Hilarious Brief Tales
While LaffGaff primarily focuses on quick jokes, it doesn’t imply we don’t appreciate humorous short tales or extended jokes. Quite the opposite—we adore them! That’s why we’ve compiled our top picks of amusing short stories for your enjoyment.
Aerial Tour by Helicopter
Every year, Walter brought his wife Ethel to the state fair, and each time he’d tell her, “Ethel, you know I’d really enjoy taking a ride in that helicopter.” Yet Ethel would inevitably respond, “I’m aware of that, Walter, but that helicopter ride costs 50 dollars, and 50 dollars is still 50 dollars.”
At last, they arrived at the fair, and Walter turned to Ethel, saying, “Ethel, you’re aware I’m 87 now. If I don’t take that helicopter ride this year, I might never have another opportunity.” Ethel responded once more, “Walter, you know the helicopter costs 50 dollars, and 50 dollars is still 50 dollars.”
This time, the helicopter pilot caught the couple’s discussion and offered, “Here’s the deal—I’ll give you both a ride. If neither of you speaks a single word during the entire flight, it’s free. But if even one word is said, you’ll owe me 50 dollars.”
Walter and Ethel nodded in agreement and ascended in the helicopter. The pilot executed a series of intricate maneuvers and stunts, yet neither Walter nor Ethel uttered a single word.
The pilot repeated his daring aerial stunts time after time, yet not a single word was spoken in response.
After touching down, the pilot looked at Walter and remarked, “Incredible! I have to admit, I tried my hardest to make you yell or react, but you stayed completely calm. That’s seriously impressive!”
Walter responded, “Honestly, I nearly spoke up when Ethel took her tumble, but hey—fifty bucks is fifty bucks!”
Psychic Daughter
One evening, as Bill tucks his young daughter into bed, he overhears her reciting her prayers while he steps out of the room. She softly murmurs, “God bless mommy, daddy, and grandma, rest in peace grandpa.”
Bill hurries back to her bedroom and questions her, “Why did you say that last part?” His daughter responds, “Because I had to.” The following day, her grandpa passes away from a heart attack. Bill feels concerned about his daughter but tells himself, “It’s probably just an unfortunate coincidence.”
That evening, he settles his daughter into bed once more and listens as she recites her prayers. She murmurs, “God bless mommy and daddy, and may grandma rest in peace.”
Bill is deeply troubled, silently wondering, “Is it possible my daughter can actually foresee what’s to come?” The following day, his grandmother passes away, leaving Bill certain that his daughter has the ability to predict future events.
For the remainder of the week, nothing occurs, but come Sunday evening, as Bill exits his daughter’s room, he pauses outside and listens carefully for further prayers.
As expected, he catches her words: “God bless you, mommy, and rest in peace, daddy.” At this, Bill’s fear spikes, and he can’t help but think, “Oh no, my time is up—I’ll be gone by tomorrow!”
The next day, Bill is utterly disheveled at work, a total bundle of nerves. He keeps glancing at the clock, scanning the room, and remains tense, convinced death could come for him any second.
His anxiety is so intense that he stays in the office well after midnight. When the clock finally strikes twelve, he mutters in disbelief, “How can this be? I should be dead by now!”
He returns home and steps inside to discover his wife on the couch, her expression filled with fear. She turns to him and demands, “Where were you? Why did it take you so long?”
Bill responds, “Sweetheart, today hasn’t been the greatest for me,” and just as he’s about to explain what went wrong, she suddenly sobs and exclaims, “Yesterday, I watched the mailman die!”
Jar of Tricks
An 85-year-old man visits his physician for a routine check-up. The doctor requests a sperm sample and hands him a container, instructing, “Bring this jar home and return tomorrow with the sample.”
The following day, the elderly man returns to the doctor and hands him the jar, now as spotless and vacant as it was when the doctor first provided it.
The doctor inquires about the situation and why the jar contains no sperm sample. The elderly man responds, “Well, doctor, here’s how it went… initially, I attempted with my right hand, but no luck. Next, I tried my left hand, yet still nothing. After that, I sought my wife’s assistance. She gave it a go with her right hand—no success; then her left, still nothing. She even used her mouth, first with teeth in, then teeth out, but no result. We even enlisted Maisie, our neighbor, who also tried—first with both hands, then an armpit, and even by pressing it between her knees, but to no avail.”
The physician is utterly stunned by the situation and responds with disbelief, “You consulted your neighbor???”
The elderly man responds, “That’s right, none of us managed to open the jar.”
Reckless Driver Exceeding Speed Limit
One evening, a man was driving recklessly along a deserted street. A police officer noticed him zoom by and quickly pursued the vehicle, eventually stopping it. The officer approached the car, and as the driver lowered the window, he inquired, “Sir, do you realize how fast you were going?”
The man answers, “That’s correct. I’m attempting to flee from a robbery I became part of.”
The officer stares at him in disbelief and inquires, “Sir, were you the victim of the robbery?”
The man nonchalantly answers, “Oh no, I’m the one who carried out the robbery. I was getting away.”
The officer is stunned that the suspect confessed so openly. He responds, “You’re saying you were speeding…AND you robbed someone?”
“Absolutely,” the man answers smoothly. “All the stolen goods are stored in the rear.”
The officer is growing visibly frustrated and states, “Sir, I’m afraid you’ll need to come with me,” while leaning in to remove the keys from the ignition.
The man yells, “Stop! I’m worried you’ll discover the gun in my glove box!” Hearing this, the officer quickly withdraws his hand from the window and orders, “Stay put,” before heading back to his vehicle to request additional support.
Suddenly, vehicles, police officers, and helicopters swarm the area, filling every direction in sight. The suspect is swiftly pulled from his automobile, restrained with handcuffs, and escorted to a waiting police vehicle.
Just as he’s about to be placed in the car and driven off, an officer approaches him and says, gesturing toward the cop who stopped him, “Sir, this officer claims you were involved in a robbery, had stolen goods in your trunk, and kept a loaded weapon in your glove compartment. But we didn’t locate any of those items in your vehicle.”
The man responds, “Sure, and I’ll wager that deceiver claimed I was going over the speed limit as well!”
The Minister’s Spouse
A pair had planned a joint getaway, but the wife faced an unexpected work crisis. They decided the husband would proceed with the trip as scheduled, while his wife would join him at their accommodation the following day.
After arriving at the hotel and completing check-in, the husband decided to email his wife briefly to confirm his safe arrival.
While entering her email address, he accidentally mistyped it, causing his message to be delivered to the wife of an elderly preacher. Coincidentally, her husband had passed away merely a day earlier.
As the elderly preacher’s grieving wife scanned her inbox, she opened the email from the vacationer, released a horrifying, shrill shriek, and collapsed onto the ground.
Hearing her fall, her family hurried into the room. After checking on her, they noticed the email displayed on her computer screen:
Your room is ready and waiting for you. I’ve just arrived and made sure everything is set for your visit tomorrow.
Road Test
A young boy who recently got his driver’s license asked his father for permission to drive the family car.
The father proposed an agreement to his son: “Raise your grades from a C to a B, spend some time studying the Bible, and trim your hair. After that, we can discuss the car.”
The boy considered the proposal briefly, then chose to accept the deal, and both parties came to an agreement.
Six weeks later, the father remarked, “Your grades have improved, and I’ve noticed you’ve been reading the Bible, but I’m let down that you still haven’t gotten a haircut.”
The boy remarked, “Dad, I’ve been reflecting on this, and in my study of the Bible, I’ve observed that Samson, John the Baptist, and Moses all had long hair. There’s also compelling evidence suggesting Jesus wore his hair long.”
His father responded, “Did you see how every one of them traveled on foot?”
The Man Who Had The Ostrich
A man enters a dining establishment trailed by a fully grown ostrich.
The server takes their orders. The man requests, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke,” then looks at the ostrich and asks, “And for you?”
Not long after, the waitress comes back with the meal. “Your total comes to $18.40,” she says.
The man digs into his pocket and, without glancing, retrieves the precise amount needed to pay.
The following day, the man and the ostrich go back to the same diner, where he orders, “A hamburger, fries, and a coke.”
Once more, the man pulls out his wallet and hands over the precise amount. This pattern continues until an evening when they walk into the diner, and the server inquires, “Your regular order?”
“No, tonight’s Friday, so I’ll go with a steak, baked potato, and salad,” the guy replies.
The server arrives with the meal and states, “Your total comes to $42.62.”
Once more, the man retrieves the precise amount from his pocket and sets it down on the table.
Unable to contain her curiosity any longer, the waitress finally speaks up. “Pardon me, sir. How is it that you always pull the precise amount of change from your pocket without fail?”
“Alright,” the man begins, “a while back, I was tidying up my attic and stumbled upon an ancient lamp. After giving it a rub, a genie popped out and granted me two wishes. For my first wish, I asked that whenever I needed to pay for something, I could simply reach into my pocket and find the exact amount of money required.”
“That’s amazing!” exclaims the waitress. “Others might ask for a fortune, but you’ll never run out of wealth—your riches last a lifetime!”
“Exactly. No matter if it’s a carton of milk or a Rolls Royce, the precise amount is always available,” the man states.
The server inquires, “Excuse me, sir, why do you have an ostrich with you?”
The man lets out a sigh and replies, “My second wish was for a tall woman with long legs who always agrees with me.”
A Costly Suit
A deceased man arrives at the mortuary dressed in a finely crafted, high-end black suit.
The funeral director inquires with the deceased’s spouse about her preferred attire for the body. He mentions that the black suit the man is currently wearing suits him well.
The widow insists that she always believed her husband appeared most handsome in blue, which is why she prefers him to wear a blue suit.
She hands the funeral director a blank check and states, “Cost isn’t an issue—just make sure my husband is dressed in a blue suit for the viewing.”
The next day, the woman comes back for the wake. She is overjoyed to see her husband wearing an elegant blue suit featuring a faint chalk stripe; the outfit suits him impeccably.
She tells the mortician, “No matter the price, I’m extremely pleased. Your work was outstanding, and I truly appreciate it. What was the total cost?”
Stunned, the mortician hands her the blank check. “It’s free of charge,” he tells her.
“Honestly, I insist on reimbursing you for that stunning blue suit!” the woman exclaims.
“To be frank, ma’am,” the mortician explains, “there was no charge. Shortly after you departed yesterday, another gentleman, roughly your husband’s build, was brought in. He was dressed in a handsome blue suit. I inquired with his widow if she objected to him being buried in a black suit instead, and she replied that it didn’t matter as long as he appeared presentable. After that, all that remained was exchanging the heads.”
Hilarious Brief Tales
If you liked our assortment of humorous short tales, don’t miss exploring the rest of LaffGaff for plenty more hilarious jokes, such as these:
