Top 260 Hilarious Dad Jokes That Will Make You Laugh

A dad joke is born the moment its punchline becomes painfully obvious.

Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems.

What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!

Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
Corny Dad Jokes are the kind of humor that dads love to share, often leaving their kids groaning in playful exasperation. These jokes are typically simple, pun-filled, and rely on wordplay or silly scenarios. While they might not win any awards for sophistication, they have a special charm that brings laughter and eye-rolls in equal measure. Corny Dad Jokes are a timeless tradition, passed down through generations, and remain a beloved part of family humor.
Brief Quips
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

How do you organize a space party? You planet!

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!

What’s brown and sticky? A stick!

Why did the math book look sad? It had too many problems!

How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!

What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!

Why can’t you trust an atom? Because they make up everything!

What did one wall say to the other wall? I’ll meet you at the corner!
Awful Father Humor
Cheesy wordplay
Silly Jokes for Children
Work-Appropriate Dad Jokes
Dad Jokes at the Dinner Table
Dad Jokes During Car Rides
Reader-Submitted Dad Jokes

Dad jokes are a mix of adoration and annoyance—much like corny puns, their humor lies in how unfunny they are. But how does a dad joke stand apart from an ordinary pun? The defining trait is its complete lack of coolness. While Grandma might reign over quirky phrases, Dad undoubtedly rules the realm of cringe-worthy humor. Whether we acknowledge it or not, these jokes can sometimes be genuinely amusing. Master these clever quips and wordplays, and you’ll quickly rise to Dad’s level as the ultimate pun monarch.

The Ultimate Collection of Dad Jokes

Dogs lack the ability to operate MRI machines. However, cats can.
At first, I couldn’t understand why the frisbee appeared to grow larger. Suddenly, the realization struck me.
Why did the coach visit the bank? To pick up his quarterback.
Why do fathers bring an additional set of socks when they play golf? Just in case they score a hole-in-one!
Singing in the shower is enjoyable until soap ends up in your mouth. At that point, it turns into a soap opera.
Where do fruits like to travel for a holiday? Pear-is.
I couldn’t figure out why the ball continued to grow larger and larger… // Suddenly, I understood.
Why do melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
What type of automobiles do eggs prefer? Yolkswagens.
Whenever I bring my dog to the park, the ducks attempt to nip at him. I suppose that’s the consequence of owning a pure bread dog.
I spent the entire night awake, attempting to determine the sun’s location. Suddenly, the answer became clear to me.
Why does Snoop Dogg never leave home without an umbrella? Fo’ Drizzle.
Dining at an upscale Italian eatery once set me back a hefty amount—quite a pretty penne.
The gym shut its doors—apparently, things didn’t work out.
Two artists competed in an art competition, but the result was a tie.
What type of music do mummies enjoy? Wrap.

What caused the car’s tire to go flat? It happened when it encountered a fork in the road!
What’s the name for a freezing pup? A chili dog.
Ever heard that joke about sausages? It’s truly the wurst.
Average items are produced in The Satisfactory.
How do you recognize a dogwood tree? By its bark.
Why did she agree to go out with the mushroom? Because he was such a fun-ghi.
Need a laugh about building stuff? It’s still under development.
What did the first hat say to the second? Stay put—I’ll go on without you!
Pigs shouldn’t be allowed to drive because they take up too much space on the road.
Have you heard about the man who came up with the “knock-knock” joke? He ended up winning the “no-bell” award.
Where do troubled rainbows end up? Prism—just a brief stint in the light.
When corn receives a compliment, how does it respond? Aw, shucks!
How do astronomers detect asteroids on a collision course with Earth? By using a collide-o-scope.

Silly Father Puns

Why did the nose say to the finger? Quit picking on me.
What do you name an unwell lemon? Lemon-aid.
The more it dries, the wetter it becomes. What is it? A towel.
If your boat isn’t feeling well, bring it to the doc.
What’s the name for a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
Why isn’t your hand able to measure 12 inches in length? Simply because that would make it a foot.
What comes with four wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
Why do pigs perform poorly in sports? It’s because they never share the ball—they just hog it.
Time moves swiftly as an arrow. Fruit is adored by flies, especially bananas.
How do moths move through water? By employing the butterfly stroke.
Why do astronauts love the space bar on a keyboard? It reminds them of home.
A soda can struck me in the head. Luckily, it was just a soft drink.
What’s the title of my dairy product? Nacho cheese.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? It’s the cows. The cows who? Silly, cows don’t say “who”—they say moo!
What’s the noisiest pet you could have? A trumpet.
What did the bison tell his son as he left him at school? Bison.
What do you get from an overindulged cow? Sour milk.
John arranged a blind date at a fitness center. She never arrived, so it seems things between them won’t work out.

Last year, I earned over six figures in total. However, I lost my job at the toy factory because my pace was deemed too sluggish.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? An elderly woman. An elderly woman who? Wow, you can yodel!
Why did the teddy bear refuse dessert? She was already full.
What did the left eye tell the right? There’s a funky scent lingering here.
Why should you avoid sharing secrets in a cornfield? Because there are too many ears around.
I was recently expelled from a clandestine culinary group. I let the secret slip.
What do you call it when a snowman loses its cool? A meltdown.
Why did the scarecrow receive an award? Because he excelled in his field.
I may not be an expert on Switzerland’s finest attractions, but their flag certainly stands out as a major advantage.
I once disliked facial hair, but over time, I came to appreciate it.
How many potatoes are required to prepare a pancake? A latke.
The ceremony was absolutely stunning, and even the dessert stood tall in multiple layers.
The other day, I put up a picture on the wall. You might say I nailed it.
Why are bar codes printed on Swedish battleships? It allows them to Scandinavian.
I created a pencil that has erasers on both ends. It serves no purpose.

Dad Jokes in a Single Line

Farewell, boiling water—soon you’ll vanish into vapor.
I once composed a tune about a tortilla, though it leans more toward being a wrap.
The witch’s ride zooms with a brrroom brrroom sound!
The server inquired if I’d like a container for my remaining food, but I replied that I’m not interested in boxing.
If you witness a crime at an Apple store, do you become an iWitness?
If the first riser gets the prize, I’d rather stay in bed until breakfast is served.
The ceremony was absolutely stunning, with even the cake layered elegantly.
I once played the piano by ear, but these days I rely on my hands instead.
Were termites among the creatures Noah brought aboard the ark?
I once disliked facial hair, but over time, I came to appreciate it.
Hold onto the dream a little longer and press the snooze button.
I crack dad jokes even though I’m not a father. I’m asocial blunder.
Whiteboards are truly exceptional.
I’m scared of speed bumps, though I’m gradually overcoming that fear.
I’m such a pro at sleeping that I can even do it with my eyes shut!
Some believe “prison” is just a single word, but for thieves, it represents an entire verdict.
I was once hooked on soap, but I’ve since gotten clean.
Is the ability of a photographic memory innate, or does it require practice and development over time?

Spring has arrived! I was so thrilled that I accidentally overwatered my plants!
I stood in the park, puzzled by the frisbee growing larger, until suddenly it struck me.
I filled a square glass with root beer. Now all that’s left is beer.
I dreamed I was a muffler. When I opened my eyes, I felt completely drained.
Words come at little cost until you consult an attorney.
A fish bumped into a wall and exclaimed, “Dam!”
A small horse with a cough is simply a pony.
Being an organ donor requires courage.

Silly Paternal Puns

I’ll phone you later. Don’t phone me later, phone me Dad!
A joke turns into a dad joke the moment it becomes apparent.
Which bear has the most superior attitude? A pan-duh.
Why did the little cookie feel down? Because his mother had been a wafer for far too long.
What beverage offers both bitter and sweet flavors? Reali-tea.
A dry cleaner was recently taken into custody—turns out he was involved in money laundering.
Why do fathers bring an additional pair of socks when they go golfing? Just in case they score a hole in one!
Belting out tunes in the shower is a blast until soap lands in your mouth. Suddenly, it turns into a soap opera.
Where do fruits love to travel for a holiday? Pear-is.
Why do melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
The photo was taken into custody—guess why? Because it ended up framed.
Why do M&Ms attend school? Because they aim to become a Smartie.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Tank. Tank who? That’s your thank you!
How do you keep a bagel safe? Secure it with lox!
I enjoy sharing Dad jokes with my father. Occasionally, he finds them funny!
What do you name a three-legged cow? Lean beef.
What do you name a cow that has lost its legs? Ground beef.
Why did the stadium become so warm after the match? Because all the fans had gone.

How did the mobile device ask his significant other to marry him? He presented her with a ring.
Why is signing a contract with Wolverine a bad idea? Due to his retractable clause.
What type of coffee does a vampire prefer? De-coffin-ated.
Today I handed out my used-up batteries at no cost. There was no fee for taking them.
How can you prevent a skunk from producing a bad odor? Simply pinch its snout!
What do you name a fish that has two knees? A two-knee fish!
Why is a taco bad at keeping secrets? It always lets the beans slip out!
The past, present, and future entered a bar together. The atmosphere grew tense.
What do you name a fish that lacks eyes? Fsh.
A book dropped onto my head, and the only one at fault is my shelf.
My mood ring was stolen. I’m not sure how to feel about it.
Why did the horse struggle to get back up after tumbling? Because it had fallen and couldn’t giddy up.

Awful Father Humor

What’s the term for Batman missing a church service? Christian Bale.
A man accidentally tumbled into an upholstery machine, but fortunately, he’s made a complete recovery.
Why do skeletons always stay so relaxed? It’s simple—nothing ever bothers them beneath their skin.
What did the first ocean say to the second ocean? Not a word—they simply waved.
Ever hear the story of the power outlet that picked a fight with a power cord? It was convinced it could socket to him.
Why did the nurse require a red pen? In case she had to draw blood.
Ever heard the tale of the chicken that crossed the border? Yeah, me neither—I lost track of it.
Can a leopard alter its spots? Only by shifting locations.
Atoms can’t be trusted—after all, they form the basis of everything!
I dread the calendar. Each of its days is counted.
Two men entered a bar. The third one dodged.
My wife suggested I try lunges to keep fit. That would definitely be a major leap in the right direction.
Why did the zero compliment the eight? That belt suits you perfectly.
I was asked for ID at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card slipped out by mistake. The cashier just waved it off.
What’s a buccaneer’s most beloved letter? (Someone replies RRR) You might assume it’s Rrrr, but in truth, it’s the C!

Last week, I attended a seafood disco, but unfortunately strained a mussel.
Have you caught wind of that butter gossip? Oh well, maybe I shouldn’t pass it around.
A man approaches the widow at a funeral and asks, “Do you mind if I say a word?” She replies, “Go ahead.” He says, “bargain.” She responds, “Thank you, that means a lot.”
How did the citrus make it to the dance? In a lemonzeen!
Discovering a worm in your apple is bad, but stumbling upon only half of one is far worse.
Wasabi! That’s what the sushi asked the bee.
Ever wondered why Grandparents and their grandkids bond so effortlessly? They share a mutual rival.
How do trees connect to the internet? They simply log in.
How does the moon trim its hair? By eclipsing it.
Air used to cost nothing at the gas station. Now it’s $1.50. The reason? Inflation.
As a child, my mom said I had the freedom to become whoever I wished. Little did I know, stealing someone’s identity is illegal.

Cheesy Dad Joke Puns

To the person who took my Microsoft Office, I’ll track you down. You’ve got my Word!
Celebrities keep their cool effortlessly—thanks to their countless fans.
What did the angler tell the conjurer? Select a cod, whichever cod you like.
What’s the term for a counterfeit noodle? An impasta.
How do you throw a cosmic celebration? You planet.
Did you know that milk holds the title of the quickest liquid on the planet? It undergoes pasteurization before it even becomes visible to you.
Why is a leopard bad at hiding? It’s because he’s constantly spotted.
How many tickles are needed to get an octopus to laugh? The answer is 10 tickles.
What’s the term for a frog parked unlawfully? Toad.
How do spiders seem so clever? They can locate anything on the web.
Why did the hipster scorch his tongue? He took a bite of his pizza before it was trendy.
Making a “dad joke” when you’re not a dad is inappropriate. It’s a social blunder.
The circus fire—did you catch the news? It was absolutely in tents.
Can February march? No, but April may!
What does a home put on? A dress.
How do attorneys bid farewell? We’ll see you in court!
What honor does the globe’s finest dentist receive? Just a small bit of plaque.
Want to hear a joke about paper? Forget it—it’s tearable.

Want to hear a muddy joke? A white horse slipped into a puddle of mud. Want to hear a spotless joke? The white horse washed off in the tub.
Have you heard the news about the chef who passed away? He pasta-way.
Two antennas chose to tie the knot—the wedding itself was dull, but the reception turned out to be fantastic!
Why do seagulls reside near the ocean? If they made their home by the bay, they’d turn into bagels.
What’s the name for a duck celebrating Independence Day? A fire-quacker.
The optimal method to view a fly fishing tournament is by streaming it live.
I might share a pizza joke, but it’s a bit too cheesy.
Whenever I bring my dog to the park, the ducks attempt to nip at him. I suppose that’s the consequence of owning a pure bread dog.
What rises and falls yet stays perfectly still? Stairs.
I mentioned to my doctor that I fractured my arm in two different spots. He advised me to avoid those locations from now on.
What do you call a mountain that cracks jokes? Hill-arious.
What do you call a group of infants in the military? Infantry.

Silly Jokes for Children by Dad

Purchasing anything that uses velcro is a waste of money—it’s a complete scam.
When did the man visit the dentist? At tooth hurt-y o’clock.
I had your grandma on speed dial recently. I like to call it insta-gram.
What type of egg did the wicked chicken produce? A deviled egg.
Why is it a good idea to wear glasses during math class? Because they improve your ability to divide.
Which moves quicker, hot or cold? Hot does, since you can catch a cold.
How does a bee tidy up its hair? It relies on a honeycomb.
How can you get a Kleenex to dance? Just add a bit of boogie to it!
What comes from an overindulged cow? Soured milk!
Why did 6 fear 7? Because 7 consumed 9.
Where do young kittens learn to swim? The kitty pool.
Why do pirates struggle to master the alphabet so much? Because they often get stuck at C for years.
What creature always breaks the rules? A cheetah.
What noise comes from the motor of a witch’s mode of transportation?Vroooom vroooom!
What’s the term for a fish dressed in a bow tie? Sofishticated.
Which bone is impossible for a dog to chew? A trombone.
Sundays carry a hint of sorrow, yet the day preceding them feels even more melancholic.

Where do you pick up the skills to prepare a banana split? At sundae school.
Ever noticed what’s unusual? It’s every alternate digit.
What did the first ocean say to the second? Not a word—they simply exchanged waves.
What’s the best way to paddle a canoe packed with puppies? Just let them use their doggy paddle.
Why does cold water lack confidence? Because it’s never referred to as hot.
Why did the donut visit the dentist? To have a filling put in.
I never trust stairs. They’re constantly plotting something.
When a frog’s vehicle stops working, it ends up toad.
Why did the 0 compliment the 8? Nice belt.
What’s the term for a sluggish kangaroo? A pouch potato.
What was Tennessee up to? Exactly what Arkansas did.
Ironing a four-leaf clover is a bad idea—you never want to press your luck.
Which rock band consists of four members who don’t perform vocals? Mount Rushmore.
Where can pirates purchase hooks? At a second-hand shop.
Why didn’t the skeleton ride the rollercoaster? It lacked the courage.
Why did the birds go after the dog? He was pure bread.

Dad Jokes For the Workplace

Why did the broom arrive late for work? It swept past its schedule.
What does a young computer call its dad? Data.
What makes elevator jokes so effective? They function on multiple levels.
Why did the computer start sneezing? It caught a virus.
What is the email password for Forrest Gump? It’s 1forest1.
No matter how hard you try to stretch the limits, it will always remain stationery.
What do you name a laptop that can sing? A Dell.
Why did the gloomy cup of coffee get that name? Because it’s a depresso.
Why does coffee love to gossip? Because it can’t help but spill the beans.
In a battle between Sunday and Monday, who comes out on top? Sunday wins, since Monday is part of the workweek.
Why was the worker dismissed from the calendar company? He removed a day.
At my job, I stay active by leaping to assumptions, stretching my fortune, and sidestepping due dates.
My coworker and I joke about our rivalry, though I end up laughing harder.
Ever had a Friday feeling, only to realize it’s actually Thursday? That’s the worst.
Where do computers hit the dance floor? The disk-o.
I’ve got some jokes about people without jobs, but unfortunately, none of them are working.
What did the computer have during his lunch break? Took a byte.

Today, I lost my job at the bank after an incident with a customer. She requested that I check her balance, and instead, I knocked her down.
Computers overheat when they have to let off steam.
I created a pencil featuring two erasers. It served no purpose.
Why did the coffee machine submit a grievance? It failed to espresso itself correctly!
How do construction workers celebrate? They lift the ceiling!
Why did the photocopier seek counseling? It was overwhelmed by its paper problems.
Looking to buy chicken broth in large quantities? Try the stock market.
Why do chemists excel at tackling challenges? Because they possess every possible solution!
Taking someone’s coffee without permission? That’s a mugging.
What snack does a computer love the most? Microchips.

Dad Jokes at the Dinner Table

My kid just hurled a milk container in my direction. How lactose-intolerant of them?
Why are hamburgers great at baseball? Because they excel at the plate!
I was about to share a pizza joke with you, but it’s far too cheesy.
Why did the banana visit the doctor? It wasn’t feeling well in its peel.
What do you name an ordinary potato? A commentater.
Have you listened to that track about the tortilla? Truth be told, it leaned more toward being a wrap.
Why are hamburgers unreliable witnesses? No matter how intensely you question them, they refuse to say a word!
What’s the ideal day to enjoy bacon? Fryday.
Did you know a hamburger can dance the hula? Simply ask for one with a shake.
I used to deliver ice for a living. It was the chilliest job I’ve ever done.
What TV program do cats love the most? The nightly mews.
Want to prepare rabbit stew? Just delay serving it.
What do you name two banana peels? A set of slippers.

Dad Jokes During Car Journeys

Dublin, the capital of Ireland, consistently ranks as the most rapidly expanding city. Year after year, it maintains this leading position.
What was Delaware’s action? She acquired her New Jersey.
Florida is a simple destination to relocate to, thanks to its abundance of keys.
What did Tennessee accomplish? Exactly what Arkansas did.
What was the first traffic light’s remark to the second traffic light? “Turn away! I’m switching!”
What happens when you mix a bicycle with a rose? You end up with bicycle petals!
Which component of the car is the least motivated? The wheels. They’re perpetually exhausted.
“Hey frog,” the bus conductor called out, “why don’t you hop aboard?”
Cars are most likely to get flat tires in places where the road splits into separate paths.
An officer stopped me for circling in my car. I was only taking a quick drive around.
Does the condition of goods deteriorating during transit transform them into bads?
My bicycle won’t stay upright on its own. It must be because it’s two tired.

Dad Jokes Shared by Our Audience

Two sausages sizzled side by side in a frying pan. Suddenly, one turned to the other and gasped, “It’s really hot in here!” The second sausage stared back in shock and exclaimed, “Hold on—you can speak?” — Submitted by Abbi Wilt
“Each time we drove by a graveyard: ‘Folks are practically dying to get inside!’ ” -Submitted by Lynn McWlliams
“List the friends who join you for meals every time… Your tasteBUDS” – Submitted by Nathaniel VineyardWorker Jordan Jr.
“Toilet paper’s all gone, so lettuce leaves are the new solution. Today was just the start—tomorrow’s outcome romaines uncertain.” – Submitted by Georgia Rotary Student Program
“Were you aware that in Hawaii, laughing too loudly is against the law? You’re required to keep it at a lo ha.” Submitted by Claudia McCabe