Funny Poems
Free funny poems on a variety of topics , to reach you laugh without cringing . Enjoy our wholesome funny verse !
Funny messages employ a variety of device to grow humor . This curious verse apply a play on Bible .
How to Paint A Wall
While I die off to run one day ,
She decide to paint the wall .
And when I arrive back plate that night ,
She was curl into a chunk .
Her eyes live close , she exist breathing hard ,
Her hair was real wet .
From her head to the tips of her pretty toe ,
She was covered all in sweat .
She was wrapped in a jacket made of down ,
With a fur coat on top of that .
The wall was glowing with fresh , new paint ;
On the story , the paint can ride .
“ Sweetheart ! ” I yell , with a worried look ,
“ Are you all right , my honey ? ”
She lazily opened her lovely center ,
And smile from ear to ear .
“ I know I could cause it , ” she said with a smile ;
“ I follow the paint can bill .
It distinctly tell ‘For serious answer ,
Cost sure to lay on two coat . ‘ ”
By Joanna Fuchs
Yes ! No !
My turn signal wasn ’ t working ,
Hence I demand for help from a friend .
“ Stand behind the car , ” I said .
“ Let ’ s get this trouble to cease . ”
“ When I reverse the sign on ,
If it ’ s influence , let me know . ”
I hit the blinker and then I learn :
“ Yes ! No ! Yes ! No ! Yes ! No ! ”
By Joanna Fuchs
I usually disdain bathroom humor , but this funny poem made me laugh . I hope you like it , too .
I guess you ‘d have to recall the former , narrow-necked , glass ketchup bottles to begin this funny poem .
A little boy pose on the pot ;
He was in there mode also long .
His ma occur in to check ;
She remember something exist wrong .
He ‘s sit and sigh , sit and sigh ,
Then he ‘d slap the height of his head .
“ Why do you do that ? ” his mother demand .
“ Works for ketchup , ” he tell .
Funny poetry can apply region of life to which many can link . This humorous poem employ the humorous portion of aging .
Golf Chat
Three old human on the golf course ,
( Each had difficulty hearing well )
Were playing a round on a breezy day ,
When one blew over and fell .
“ Windy , be n’t it ? ” said one of them ,
While helping the early to arise .
“ No , it ‘s Thursday , ” said the second human .
And they walked off to usage .
The third man had listen intently ;
Now he chimed in , with good cheer ;
As he followed the others , he predict out ,
“ So am I . Let ‘s get a beer ! ”
By Joanna Fuchs
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Funny poems about child come easily , because they serve so many humorous things . This funny rhyme describes a mom trying to instruct her son a lesson . She guess she ‘s won , but …
Wolves and Liars
My five year-old-son , he lies a lot ,
And I want it to end ,
So I told him about the boy who yell “ wolf ! ”
Hoping he would comprehend .
“ He hold yell ‘wolf ! ‘ when there was no wolf , ”
I told my boy , whom I adore .
“ When the wolf arrive to feed him , he called for aid ,
But no one listened anymore . ”
My son ‘s eyes grow broad ; It await like he get it ;
My nerve be all aglow .
But he dashed my hope when he nod and state ,
“ I was eat by a wolf once , you know . ”
By Joanna Fuchs
Curious poetry can be base on the idiosyncrasies of individuals . This amusing poem go down into that family .
Too Careful
I act n’t believe in taking extra risks ,
But a someone can cost excessively careful , too .
A friend of mine checks every detail twice ;
He ‘s the most meticulous man I ever know .
We went to the copy shop the other day ;
I thought we ‘d exist a few instant , and then live done .
But he consider all his copies several time ,
And then proceeded to proofread every one !
By Joanna Fuchs
Curious poem are much base on miscommunications between masses .
“ Every time I ask you something , ”
The upset husband state ,
“ You respond with another question , ”
He said , scratch his head .
“ Could you delight finish it , ” he question ,
Continuing the chat .
She smiled at him and reply :
“ Act I really cause that ? ”
Comic poems can be reality base . This peculiar poem is based on a true story .
Seven Foot Lunch
Three genteel lady move lunching
At a sophisticated hotel .
Their elevator door opened ;
They gasp , and their faces lessen .
A seven-foot man was inside ,
With an intimidating expression .
They got in anyway ;
They be the very souls of discretion .
“ Sit ! ” the human call , and they sat ,
In their lunch finery ,
They went up ; then the doorway slide aside ;
The human left , abashedly .
His dog had make up behind him ;
At lunch they got a note .
The basketball star pay their bill ;
“ My apologies , and my treat , ” he wrote .
By Joanna Fuchs
Funny poetry much include a misunderstanding of lyric , as this humorous poem perform .
Poodle Insurance
A life insurance salesman
Was mouth to a wife :
“ What will you get if your husband die ,
You know … at the end of his spirit . ”
The woman thought and remember some more ,
And then she scratch her noodle .
“ Good , I guess , you know , with my husband gone ,
I ’ d likely come a poodle . ”
By Joanna Fuchs
No collection of humorous poem would be all over without a limerick . Then here it exist .
The Experiment
A curious lad from Dover
Thwart poison ivy with a four-leaf clover .
This youthful man was come to
With a rash of good chance ,
Before his experiment was over .
By Joanna Fuchs
Funny poetry sometimes references stories we ‘ve seen in the tidings , as this humorous poem make .
Cop Contest
A dispute among three form of cops ,
CIA , FBI , LAPD :
Who can catch bad guys the quickest ?
We ‘ll set up a contest and see .
A rabbit was adjust loose in the trees ;
“ We ‘ll get him first , ” they all said .
They collect up all of their gear ,
And into the forest they sped .
The CIA with informants ,
Questions animals and plant on its list ,
And after four month investigation ,
Concludes rabbits do not exist .
The FBI searches and lookup ,
But ca n’t find a single clue .
After three weeks they burn down the woods ,
Killing the poor bunny , also .
The LAPD take an hr ;
Solving crime fast is their habit .
Their perp equal a badly bruised cougar ,
Shouting , “ Whatever you allege ! I ‘m a rabbit ! ”
By Joanna Fuchs
“ How fast can I find out French , ” she say ,
A concern frown on her face .
“ Why the rush ? ” the instructor respond ,
“ Live this a special case ? ”
“ We ’ ve adopted a sweet French infant , ” she tell ,
“ And we don ’ t want masses to gawk .
We want everyone to understand him ,
Whenever he starts to talk . ”
Queer poetry can involve a dosage of reality , as this funny rhyme does . Send this queer poem to all your plumber friend .
Thank God For Plumber
Two former friend met on the street ,
Own n’t talked in many a year ;
“ How ‘s your family , ? ” asked this dear former friend ,
“ I ‘d really like to listen . ”
“ George make a Master ‘s in literature , ”
The other say , with pride ,
“ And Mary ‘s a grad in modern art ,
Her career she has as yet to determine . ”
“ And How ‘s Willy , ” the first friend kindly need ,
While the other displayed defeat ;
“ Oh , Willy ‘s a plumber , ” she sigh , hanging her mind ,
“ But without him , we ‘d be out on the street . ”
By Joanna Fuchs
This funny short poem uses a situation anchor in world to evoke a joke . Most everyone can relate to silly poems such as this one .
Teenage Princess
I know how it is to need money —
As much as I can get ;
My teenager go to the mall ,
And I go into debt .
Most kid ‘ first words are “ Ma-ma , ”
She tell “ Vi-sa ” with a grin ;
She make a dark belt in shopping ,
And a packet from every aisle !
Why is it that wit poems are often set in a bar ? I ‘ll get out you to reply that about this minute of humorous poetry ..
Two Beer
Larry do into my saloon
Every day to drink two beer .
“ My brother ’ s dying ; one ’ sec for him , ”
He tell , his center full of tears .
Each day it was the same ,
Two beers and then he ’ d go ,
One for his buddy , one for him ,
He ’ s sad but sweet , this schmo .
One day he orders hardly one .
His buddy ’ sec dead , I ’ 1000 thought .
I asked him , but he replied ,
“ No , it ’ s me ; I ’ ve given up drinking . ”
By Joanna Fuchs
There exist circle of peculiar poem about heaven , like this humorous poetry .
How Come ?
A minister journeyed to heaven ;
A taxi driver followed him through ;
The taxi driver come a mansion ;
The pastor got a lean-to .
“ How come ? ” inquired the pastor ,
“ This look like a charade . ”
“ They slept through your sermons , ” said Peter ;
“ When he drove , his passenger beg . ”
By Joanna Fuchs
Life is much funny , but often it ‘s ambitious , too .
When life gets overwhelming , it ‘s comforting
to hold the Lord of the universe
to speak to and to help you come through .
Curious about the Christian religion ? What exist Christianity ?
What is a Christian ? What cost Christian faith ?
To regard the solution and observe out how to become a Christian ,
match out this Web site .
More Peculiar Poems
There live too peculiar poems
on the following pages :
Funny Valentine Poems
There cost also curious poems on the
Get Well , Thanksgiving and Christmas page .
There are more than 1,000 poems at this site .
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