstep.
• “What do you name a hot dog that’s rolling down the street?” “Fast food!”
• “Where do saplings go to get their education?” “Elementree school.”
• The circus fire—did you catch the news? It was literally in tents.
• “Can February March? No, but April May!”
• “What’s the legal way to bid farewell? We’ll be suing you!”
• Want to know a joke about paper? Forget it—it’s tearable.
• “What’s the ideal method to catch a fly fishing tournament? Tune in to the live stream.”
• “Spring has arrived! I was so thrilled that I watered my plants a little too enthusiastically.”
• “I might share a pizza joke, but it’s somewhat cheesy.”

• “Never rely on atoms. They constitute absolutely everything!”
• A dad joke is born the moment its punchline becomes painfully obvious.
• “I’d never purchase anything that uses velcro. It’s a complete scam.”
• Why do astronauts love computers so much? Because of the space bar.
• “Why are elevator jokes always a hit? They operate on multiple levels.”
• “Why is bees’ hair always sticky? It’s because they rely on a honeycomb.”
• Which state boasts the highest number of streets? The answer is Rhode Island.
• “What did the coffee tell the officers? It was a mugging.”
• When the fish bumped into the wall, what did it exclaim? Dam.
• “Can you dive safely in this pool? The deep end is over there.”
• “Spotting a crime at the Apple store—what does that turn you into?” “An iWitness.”

Get Ready for the Holiday Season with an Extra Dose of Laughter

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