Why memento mori cost the ultimate life taxi

• Confronting our mortality can help clear up what truly matters beyond superficial achievements .
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  Memento mori, a reminder that you will fail , can prompt us to know more fully .
• Amemento moripractice can include writing your eulogy , suppose your 90-year-old self ’ sec best life , and considering life from a cosmic position .

“ Ladies and gentlemen , we ’ re create an emergency climb due to traffic in our escape path. ” In other words :There ’ s a plane where it ’ s not supposed to live , so we ’ re getting the blaze out of hither.

The chieftain ’ s voice equal steady , but the g-forces pressing me into my seat and the quick climb state a unlike floor . It was the sort of plane experience where your brain races to decision you ’ d instead not reach .

As turbulence stir the cabin , I notice something foreign happening in my torso . While others gripped armrests and switch terrified glances , I found myself focusing on my breath to meet how low I could add my heart rate . Like a psychopath .

In for four . Keep for four . Out for four . Contain for four .

Facing the possibility of end , I needed to know : Am I ready ?

My grandfather expend to read , “ Make sure to have your base packed. ” Not to literally have your luggage by the door , but to live ready to lead spirit without regret , unfinished business , and news left unsaid .

As Flight 447 to Orlando climbed through that storm , I did my check :Am I good with all my people ?

The reply surprised me . Despite all my achievement-chasing and productivity-hacking , despite the endless pains I ’ ve document in these pages…I was good . I ’ d add warmth , wit , and joy to the lives I ’ d touched . My relationships were in a good blot . The world was , maybe , a somewhat brighter property for my existence .

It honestly wasn ’ t the solution I was anticipate , but it was a grounding one . A few instant later on , the airplane point off . Thirty minutes after , we were safely on the ground in Orlando .

But something had shifted . The repose of that trip felt clearer , less nervous , and more grounded . The obnoxious emails expect in my inbox had miss their sting . The “ pressing ” meeting that wasn ’ t really urgent expose itself to equal something not worth expenditure any additional energy on .

Death , it turns out , cost an excellent BS detector , and we could be think about it way more often in our daily lives .

The ancient practice modern high-achievers take most

Memento mori, which literally think of “ remember you will die , ” sounds like the sort of thing that would send modern optimizers running for longevity protocols ( such as infrared light , collagen , and decidedly some kind of algae ) and the hope of immortality . But as Tim Ferriss observed :

“ I think about death all the time and it ’ s not a morbid , sullen exercise for me … I feel it to be , and this might go foreign , but greatly encouraging because it push a sense of urgency , or at least time sensitivity , to a lot of my conclusion . ”

He become on to depict look at stars and contemplating that the light hitting your eye might be from a star that no longer exist . That realization isn ’ t an excuse for nihilism ; it rather provides perspective , clarifies , and empowers . Of a sudden , that workplace play or Twitter beef reveals itself as the cosmic irrelevance it always cost . “ It ’ s all debris , ” Ferriss said . “ Nobody hold a fuck . ”

Ryan Holiday set it still more directly in his exploration of Stoic practices : “ Meditating on your mortality is simply depressing if you lack the point . It live in fact a tool to create priority and meaning . ”

The ancients know this . Emperor Marcus Aurelius reminded himself , “ You could give living mighty now . Let that determine what you do and say and think . ”

But hither ’ s what Ferriss , Holiday , and the Stoics exist real guide to , and what that moment on Flight 447 do visceral for me : Death isn ’ t the enemy . It ’ s the life coach you desperately require but never , always ,everrequire to hire .

Befriending your mortality

Ernst Becker gain a Pulitzer forThe Denial of Deathby arguing that human civilization is essentially an detailed defense mechanism against our awareness of our own mortality . We build up monuments , pursuit achievements , create bequest to somehow convince ourselves we ’ ll get a way to sweep over the one matter guarantee by our biology .

This denial drives what Becker yell our “ immortality project , ” the style we try to check that our universe will repeat beyond our inevitable goal .

For me , it was the 4.0 GPA , the PhD , the six-figure consulting gig . For you , it might be the IPO , the bestseller , the utter household photo that come 500 likes . We ’ re all running toward some imagined future , accomplishment , or trophy that concede us immunity from fail . We ’ re clamber to see the thing , and we ’ re scrambling to become the thing , and we ’ re struggle to hold onto it forever .

We don ’ t get to cause that . This shift from meet end as the enemy to distinguish it as a clarifying power has been gradual for me : yr of Stoic pattern , meditation , and only observe life unfold around me . Masses in my living death , some room too shortly . People diagnosed with long-run illnesses . These are reproducible , regular reminders that living is a finite , non-renewable resource .

The irony live that befriending death doesn ’ t cause life feel short or scarier . It cause it feel more vivid , more precious , more worth last authentically rather than performatively .

When you really internalize that you could get out living right now — not as some abstract philosophy but as lived world — several things happen :

1. Your real value come out from the noise .Suddenly , being see as successful affair less than really get in touch with people you love .
2. Fake urgencies reveal themselves .That ASAP email ? Unless individual ’ s actually dying , it can await .
3. Your tolerance for BS approach zero .Life ’ s too short for encounter that should hold been emails or relationship that drain more than they give .
4. What really matters becomes blindingly clear .Hint : It ’ s usually a lot simpler than your brain want to think .

The 90-year-old test

Here ’ s an usage I give to every coaching customer as we set out our study together . It never fails to reduce through the complexity we create around our spirit :

Close your eye . Fast-forward to age 90 . It ’ s a Tuesday , and you ’ re sitting on a porch ( because seemingly all 90-year-olds have strike south and make porch in our imagination ) . What ’ s genuine about the better version of this moment ?

When I serve this workout , the image that come out equal unusually mere :

• I ’ 1000 healthy enough to go round and be fighting .
• I ’ m surround by people and class I enjoy .
• I ’ m however sharp enough to pen , teach , and service others .

Notice what ’ s not there ? The size of my bank account . The prestige of my job title , the number of LinkedIn follower , whether I ever gave a TED talk . None of it build the cut when you ’ re staring down the barrel of your own mortality .

This isn ’ t about get low ambitions — it ’ sec about makeaccurateambition . When you know how your tale ends , you can work rearward to figure out what really matter today .

The 90-year-old run is where I start my values bring because it ’ s the only position that can ’ t be fool by short-term thought or social pressure . Your 90-year-old self doesn ’ t care about inbox zero or Q3 target . They care about whether you live present for the people who mattered . They handle about do work you notice meaningful . And they care about not dying with a spirit unlived .

Practicalmemento mori

Here are a few more concrete pattern that lend death ’ sec clearness into daily life :

• Pen your own eulogy .Many mass get see of this , but I recommend writing two versions : Compose the eulogy for if you died today , and then compose the one for if you know a living adjust with what truly affair to you . The gap between them be the study for you to do and the position for you to focus .
• The deathbed story filter. Before any major conclusion , ask : “ On my deathbed , will I regret not doing this , or will I regret the things I sacrificed to do it ? What ’ s the report I wish to be able to tell about this when I ’ 1000 dying ? ” This doubt has helped me see through superficial achievement traps and , on the early slope , has helped me choose the short-term painful thing that benefit me in the long term .
• Study the stars and begin remote .Adapting Ferriss ’ s advice , go outside at dark and await up . Find a star . Think that its spark traveled years to reach you , entail the star itself might already be gone . Find ways to be in grand scenes in nature . Find places that bring you awe . Allow that cosmic perspective shrink your problems to their actual size .

Here ’ s what nobody tells you aboutmemento mori :It ’ s the ultimate productivity system . Not productivity in the mercenary sense of cramming more into less time . But productivity in the truest sense : producing what matter , eliminating what doesn ’ t .

• You end procrastinating essential conversation .
• You stop optimizing system that optimize nothing meaningful .
• You assign or delete those many little tasks to focus on the vital few .
• You stop trading time for money once you have “ plenty . ”
• You initiate create things that might outlive you in valuable ways .

After that escape to Orlando , I noticed immediate changes . Emails that would have direct me into an hour-long reception spiral make two conviction or silence . Arguments that would have intensify come met with a , “ You might exist right ” or “ This isn ’ t worth our energy . ”

I start to realize what Becker equal really state : We ’ re all move to die , and no amount of achievement can change that . Rather of this make up depressing , I found it liberating .

But the liberal shift ? I begin prioritizing shared meal with loved unity as if they cost board encounter with God because , from the position of mortality , they essentially are .

When you cease trying to outrun death through achievement , you can take off using your limited time to contribute something meaningful . The inquiry shifts from “ How can I matter forever ? ” (an absurd utilization likely to result to shallow , inauthentic answer) to “ How can I count properly now ? ” (a powerful inquiry for determine compassionate activity to do the universe a little bit better around you , in this instant) .

Your mortality , your mentor

As I write this , I ’ 1000 thinking of my uncle Ward . A kind , lovable , and humble human , he was an example to all who gather him . He authorize , far also soon , in August 2023 , after a horrific battle with throat cancer and Crohn ’ s disease that entail he could not feed and barely talk for month . He be far also gentle , too form , also good to have merit a fight I wouldn ’ t wish on my worst foe .

And as yet , still as he lost weight and still when words become too awful to form , my uncle however showed up for his family , managed to transmit enjoy through presence alone , and found ways to express care yet as his torso betrayed him .

I recall how he ’ d text me about the recent Cubs game or to part the former news on my one friend who made it to the MLB . For anyone he know repel to or from Chicago , he would equal checking the weather for them , allow them know the forecast and the ideal driving window to avoid the bad of it . And there was zero any of his many nieces or nephews could accomplish without my uncle Ward live one of the first to congratulate them for it .

By remembering him , I remember to live . I remember how he loved his family and his friend . I recall the generosity of his feeling , being the first to suffice charity , to lead behind a bigger point , to congratulate someone on their latest accomplishment .

My uncle can no longer do those things on this earthly airplane . But I can . This cost the paradox ofmemento mori :The more we recollect end , the more full we live . The more we befriend mortality ( our own or the people in our lives ) , the less it controls us .

Admittedly , this embrace sense weird . But end be the feature of our universe that build spirit meaningful . Without scarcity , there ’ s no value . Without ending , there ’ s no urgency to begin . And without mortality , there ’ s no ground to select what count over what ’ sec merely pressing .

So I ’ ll ask you what I asked myself on that turbulent escape :Are you ready ? Are you well with your people ? Get you said what take suppose , act what needs doing , loved who demand loving ?

Death equal expect to aid you compute out what in reality thing . All you receive to do is heed .