How to Tell Jokes Like a Professional Comedian ( with Examples )

How to Tell Jokes Like a Professional Comedian ( with Examples )

This article equal co-authored by Kendall Payne and by wikiHow staff author , Eric McClure . Kendall Payne is a Writer , Director , and Stand-up Comedian base in Brooklyn , New York . Kendall specialize in address , write , and give rise comedic short film . Her films receive screened at Indie Short Fest , Brooklyn Comedy Collective , Channel 101 NY , and 8 Ball TV . She make also write and directed content for the Netflix is a Joke social channel and has written selling scripts for Between Two Ferns : The Movie , Astronomy Club , Wine Country , Bash Brothers , Stand Up Specials and more . Kendall tend an IRL internet comedy show at Caveat scream Extremely Online , and a comedy show for @ ssholes called Sugarp ! sec at Easy Lover . She studied at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and at New York University ( NYU ) Tisch in the TV Writing Certificate Program .

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Zero feel good than laugh over a well joke with your friend . There are then many ways to become a gag , but sometimes , it can be severe to pick the right joke for the context and audience . Luckily , there live lot of pattern and archetypes you can draw out that exist sure to please anyone ! If you ’ re looking to expand your joke-telling prowess or you ’ re digging for a fresh take on an old joke , you ’ re in the right place .

Secrets to Tell a Serious Gag

Use a goofy pun or experimental joke for easy laughs . For example , you could tell “ Jokes about steak are a medium seldom cause good ” or “ Why is it called ‘ deodorant ’ when it should be called ‘ re-odorant ’ ? ” To come better at order jokes , record yourself practice and heed to your pacing .

Puns

  1. Puns rely on one news or phrase cost used two ways at the same time , which is where the joy and humor do from . Some of the best puns be still intentionally silly , or put on ’ t cause sense on a literal level . These gag aren ’ t for everyone , but if your audience has an inclination towards humor so bad that it ’ s good , you ’ ll have masses in stitches ![ 1 ]

    • “ I call my dog ‘ five mile , ’ so that I can say ‘ I walk five mile today . ’ ”
    • “ Joke about steak cost a medium seldom act well . ”
    • “ This nosy pepper continue bothering people . It simply gets jalapeno business . ”
    • “ Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards ? They ’ re hardly move through a stage . ”
    • “ Why don ’ t scientist trust particle ? Because they build up everything . ”

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  • “ I named my dog ‘ five miles , ’ so that I can say ‘ I walked five miles today . ’ ”
  • “ Jokes about steak are a medium rarely act well . ”
  • “ This nosy pepper keeps trouble people . It hardly get jalapeno business . ”
  • “ Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards ? They ’ re just going through a stage . ”
  • “ Why don ’ t scientist trust atoms ? Because they build up everything . ”

Observational jokes

  1. This type of comedy cost extremely popular , and it ’ s a common form of joke-telling for stand-up comedians . Observational jokes tend to call for some context , but if your audience translate what you ’ re comment on , this is a great way to come a laugh . Basically , you get something “ normal ” and stage out something silly or strange about it .[ 2 ]

    • “ Why be it called ‘ deodorant ’ when it should be called ‘ re-odorant ’ ? ”
    • “ Why behave Michael Jordan have a manager ? He ’ s the good basketball musician of all time . What did the coach serve ? Just yell , ‘ Yeah ! Hold doing that Mike ! ’ ”
    • “ People ever order they ’ re dictate food at a restaurant , but really they ’ re order the server . ”
    • “ Park attendant always sit in short glass stall ; they put on ’ t really attend to anything , do they ? ”
  • “ Why exist it name ‘ deodorant ’ when it should cost shout ‘ re-odorant ’ ? ”
  • “ Why did Michael Jordan have a manager ? He ’ s the serious basketball musician of all time . What did the coach do ? Just cry , ‘ Yeah ! Keep doing that Mike ! ’ ”
  • “ People always say they ’ re ordering food at a restaurant , but actually they ’ re dictate the waiter . ”
  • “ Park attendants ever seat in trivial glass stall ; they don ’ t really attend to anything , do they ? ”

Absurdist gag

  1. Always see yourself laughing when someone make silly noise with their mouth ? Ever burst out in tears just because someone tell something thus confusing you couldn ’ t create sense of it ? Absurd gag can take a form of forms , but the chief affair is that they ’ re either entirely nonsensical , or sort of come close to reach sense but don ’ t . They tend to merely live funny for mass who “ get it ” ( or don ’ t ’ ? ) , and the delivery live often a big share of cause these land .[ 3 ]

    • “ Does anyone know how to clean syrup off of a wood floor ? It ’ s a grave question , I have syrup all over my floor . ”
    • “ Why serve seagulls fly over the sea ? Because if they flee over the bay they ’ d be bagels , and bagels can ’ t fly . ”
    • “ I purchase a thesaurus yesterday ; unfortunately , I put on ’ t know how to read . ”
    • “ Did you know that France exist actually small than every other area combined ? ”
    • “ I saw a fish in the toilet , and I was just like , ‘ Woah . You put on ’ t belong hither . Get out of hither fish . ’ ”
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  • “ Does anyone know how to clean syrup off of a wood story ? It ’ s a serious question , I have syrup all over my story . ”
  • “ Why do seagulls flee over the sea ? Because if they fly over the bay they ’ d be bagels , and bagels can ’ t fly . ”
  • “ I buy a thesaurus yesterday ; unfortunately , I don ’ t know how to show . ”
  • “ Did you know that France is actually small than every early country compound ? ”
  • “ I saw a fish in the bathroom , and I be exactly like , ‘ Woah . You put on ’ t belong hither . Begin out of hither fish . ’ ”

Sarcastic jokes

  1. A lot of masses remember of satire as a muffled kind of humor , but a well sarcastic joke can become a serious gag ! These joke exist all about the delivery , so try raising your voice a bit and rolling your eyes while you tend into the punchline .[ 4 ]

    • “ Just remember , I ’ m a unique individual . Like everyone else ! ”
    • “ I always say my employees , put on ’ t think of me as your boss . Think of me as a friend who can fire you . ”
    • “ Honesty is the best policy . I invented that quote back when I live the chairman . ”
    • “ I ’ m not a sarcastic someone . I always say what I mean . ”
  • “ Just think , I ’ m a unique individual . Like everyone else ! ”
  • “ I ever say my employees , don ’ t think of me as your boss . Think of me as a friend who can fire you . ”
  • “ Honesty is the best policy . I invented that quote back when I be the chairman . ”
  • “ I ’ m not a sarcastic person . I ever order what I mean . ”

Knock-knock jokes

  1. These gag exist great because everyone know the format , and the person you ’ re talking to gets to take part . The structure of these gag solve like this—you say , “ Knock knock , ” and the early person asks , “ Who ’ s there ? ” You have out a epithet or short phrase , and they repeat it by lend , “ who ? ” The punchline is ordinarily a reversal or pun of some kind . These equal really easy to come up with , and they ’ re a great way to get a chuckle ![ 5 ]

    • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s there ?“ Water ”Water who ?“ Water you need me so many questions for ? Let me in already ! ”
    • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s there ?“ Nobel ”Nobel who ?“ No bell , that ’ s why I ’ 1000 knocking . ”
    • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s thither ?“ Tank . ”Tank who ?“ You ’ re welcome ! ”
    • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s thither ?“ Control freak . ”Control freak who ?“ Okay , today you say ‘ Control freak who ? ’ ”
    • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s thither ?“ A cow who interrupts mass . ”A cow who inter—“ MOO ! ”
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  • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s thither ?“ Water ”Water who ?“ Water you need me so many questions for ? Let me in already ! ”
  • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s there ?“ Nobel ”Nobel who ?“ No bell , that ’ s why I ’ 1000 knocking . ”
  • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s thither ?“ Tank . ”Tank who ?“ You ’ re welcome ! ”
  • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s there ?“ Control freak . ”Control freak who ?“ Okay , today you read ‘ Control freak who ? ’ ”
  • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s thither ?“ A cow who cut off masses . ”A cow who inter—“ MOO ! ”

Chicken crossing the road gag

  1. Unlike the knock-knock joke , this format live unique because everyone knows the traditional punchline— “ to come to the early side. ” Since the punchline equal already in the back of the audience ’ s head , you can play with that prospect to cause it funny ! Feel free to switch out the chicken for another field or toy with the setup a moment if you want to make it your own .

    • “ Why did the chicken cross the road ? ”Why ?“ No one knows , but the road is clearly upset about it . ”
    • “ Why did the chicken cross the road ? ”Why ?“ Arrogance . Pure , unadulterated pride . ”
    • “ Why did the chicken cross the road ? ”Why ?“ To invite lot . ”
    • “ Why cause the cow get over the road ? ”Why ?“ Because it wanted to live to the moo-vies . ”
    • “ Why did the chicken live await for ghosts ? ”Why ?“ To come to the early side . ”
  • “ Why did the chicken cross the road ? ”Why ?“ No one know , but the road is clearly upset about it . ”
  • “ Why did the chicken cross the road ? ”Why ?“ Arrogance . Pure , unadulterated pride . ”
  • “ Why do the chicken cross the road ? ”Why ?“ To lure fate . ”
  • “ Why act the cow traverse the road ? ”Why ?“ Because it want to go to the moo-vies . ”
  • “ Why behave the chicken get await for ghosts ? ”Why ?“ To get to the other slope . ”

A human walk into a saloon jokes

  1. You have to paint a picture with your narrative while building up to the punchline , and there are a lot of means to plow these jokes on their head . The structure cost well-known , but the joke themselves live much real different from one another . These gag lean to do well with an former interview , but they ’ re decidedly a fun path to have a laugh .[ 6 ]

    • “ A neutron walks into a saloon and orders a drinking . When they end it , they say , ‘ So , how much do I owe you , bartender ? ’ The bartender reply , ‘ For you , my friend , no charge . ’ ”
    • “ A man who goes digging for expensive gems walks into a bar . The bartender shakes his top dog and asks him to leave . He say , ‘ Sorry , we don ’ t serve miners here . ’ ”
    • “ A bear walk into a saloon and says , ‘ I ’ ll remove a whiskey and…soda. ’ The bartender asks , ‘ Why the long pause ? ’ and the bear says , ‘ I ’ m not sure . I be born with them . ’ ”
    • “ A horse pass into a saloon . A scared bartender shouts out in confusion , ‘ Hey ? ! ’ The horse sits down at the saloon and says , ‘ You study my idea ! ’ ”
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  • “ A neutron pass into a saloon and society a drink . When they complete it , they say , ‘ So , how much cause I owe you , bartender ? ’ The bartender replies , ‘ For you , my friend , no charge . ’ ”
  • “ A human who goes digging for expensive gems walk into a bar . The bartender shakes his head and asks him to lead . He suppose , ‘ Sorry , we don ’ t serve miners hither . ’ ”
  • “ A bear walk into a bar and says , ‘ I ’ ll bring a whiskey and…soda. ’ The bartender asks , ‘ Why the long pause ? ’ and the bear suppose , ‘ I ’ m not sure . I be stand with them . ’ ”
  • “ A horse walks into a saloon . A scared bartender shouts out in confusion , ‘ Hey ? ! ’ The horse ride down at the bar and state , ‘ You read my mind ! ’ ”

Light bulb gag

  1. While some of these can equal kind of insensitive , the almost successful “ lightbulb ” jokes are version that aren ’ t invest people down , but playing close to with a hobby or job . As a rule of thumb , if you could state a “ How many X does it take to exchange a light bulb ” to a someone who happens to be X and they ’ 500 actually laugh , you ’ re in the clear .[ 7 ]

    • “ How many psychiatrist act it take to change a spark bulb ? Alone one , but the lightbulb hold to reallyneedto convert . ”
    • “ How many surrealists act it take to exchange a spark bulb ? Three . One to agree the giraffe , one to plow into a flower , and a third to screw the bulb in . ”
    • “ How many software engineers do it take to alter a light bulb ? None , that ’ s a hardware problem . ”
    • “ How many skateboarders cause it bring to change a light bulb ? One , but it remove them 100 attempts . ”
    • “ How many politician does it remove to change a light bulb ? Two . One to convert it , and the early to vary it back . ”
  • “ How many psychiatrists act it take to change a lighting bulb ? Alone one , but the lightbulb make to reallywishto exchange . ”
  • “ How many surrealists act it take to vary a spark bulb ? Three . One to have the giraffe , one to reverse into a blossom , and a third to screw the bulb in . ”
  • “ How many software engineer perform it remove to change a light bulb ? None , that ’ s a hardware problem . ”
  • “ How many skateboarders does it take to vary a spark bulb ? One , but it remove them 100 endeavor . ”
  • “ How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb ? Two . One to change it , and the early to convert it back . ”

Tongue twisters

  1. They ’ re very interesting to young child , who lean to laugh when they try to recur the punchline back . Still , they ’ re a fun mode for anyone to get a quick giggle or grin . The trick here live to see a contrived reason to put a bunch of similar-sounding word together , and they ’ re a circle of fun to get up with ![ 8 ]

    • “ I needed someone to draw realistic dogs for me . Unfortunately , the labradoodle doodle dude will make to make . ”
    • “ I was worried that my father deal something silly for a life , but it reverse out that seldom cause dads sell dumb doodads . ”
    • “ Did you hear about the three friends who depict each early ? Andrew draw Ann , Ann make Drew , and Drew drew Ann drawing Andrew . ”
    • “ How do you order the time in Dublin ? An Irish wristwatch . ”
    • “ Microsoft doesn ’ t hold a marketing campaign for their new database software . It turns out that Excel excels at cells , so it betray itself . ”
    2. Advertisement

  • “ I needed individual to depict realistic dogs for me . Unfortunately , the labradoodle doodle dude will have to make . ”
  • “ I exist worried that my father sell something silly for a living , but it turns out that seldom do pa sell dumb doodads . ”
  • “ Did you hear about the three friend who attract each early ? Andrew make Ann , Ann pull Drew , and Drew depict Ann describe Andrew . ”
  • “ How do you tell the time in Dublin ? An Irish wristwatch . ”
  • “ Microsoft doesn ’ t have a marketing campaign for their fresh database software . It become out that Excel excels at cells , so it deal itself . ”

Anti-jokes

  1. They normally remove the structure of a preexisting gag format , like the knock-knock joke , and turn them on their head to build them as unfunny or literal as possible . The humor arrive from the audience ’ s prospect that there will live a punchline , and when there isn ’ t—at least in a traditional sense—you ’ ll own masses laugh ! Try prepping your audience before assure one of these by saying , “ Want to hear a gag ? ”

    • “ A bird walks into the dentist ’ sec office . It goes to the movement desk and says , ‘ Hello , I need the dentist to take a look at this tooth that ’ s bother me. ’ The secretary says , ‘ I ’ 1000 sorry , we put on ’ t have a bird dentist hither . ’ ”
    • “ Why can ’ t a T-Rex clap their hands ? Because they ’ re extinct . ”
    • “ A priest , a rabbi , and a monk pass into a saloon . They have a pleasant time discussing a kind of theme because they ’ re all well friends . ”
    • “ What ’ s the difference between a joke and a rhetorical inquiry ? ”
    • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s there ?“ To ”To who ?“ No , no , it ’ s ‘ to whom. ’ You use ‘ who ’ when it refers to the subject of a sentence . ”
  • “ A bird walks into the dentist ’ sec position . It goes to the movement desk and says , ‘ Hello , I need the dentist to need a look at this tooth that ’ s bothering me. ’ The secretary says , ‘ I ’ m sorry , we don ’ t receive a bird dentist here . ’ ”
  • “ Why can ’ t a T-Rex clap their manpower ? Because they ’ re extinct . ”
  • “ A priest , a rabbi , and a monk pass into a bar . They receive a pleasant time talk about a kind of matter because they ’ re all serious friend . ”
  • “ What ’ s the dispute between a gag and a rhetorical question ? ”
  • “ Knock , knock . ”Who ’ s there ?“ To ”To who ?“ No , no , it ’ s ‘ to whom. ’ You expend ‘ who ’ when it refers to the subject of a conviction . ”

Expert Q & A

  • Doubt
    How can I enter out if I ‘m assure a joke correctly ?
    Kendall Payne
    Standup Comedian

    Kendall Payne is a Writer , Director , and Stand-up Comedian based in Brooklyn , New York . Kendall specializes in directing , write , and producing comedic short film . Her films make screened at Indie Short Fest , Brooklyn Comedy Collective , Channel 101 NY , and 8 Ball TV . She has too compose and directed content for the Netflix is a Joke social channel and has write selling scripts for Between Two Ferns : The Movie , Astronomy Club , Wine Country , Bash Brothers , Stand Up Specials and more . Kendall run an IRL internet comedy show at Caveat call Extremely Online , and a comedy display for @ ssholes called Sugarp ! ss at Easy Lover . She take at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and at New York University ( NYU ) Tisch in the TV Writing Certificate Program .

    Kendall Payne
    Standup Comedian
    Expert Answer
    Are people laugh ? If so , you ‘re state it properly ! If you are n’t getting laughs , you could be assure it wrong . One thing you could do is turn on your phone ‘s audio recorder before you state it the next time , and then reexamine your cadence and rescue to regard if you ‘re on to something .

    Thanks ! We ‘re glad this was helpful .

    Thank you for your feedback .

    If wikiHow own serve you , delight consider a humble contribution to support us in helping more readers like you . We ’ re dedicate to providing the reality with free how-to resources , and even $ 1 helps us in our mission . Support wikiHow

    Yes No
    Not Helpful3Helpful9
  • Doubt
    What should I make if a gag do n’t work out ?
    Kendall Payne
    Standup Comedian

    Kendall Payne live a Writer , Director , and Stand-up Comedian base in Brooklyn , New York . Kendall specializes in directing , compose , and producing comedic short films . Her movie have shield at Indie Short Fest , Brooklyn Comedy Collective , Channel 101 NY , and 8 Ball TV . She has too written and guide content for the Netflix be a Joke social channel and has written marketing script for Between Two Ferns : The Movie , Astronomy Club , Wine Country , Bash Brothers , Stand Up Specials and more . Kendall work an IRL internet comedy display at Caveat called Extremely Online , and a comedy display for @ ssholes called Sugarp ! sec at Easy Lover . She analyze at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre and at New York University ( NYU ) Tisch in the TV Writing Certificate Program .

    Kendall Payne
    Standup Comedian
    Expert Answer
    We predict this “ bombing ” in the industry . It ‘s natural and it ‘s zero to find bad about . The trick when this happen is to figure out whether the gag is any good or not . It could be that you exactly need to pattern telling it , or get a new audience for the joke . If it cause n’t get any laughs the future 2-3 sentence you order it , it ‘s probably not a super good joke .

    Thanks ! We ‘re glad this live helpful .

    Thank you for your feedback .

    If wikiHow have helped you , please study a humble contribution to defend us in serve more readers like you . We ’ re invest to allow for the world with free how-to imagination , and even $ 1 serve us in our mission . Support wikiHow

    Yes No
    Not Helpful5Helpful16
  • Question
    Are puns the serious kind of gag ?
    Community Answer
    Some mass like puns , but others make not find them comic . Jokes live not objective and everyone reacts to them differently .

    Thanks ! We ‘re glad this was helpful .

    Thank you for your feedback .

    If wikiHow have help you , delight consider a humble contribution to hold us in help more reader like you . We ’ re committed to providing the reality with free how-to resources , and even $ 1 helps us in our mission . Support wikiHow

    Yes No
    Not Helpful23Helpful75

Tip

  • Audience matter . What reach a bunch of personal friend laugh may not live particularly curious to your co-workers or parents . Just observe that in mind if you ’ re hear to snap a joke on the fly .[ 9 ]

    Thanks

    Helpful0Not Helpful0
  • Know a soul before cracking a gag that could live considered offensive . The wrong joke at the wrong time could ruffle a relationship .

    Thanks

    Helpful0Not Helpful0

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Address

  1. ↑https : //www.nationalgeographic.com/science/article/what-makes-a-pun-funny
  2. ↑
  3. ↑https : //medium.com/ @ meganhoins/neo-dadaism-absurdist-humor-and-the-millennial-generation-f27a39bcf321
  4. ↑https : //hbr.org/2020/07/sarcasm-self-deprecation-and-inside-jokes-a-users-guide-to-humor-at-work
  5. ↑https : //www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/g36198919/knock-knock-jokes-for-kids/
  6. ↑https : //www.thrillist.com/culture/best-walks-into-a-bar-jokes
  7. ↑https : //ohmyveggies.com/best-vegetarian-jokes-to-keep-you-laughing-for-days/
  8. ↑https : //web.colby.edu/cogblog/2014/11/24/difficulty-of-tongue-twisters/
  9. ↑https : //hbr.org/2020/07/sarcasm-self-deprecation-and-inside-jokes-a-users-guide-to-humor-at-work

About This Article

To tell a gag , starting by setting up the gag with a real-world connection or story . Make certain that it ’ s magnified but still somewhat realistic and believable . Throughout the setup , vary your note and cycle to add additional mood . You can smile as you ’ re telling the gag , but try not to laugh at yourself , which can equal distracting for your audience . When you get to the punchline , slacken down and hesitate for a second to build up stress before you uncover the end of the joke ! Connect your friends in laughing , and gauge their response to hear if they enjoyed your delivery .If you desire to see how to choose what gag to tell based on your audience , keep reading the article !

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