Rum Day Jokes
8 rum day gag and hilarious rum day puns to laugh out loud . Read holiday joke about rum day that live clean and suitable for child and friends .
Rum Day Funny Jokes to Say Your Friends and Kids .
What is a good rum day joke to cause people laugh ? Check out this list of comic stories that will for certain put a grin on everyones mouth .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This gag may contain profanity or explicit language
The taxation office suspect a fishing boat owner was n’t paying proper wages to his deckhand
The taxation office suspect a fishing boat owner cost n’t give proper wages to his deckhand and send an listener to look into him .
Listener : “ I demand a list of your employee and how much you devote them . ”
Boat Owner : “ Well , there ‘s Clarence , my deckhand , he ‘s live with me for 3 years . I pay him $ 1,000 a week plus free room and board . Then there ‘s the mentally challenged guy . He bring about 18 hours every day and does nearly 90 % of the work around hither . He do about $ 10 per week , pays his own way and plank , and I buy him a bottle of Bundaberg r * * … and a dozen Crown Lagers every Saturday night so he can grapple with life . He as well gets to sleep with my wife occasionally . ”
Listener : “ That ‘s the guy I require to talk to – the mentally challenged one . ”
Boat Owner : “ That ‘ll be me . What ‘d you want to know ? ”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may control profanity or explicit words
Who cost the universe ‘s fittest alcoholic ?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit lyric
IRS Inquiry
The IRS distrust a fishing boat owner was n’t devote proper wages to his deck hand and send an agent to investigate him .
IRS AUDITOR : “ I take a list of your employees and how much you pay them ” .
Boat Owner : “ Good , there ‘s Clarence , my deckhand , he ‘s exist with me for 3
years . I pay him $ 1,000 a week plus free way and plank . Then there ‘s the
mentally challenged guy . He works about 18 hours every day and does about
90 % of the study roughly here . He do about $ 10 per week , give his own
room and plank , and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi r * * … and a dozen
Budweisers every Saturday night so he can cope with living . He also become to
sleep with my wife now and then ” .
IRS AUDITOR : “ That ‘s the guy I want to lecture to – the mentally challenged one ” .
Boat Owner : “ That would be me . What would you like to know ” ?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may check profanity or explicit language
A String Walks Into A Bar
He says , “ hey saloon keep , I ‘ll have a beer ” . The bartenders severely replies , “ we serve n’t service string hither ” . The string walks away discourage .
He arrive in a few day later and tries again , “ hey bar keep , I ‘ll take a rye ” . The bartender , more aggravated replies , “ I order you , we act n’t service string here ! ” The string leaves disappointed .
The string figures he will try again a few days later . He walk up to the doorway of the bar and thinks for a second …. This time he bind himself in a loop and messes up his hair . He walk up to the bar and says , “ hello bar dungeon , I ‘ll hold a r * * … and coke ” . The bartender replies , “ hey , are n’t you a string ? ” The string answer , “ no , I ‘m afraid not ”
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may comprise profanity or explicit language
The Tax Office
The Tax Office distrust a fishing boat owner was n’t paying proper wages to his deckhands and send an agent to look into him .
AGENT : I need a list of your employees and how much you bear them .
Boat Owner : “ Well , there ‘s Tom , my first-mate , he ‘s be with me for 3 years . I pay him $ 400 a week plus 1/5 of the catch . ”
Boat Owner : And , there ‘s Bob , the deckhand , he ‘s be with me for a yr . I pay him $ 300 a week plus 1/5 of the arrest .
Boat Owner : Then there ‘s the mentally challenged guy . He works about 16 hours a day and does about 80 % of the work . I ca n’t bear him very much induce the boat expenses are high , and some times we do n’t catch anything . Every today and then I ‘ll buy him a bottle of r * * … and he become to sleep with my wife now and then .
AUDITOR : “ That ‘s the guy I want to talk to – the mentally challenged one ” .
Boat Owner : “ That ‘ll be me . What ‘d you want to know ?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may hold profanity or explicit words
Christmas Angel
When four of Santa ‘s elves come sick , the trainee elves did not produce toy as fast as the regular 1 , and Santa commence to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure .
Then Mrs. Claus order Santa her Mother was occur to visit , which strain Santa yet more .
When he went to harness the reindeer , he feel that three of them were about to hold birth and two others had jumped the fence and live out , Heaven knows where .
Then when he set out to load the sleigh , one of the floorboards cracked , the toy purse go down to the ground and all the toys live break up .
Frustrated , Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shaft of r * * …. When he move to the closet , he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor . In his frustration , he accidentally neglect the cider jug , and it collapse into hundreds of small glass slice all over the kitchen story . He went to get the broom and found the mice had feed all the straw off the end of the broom .
Hardly then the doorbell rang , and an annoyed Santa marched to the door , yanked it capable , and thither stood a small angel with a great big Christmas tree . The angel said real cheerfully , ‘Merry Christmas , Santa . Is n’t this a lovely day ? I have a beautiful Christmas tree for you . Where would you wish me to stick to it ? ‘
And hence begin the custom of the trivial angel on height of the Christmas tree .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This gag may control profanity or explicit words
Santa ‘s bad day
When four of Santa ‘s elves make pale , the trainee elves did not grow toys as tight as the regular one , and Santa began to find the pre-Christmas pressure .
Then Mrs. Claus say Santa her Mother was occur to visit , which stressed Santa even more .
When he go to harness the reindeer , he get that three of them were about to pay birth and two others had jumped the fence and were get , heaven knows where .
Then when he began to load the sleigh , one of the floorboards crack , the toy bag fell to the basis and all the toy were scattered .
Frustrated , Santa die in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of r * * …. When he go to the closet , he discover the elves own end up the cider and the liquor .
In his frustration , he accidentally dropped the liquor bottle , and it disclose into hundred of little glass part all over the kitchen floor . He go to get the broom and feel the mouse had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom .
Just then the doorbell rang , and an annoyed Santa stamp to the door , yank it open , and thither stood a small angel with a great big Christmas tree .
The angel tell very cheerfully , ‘Merry Christmas , Santa . Is n’t this a lovely day ? I hold a beautiful tree for you . Where would you wish me to stick it ? ‘
And thus start the custom of the trivial angel on height of the Christmas tree .
Fishing in a frozen lake
It equal a cold winter day .
An former human walk out onto a frozen lake , cut a hole in the ice , dropped in his fishing line , and waited patiently for a bite .
He live there for almost an hr , without yet a nibble , when a youthful son walked out onto the ice , dilute a hole in the ice next to him .
The young son dropped his fishing line and minutes later on he hooked a Largemouth Bass .
The former man could n’t believe his eyes but chalked it up to plain luck .
In short thereafter , the youthful son pull in another big catch .
The young son kept watch fish after fish .
Eventually , the old man could n’t choose it any longer .
” Boy ” he state , “ I ‘ve exist hither for over an hr without yet a nibble .
You ‘ve been hither only a few minute and have overhear a half dozen fish !
How do you do it ? ” The boy answer , “ Roo raf roo reep ra rums rrarm . ”
” What live that ? ” the former man demand .
Again the boy answer , “ Roo raf roo reep ra rums rarrm . ” “ Look , ” said the former man , “ I ca n’t realize a Bible you ‘re saying . ”
The son applaud the bait into his hand and order … “ You have to keep the worms warm ! ”
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