Jokes for Guides
I created a guide on dating men who have small penises.
Instructions for Russian military personnel: Methods to distinguish Ukrainians
A detailed, sequential tutorial on the process of tumbling down a staircase
Men’s guide to love and enduring relationships.
A pair of visitors is exploring the Natural History Museum on a guided tour. They inquire of the guide: “What is the age of this dinosaur skeleton?”
Women: A handbook for decoding men’s words…
Why don’t individuals who are blind pick up after their guide dogs?
Jameson’s is an exceptional whiskey—
A Timeless Catholic Humor Piece: “The Son of a Bitch”
Two men are out with their dogs—a Doberman and a Chihuahua—and notice a restaurant nearby.
A man accompanied by a Great Dane and another with a Chihuahua enter a bar, only to find a sign stating “no pets allowed.”
He held me with a firm yet gentle grip just above my elbow and led me into a room…
(Overheard from an Irish guide:) “The bloke who created the crossword lies buried in that graveyard just across the way.”
As a museum tour guide, I once mentioned to visitors that a particular fossil was 65 million years and 3 weeks old. Curious, they asked how I arrived at the extra three weeks.
I filed a lawsuit against a spiritual guide for colliding with my vehicle.
While attempting to scale a Himalayan peak, I turned to the local guide and inquired, “What is the role of a Sherpa?”
Simple Guide to Asexual Reproduction
A husband and wife are on a boat trip accompanied by a youthful guide.
A tour guide led a party of American visitors through a historic European castle.
What title would a vegetable choose for an erotic asphyxiation self-help manual?
A mountain guide from Switzerland provides his climbers with the last essential guidelines for safely ascending the Matterhorn.
The museum guide informed the group of visitors that their T-Rex skeleton was precisely 65,000,023 years old.
My guide dog seems to have doubts about my judgment.
Mastering the art of workplace bathroom breaks
LONG Priest is on a fishing trip with a guide…
Follow these steps to avoid constipation
A brief tutorial on “How to fall downstairs”…
How much time will an author need to complete “The Guide To All The World’s Great Beers”?
Growing older makes me reflect on everyone I’ve had to say goodbye to over the years, and I can’t help but wonder…
A classic joke from the Soviet era
Joseph Smith’s Principles for Achieving Prosperity
While browsing the shop earlier, I noticed a book titled “Guide how to solve 50% of your problems.”
Six Supreme Court justices lay motionless, facedown in the flowing waters of a river.
Assistance dogs trained to lead individuals with visual impairments
A man who is blind enters a bar accompanied by his guide dog.
The ultimate manual for understanding piracy:
What distinguishes an Onion from an Englishman?
Young female scouts
A dolphin joke…came up with it myself today. 🙂
Mastering the art of coolness: A step-by-step guide
The humorous anecdote involving the museum tour guide
How to confidently start a conversation with an attractive woman in Ireland.
Looking for unemployed wilderness guides who tell painfully awkward jokes? When I worked as a river guide, my favorite was:
“An Introductory Handbook to Boxing”
My vegan friend’s diet guide is far more useful than my own diet guide.
A group of musicians entered the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone unaccompanied by a guide.
After two weeks of tracking unsuccessfully through the jungle, a local guide finally heard reports of tigers seen near a nearby village.
Essential tips for exploring intense BDSM practices
Travel guide
I received a copy of the book ‘A Guide to Surgical Procedures’.
Blind Aviators
A visually impaired woman boarded a bus, only to find that every seat was already occupied.
A guide was leading a group of hikers across the wilderness.
A group of tourists in Africa was enjoying a guided tour…
Follow these simple steps to practice social distancing effectively.
During my exploration of the stalactites and stalagmites, the guide jokingly warned, “Please refrain from breaking any off.”
A navigational chart for Alcatraz—what’s its name?
Rick Astley’s essential tips for managing passwords effectively
A dinosaur museum Tour Guide leads a group of visitors through the exhibits. Stopping near a T-Rex, the guide explains
Understanding the fundamentals of political systems and processes
In which programming language was Marvin the Paranoid Android (from Hitchhiker’s Guide…) developed?
Yoda has to be the most ineffective car guide of all time.
Follow these steps to turn into a fossil over time.
A bison hunter and an Indigenous scout
The bookstore attendant was approached by me for a guidebook about Turtles.
Mastering the art of clear and impactful academic communication
A man’s handbook for cultivating love and enduring partnerships
Mountain guide in the highlands
For my post-vasectomy checkup, the doctor asked me to provide a final semen sample. Being an Eagle Scout, I arrived prepared with everything I might need: spare clothing, a first-aid kit, backup identification, a Swiss Army knife, a field guide, a compass, and wet wipes.
Father John’s Saturday night bath was due, and Sister Magdalene, the young nun, had arranged the bathwater and towels precisely as the elderly nun had directed.
I purchased a manual on avoiding panic buying.
Instructions for capturing an elephant.
I led a city tour designed specifically for individuals with crossed eyes.
Tips for getting out of bed in the early hours
A man without sight enters a bar alongside his assistance dog.
During a spiritual quest, I discovered that Optimus Prime is my ancestral guide.
I dislike it when others try to control or manipulate me by taking advantage of my vulnerabilities.
Easy Tips for Enjoying Cake
A Botanical Manual on Self-Induced Hypoxic Ecstasy
A wealthy individual and their guide went duck hunting accompanied by a canine.
A man who is blind, accompanied by his guide dog, moves along a crowded sidewalk.
While flipping through the channel listings, I came across a program titled POV Shorts airing on PBS.
A skilled mountain guide escorts a visitor from the large city along a tight cliff passage.
How to hook up. A manual.
Two men are strolling along the street with their pets—one owns a Doberman, while the other has a Chihuahua—when they spot a restaurant.
My guide for cave exploration inquired whether I had any prior experience with repelling.
A manual for exploring spirituality.
During my travels in Africa, I received a request to evaluate the tour guide’s performance.
(NSFW) My Native American guide and I were hunting buffalo in the wilderness.
This was a joke my Berlin tour guide shared with me last year regarding Russia during the Cold War period.
How does a rafting guide differ from a mutual fund?
I once took a tour of a factory, but it failed to entertain me…
European explorers journeyed through the Amazon rainforest accompanied by local guides from indigenous tribes…
A museum guide is conducting a tour for visitors in London.
A handbook for identifying the dead
The Ultimate Quick Guide to Embracing the Hipster Lifestyle
During a safari in Africa, a man is cautioned by his guide about the Foo bird’s curse.
A joke shared with me by a tour guide during my visit to Scotland
A blind man enters a grocery store with his guide dog by his side.
A blonde woman and her guide came back after spending a night hiking in the wilderness.
Hey, I just stumbled upon a few vintage TV Guide issues from the 1980s!
A tour guide leads a group through Washington, DC, stopping when they arrive at the Potomac River.
Pope Francis
During a Safari, the guide instructed us, “In case a lion charges, grab some dung from behind you and throw it at the lion to surprise him.”
While visiting the Taj Mahal, the tour guide described how Shah Jahan constructed this mausoleum as a tribute to his beloved wife, driven by sorrow.
I was employed as a guide for zip line tours.
A wealthy woman enlists the help of an experienced mountain guide for an expedition in the Alps.
A Giza tour guide described the Pyramids as being 10,002 years old.
Master the art of parallel parking with this easy-to-follow, step-by-step tutorial!
A man inquires of his guide in Hell, “How come Hitler is submerged up to his neck in excrement, while Stalin only stands in it up to his waist?”
A post dedicated to the bass players on Reddit
I was fired from my job as a tour guide in Vatican City.
I’m a zoo guide. Do you have a favorite animal joke?
A man visits an art gallery
Two Jewish fathers from America enroll their sons in a program in Jerusalem to study their heritage.
Three months back, I purchased an online manual about becoming a thief.
The cavalry charged across the open plains, led by their Native American scout.
I purchased an online book titled “A beginner’s guide to Origami.”
A hunter and his guide ventured far into the mountains before pausing to take a break.
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